Posts Tagged ‘weak’

A Superpower – Embracing Your Fears

Saturday, July 30th, 2016

We all have fears and these fears can keep us from moving forward with our goals. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear of rejection are the big three and are actually intertwined.

Say you have fear of rejection. We all have it in life at one time or another whether it be when applying for a job, a promotion, making new friends, or in dating.

It can be daunting to set a goal in one of the above areas or in something else and then carry along with it the fear of being rejected.

One approach may be to deny this fear yet to deny it is to pretend it doesn’t exist and that can catapult you into major anxiety. On the other hand, if you embrace this fear you admit to yourself that the fear is real and develop a strategy to face it head on. Say you are applying for a new job and it is one you feel would be a perfect fit. Apply and put forth your best effort and see what happens. You may have great fear that you won’t get the job and that’s okay. Accept that you have this fear then apply for other jobs instead of hanging all your hopes on only one.

Maybe you want to put up an online dating profile. Do the same thing.

Prepare nice photos and a good profile.

Seek help to navigate dating if needed but move forward with it instead of allowing the fear of rejection to keep you on the sidelines.

In any new situation begin by accepting you. Be proud of you and your decision to put yourself out there. The ability to accept your fears and move forward is powerful and could in fact be considered a superpower.

You have no control over what others do and say or what actions they take or don’t take. Keep your focus on you and the actions you decide to take.

Instead of running from your fears nurture and feel compassion for the insecure parts of you because you can learn much from paying attention to them. When these fears  surface instead of discounting them accept their presence and embrace them. This will help you become more courageous in many areas of your life.

Encourage and support yourself because when you do you’ll be more likely to believe in your own potential to achieve your goals.

No Contact

Relationship Power Distribution

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

When you’re in a relationship where the distribution of power is lopsided, the person with little or no power becomes even more powerless by silencing their own voice. You don’t intentionally stop talking. There is a freeze that happens. You have trouble gathering your thoughts and speaking up when in communication with the person you see as having more power than you. Remember–they have more power only because you have turned your power over to them. When trying to communicate  with a person you have given your power to: take a breath and gather your thoughts; make eye contact; say what you need to say; keep it brief. The more you speak up; the more confident you will be. People who are power mongers are not typically good listeners. They’ll look down, walk away, do something else, but not usually interested in listening to anyone other than themselves. Don’t chase after them to have a conversation. Chasing is like begging–begging for time and attention. As you speak up and reclaim your power you will decide if it is worth your time to communicate with this person. You are responsible for your life and the direction it will take. If you are not safe to have a conversation with the other person and reclaim your power please seek help.

No Contact

A Leader? Who, Me?

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Do you think of a leader as someone other than you? Some of us get into relationships with difficult individuals because we are looking for someone who we think has something we are missing or appears to be someone we are not. We gravitate toward these people and in the process shove ourselves out of our own lives.

Why do we do this? Because it is easier than stepping up to the plate and putting ourselves into the forefront of our own lives. We have the ability and we have the intelligence but what we often choose to believe is that we can’t do it and need someone else to hold us up. We might also believe that only the very charismatic are meant to be strong leaders. And that only the outspoken know what is best. Why do they know what is best? Probably because they have absolutely no problem telling us how much they know and why we should listen to and pay attention to them!

We don’t have to talk our way into leadership. Please follow this link re: The Hobbit: