Money & Relationships

The other night I asked my seventeen year old son who he would choose–a woman he loved who had no money or a woman he cared about who had a lot  of money.

He told me he needed more information. I asked him what information he needed but he said he wasn’t sure…

I guess even in terms of the heart it is possible that financial rewards weigh in pretty mightily. Maybe it’s because money or rather the lack of it makes life so much harder to live. Money is the primary means of exchange for goods and services. It’s a whole lot easier to say that money isn’t important when you’ve got lots of it. If you don’t have money the lack of it quickly becomes a primary life stressor because whether we like it or not, it continues to be a means for survival in our society.

I personally prescribe to the notion that money isn’t everything but I can’t deny its importance because if I did it would allow me to rationalize costly spending errors that create debt and too many of those would cause me to dig myself into a deep hole.

Another question: Would I rather choose to become involved with a person who had heavy debt or a person who had minimal debt? Does the heart look more kindly on those who have shown prudent financial judgment? Where do you stand? It’s likely that attraction and love are intertwined with the ability to make good decisions in all facets of life. If a person you choose to date is homeless and you know this going into a relationship with them won’t this weigh heavily on your decision to remain in the relationship? Does the potential for a relatively smooth or rocky existence sway you one way or the other? If you prescribe to the life style of homelessness and bartering as a means for survival this relationship may be okay with you. But if this isn’t a lifestyle you would choose for yourself it’s not likely the two of you would share much common ground and after all, common ground helps us become attracted in the first place.

Choosing a relationship partner based primarily on the financial rewards you are likely to obtain as a result of being in that relationship is cheating you and the other person. On the other hand, not realistically viewing the overall picture of your life with the other person is not wise either. It would seem that growing every day in order to develop into the person you want to be will move you toward individuals who are most like you.

Without money life is tough. Developing and establishing relationships with money as the primary focus may fill our pockets but empty our souls.

I guess a good way to summarize is a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Money often costs too much

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