Posts Tagged ‘voice’

Their Way

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

Just because he/she wants it their way doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be.

Just because they think you should doesn’t mean you must. No Contact

Just because they think you’re wrong
doesn’t mean they’re right.

Put stock in what you think.

Listen to that voice in your head.
It’s your best bet.

Impressions

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

Have you ever been nervous to the point where you make yourself sick when it comes to thinking about the impressions you make on others? Maybe panic sets in when it comes to impressing a new boss, co-worker, friend, or relationship partner?

It’s pretty normal to be nervous in new situations like the above but don’t let panic set in and attempt to make quick changes because you feel the real you is less than remarkable. Maintain balance in your relationships with others. If you hear that voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can’t, you won’t, you’re not good enough, don’t even try; steady yourself and hold your head up high. Replace those thoughts with–I can, I will, I am good enough, I have every right to…

The battle with the negative voice is ongoing. We have to work to silence it by not giving it power. When we give that voice power we not only lose out on opportunity and relationships, we jeopardize our health and well being.

No Contact

Listen Up

Monday, December 28th, 2015

This time of year people are usually starting to think about changes they want to make in the new year.

One way we can all change is to listen to what others have to say.

People around us–relatives, friends, acquaintances, teachers, spouses, children all have opinions and want nothing more than to be listened to.

Active listening allows us to be totally tuned in to what another person has to say. It is a precious gift to listen.

The last thing you want to do is pretend you’re listening but tuning in and out and then trying to catch up at the end of the conversation.

It is easier to listen if you’re not distracted.
Harder to do when the dog barks, the phone rings, you’re listening to one child while another one comes up and asks you a question.

The problem is that sometimes even when it’s just you and one other person, listening isn’t always easy but listening is one of the most important things you can do for your family, friends, co-workers and for you.

Here are some quotes about listening:

If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk. Robert Baden-Powell

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Stephen R. Covey

The art of conversation lies in listening. Malcomb Forbes

and

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less. Diogenes

No Contact

Relationship Power Distribution

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

When you’re in a relationship where the distribution of power is lopsided, the person with little or no power becomes even more powerless by silencing their own voice. You don’t intentionally stop talking. There is a freeze that happens. You have trouble gathering your thoughts and speaking up when in communication with the person you see as having more power than you. Remember–they have more power only because you have turned your power over to them. When trying to communicate  with a person you have given your power to: take a breath and gather your thoughts; make eye contact; say what you need to say; keep it brief. The more you speak up; the more confident you will be. People who are power mongers are not typically good listeners. They’ll look down, walk away, do something else, but not usually interested in listening to anyone other than themselves. Don’t chase after them to have a conversation. Chasing is like begging–begging for time and attention. As you speak up and reclaim your power you will decide if it is worth your time to communicate with this person. You are responsible for your life and the direction it will take. If you are not safe to have a conversation with the other person and reclaim your power please seek help. http://www.thehotline.org/

No Contact

When You Don’t Have Power

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

When you’re in a relationship where the distribution of power is lopsided, the person with little or no power becomes even more powerless by silencing their own voice.

You don’t intentionally stop talking. There is a freeze that happens. This freeze causes you to have great difficulty gathering your thoughts and speaking when in communication with a person whom you see as having more power than you. Remember–they have more power because you have turned your power over to them.

When trying to communicate  with a person who you have given your power to:

Take a breath and gather your thoughts.

Make eye contact.

Say what you need to say; keep it brief.

The more you speak up; the more confident you will become.

People who have the power are not typically good listeners. They will look down, walk away, do something else, but not usually interested in listening to anyone other than themselves.

Don’t chase after them to talk to them. Chasing is like begging–begging for time and attention.

As you speak up and reclaim your power you will decide if it is worth your time to communicate with this person.

You are responsible for your life and the direction it will take.

If you are not safe to have a conversation with the other person and reclaim your power please seek help.

http://www.thehotline.org/

No Contact

 

 

 

 

 

Lift the Silence!

Monday, October 7th, 2013

When we let others drown out our voice we are silenced.

When we let others command our attention to the point where we are moved to silence, we lose our voice.

When we give up our voice because we are afraid or it’s not worth the energy it would take to stand up and be heard, we lose our voice.

We might quietly decide that our words have less value than those of a partner who is quicker to speak and louder than we are.

Those who speak quicker and louder do so to keep you silent.

Keeping their mouths open assures that yours stays shut.

Your voice needs to be heard.

Your voice will increase in volume once you allow it to be heard.

If you have been conditioned to be silent you must find the inner strength to overcome this conditioning. Practice daily stating your opinion. Offer your opinion up when you feel it is safe to do so.

Write daily in a diary writing about  how you feel re: issues that come up for you. Get used to looking to yourself for answers instead of believing that you can’t trust your decisions.

Slowly, as you begin to believe in your own value others around you will take notice.

Post a notice to yourself  where you will see it every day–I AM SMART STRONG & COURAGEOUS. I HAVE VALUE & I BELIEVE IN ME.  Incorporate this into your personhood.

If you are feeling threatened bullied defeated and are giving up your voice for the sake of another please resist the urge to continue on in this manner.

If you need help please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1 800 799 SAFE (7233)

No Contact

Inner Voice

Sunday, August 18th, 2013

Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead you down the right path.          Henry Winkler

Break the Silence

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

No ContactDo you feel that you have been silenced? Do you want to break the silence?

When we let others drown out our voice we are silenced.

When we let others command our attention to the point where we are moved to silence, we lose our voice.

When we give up our voice because we are afraid or it’s not worth the energy it would take to stand up and be heard, we lose our voice.

We might quietly decide that our words have less value than those of a partner who is quicker to speak and louder than we are.

Those who speak quicker and louder do so to keep you silent.

Keeping their mouths open assures that yours stays shut.

Your voice needs to be heard.

Your voice will increase in volume once you allow it to be heard.

If you have been conditioned to be silent you must find the inner strength to overcome this conditioning. Practice daily stating your opinion. Offer your opinion up when you feel it is safe to do so.

Write daily in a diary writing about  how you feel re: issues that come up for you. Get used to looking to yourself for answers instead of believing that you can’t trust your decisions.

Slowly, as you begin to believe in your own value others around you will take notice.

Post a notice to yourself  where you will see it every day–I AM SMART STRONG & COURAGEOUS. I HAVE VALUE & I BELIEVE IN ME.  Incorporate this into your personhood. If it’s not safe to post this memorize and say to your self on a daily basis.

If you are feeling threatened bullied defeated and are giving up your voice for the sake of another please resist the urge to continue on in this manner.

For help please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

1.800. 799. SAFE (7233)

Barbies Hit Home Domestic Violence

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

http://bit.ly/xu70WA