Posts Tagged ‘us’

Whisperer

Saturday, May 26th, 2018

No ContactDo you know a whisperer? I had a conversation not too long ago with a friend who told me she doesn’t like to go into her dentist office even though she thinks the dentist is great because the receptionist staff whispers in the receptionist area.

I shrugged and said they probably need to keep quiet because of patient confidentiality.

She said no, she didn’t think that was it and said she’s observed that after a patient comes into the office to check in and then sits down in the waiting area the reception staff whispers among themselves about the patient.

I got to thinking about this and said you know maybe you should say something to the staff. And she said– she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

So here’s the thing:

Call it what you will but there are people who like to talk about other people period. There are some people who are not so subtle about it and do it no matter whether the person is with in earshot or not. They like it and they do it and that’s just the way it is. You can like it or not like it and it really doesn’t make any difference because they don’t care.

But here is the absolutely beautiful thing about gossip because when it comes right down to it when a person whispers–it is often gossip.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or doesn’t say.

It doesn’t matter who someone else is or isn’t being.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do.

The only thing that you or I or anyone else has any control over is ourselves. We have the amazing opportunity to take care of ourselves and what others do or say or who they are or aren’t has absolutely no bearing on us.

The worry about others is a wasted worry. Staying up at night or waking up at night worrying about what you think someone else is doing or saying or being is not in any way shape or form a matter that should hold you captive.

Others can whisper, shout, or scream and it has nothing to do with us.

Take charge, go out there and be you. You are the only person who can and it is your responsibility to do that. Others will either like it or they won’t and be glad that we all have the freedom to make that choice.

Give to Ourselves First

Friday, May 18th, 2018

No ContactThose of us who keep looking to the outside for our happiness and well being are always going to find disappointment and likely even abuse in our love relationships because there is no living person who can give to us what we must give to ourselves first.

Another person can be supportive of who we are and stand beside us but if we do not stand up for us first why would another person? We will get exactly the type of relationship partner that we are ready to receive and if what we’re ready for is someone who is always looking for someone outside themselves to fill and make them whole we will be a match with that person because we are looking for the same thing.

If we get involved in love relationships too quickly before we truly know the person we are setting up the end of the relationship right from the beginning. Abusers like quick starts as they are not patient people. They want what they want when they want it and they let you know quickly that they are running the show. If you fear confronting this opposition and keep quiet when you should be speaking up you are choosing to maintain the relationship rather than speaking your truth. The difficult conversations are vital to your health and well being.

So ask yourself, who is running the show? You must choose you! In the face of abuse what else are you going to do?

If you want to be in charge of your life and have loving relationships with people who also love themselves you must change the way you view relationships and yourself. There is no other way.

There are resources to help you. Follow this link to a resource where you may just find the help you
need: http://bit.ly/2qBHUd8

As always, you must be safe. If you are living in a destructive relationship do what you can for yourself while still in your current living situation.

Love & Devotion to Self

Saturday, April 14th, 2018

No ContactDevotion to self is pretty easy when things are going well. Being present with love & devotion to self when stressed is something entirely different.

In my line of work I spend most of my time being out in the customer’s home. For the most part I can tell myself I’m going to have a great day and keep that self talk going. I need to do this because sales is a tough job and can get discouraging because there are multiple challenges and rejection to face on a regular basis. I know that’s part of the job and I accept it.

However

There are times when no amount of self talk is going to save me. When I’m hungry and tired and in a customer’s home with another hour or so to go it can be hard to cope.

But the one thing that drives me nuts is when I can’t find a pen!!

I have lots of pens–but due to the hectic nature of the work, pens disappear. This is a problem when it comes to taking measurements and writing up invoices. A few weeks back I couldn’t find a pen so I ended up borrowing one from the customer wrote out the invoice and finished the consult.

As challenges go not having a pen is not a gigantic one yet it can be unnerving in a sales situation because having a pen is important. In the moment my head scolds me telling me how unprofessional it makes me look not to have one. On the other hand I tell myself it makes me look human so I step back, take a deep breath and give myself some grace.

So the point to this is:

I really concentrated on not beating myself up over not having a pen but instead with determination found an old zipper pouch and stashed quite a few pens in it. I also ended up getting a better bag–one with more storage compartments.

When things don’t go exactly like you want them to but you’ve got your heart into what you do, know that it is enough. In fact, you’re likely doing an amazing job at what you do but fail to see how spectacular you really are.

The goal isn’t to be perfect but to be perfectly fine with yourself.

If we don’t challenge ourselves to love us by taking a stand for who we are and what we do in life–deep down we know it.

Being devoted to self is the key to living life the way we are meant to live it in all aspects of life. Love who you are always. Think thoughts that allow positive forces to be at the top of your mind. Really let positive thoughts rule in your life. Kick the thoughts that don’t serve you to the curb and keep them there. One method I’ve found that works is picking up an imaginary shovel full of dirt and burying pesky negativity from the past. Once it’s buried it’s gone. If it comes back I get the shovel out again. I also use an imaginary detonator and explode the thought out of my consciousness. If It comes back I detonate again.

The biggest challenge we face is loving ourselves. We don’t have to do life perfectly we just need to live life and love ourselves unconditionally.

Full Engagement

Tuesday, April 4th, 2017

No ContactFull engagement in your own life is a must.

Your own interests

Your own plans, activities, friends and family.

The best relationship any of us ever has is the one we have with ourselves. If it is when we form a partnership with another person we will add to what we already have rather than take away from what we love in order to accommodate a new partner.

For those of us who are experienced with being in destructive relationships, we tend to let the other person dictate what we do and don’t do, where we go, who we see and don’t see, heck we even let partners decide what we eat!

When it comes right down to it all any of us have is ourselves. Other people will leave us either through divorce, break up, abandonment or death.

You have this great opportunity while living to take care of you. Love others as best you can but remember they are humans just like you. They don’t own you and no human will ever be your higher power.

Engaging in your own life first and foremost will bring you the peace of mind that will allow you to have strong relationships with others.