Posts Tagged ‘true feelings’

You’ve Got Feelings–Express Them

Monday, June 25th, 2012

From the time we were kids most of us were taught that it’s okay to express certain feelings but not others. We learned that if we express feelings that make others uncomfortable it put us in an unfavorable light and that was to be avoided. We could feel grateful but not angry. It was okay to be confident but not scared. It was good to ask for advice from parents and other authority figures but not question them.

We also learned that there were times we should hide our feelings–even from ourselves. We might fear social contact but don’t own it and instead say we are bored. We might be hurt and feel rejected by another person but instead of communicating those feelings replace them with anger. If we’re in an abusive relationship we deny it and instead call it a successful relationship because we believe that we need that relationship in order to survive.

We get into trouble when we don’t acknowledge our true feelings. We can stuff them down inside us for awhile but all we get for the continual denial is feelings that come out in other ways–backaches, headaches, ulcers or worse.

There is good reading material available that addresses the question of surpressed anger such as The Anger Trap by Les Carter or Healing the Shame by John Bradshaw. We have a choice. We can move through life as one of the walking wounded or we can take steps to heal our selves as we grow.

Relationships Are What Make the World Go Around

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Valentines’ Day is around the corner and at this time, many people find themselves focusing on the relationships in their lives whether they are single, in a relationship or married. However, it’s important to remember that this could, and should, be done the other 364 days out of the year.

When it comes to relationships, Feng Shui’s basic principle that everything is connected energetically applies. Your thoughts, behavior and feelings are influenced by your surroundings. So, if you are single but are looking to be in a relationship, your surroundings should reflect that. It’s the basic law of attraction and it can be implemented in any relationship – even with family members and co-workers. To make your life reflect what you want, you should rid it of negative energy.

Mirroring your own behavior is a simple way to do this. Sometimes people don’t realize the amount of negativity they release so it’s always key to stay positive and act in a way that reflects what you want. Remember to use “I” statements to unblock communication issues in relationships. Using “I” will uncover what you want and what you feel. It’s important to be true to yourself and this technique can help you protect yourself from unhealthy relationships. It’s important to avoid relationships where you find yourself having to change who you are and having to watch what you say or do.  A healthy relationship is one where you can easily express your true feelings and relate with someone.

Another way to remove negative energy in relationships is through the use of a crystal. Crystals is a common cure for bad chi because it breaks up the negative energy and produces light.  Crystals can be hung in the north east corner of your living space, which defines the personal relationship area, to bring harmony in any of your relationships. Another way to bring harmony into your living quarters is to make sure your furniture in the living room and bedroom has soft, round edges rather than pointed ones. Also choose soothing colors and light candles to ensure the flow of energy throughout the house.

Also, take a look at your living space and see if there are items throughout that are from past relationships. Items like photos, clothing and other mementos can trap old, negative energy in your life. The stronger that energy is, the harder it will be for you to make connections with new people. If seeking a new connection is something you want, one way to make your life reflect that is to make room literally for someone new by allowing empty space in drawers and shelves.

Feng Shui problems can lead to arguments and miscommunication in any professional and personal relationship as well as make it harder to connect with people so keep these tips in mind next time you are conversing with a co-worker, family member or significant other.

About the author:

Yvonne Phillips is a National Feng Shui Practitioner, Author and Speakerwith over 18 years of experience. Yvonne is certified with Feng ShuiInstitute International and has trained with world famous Feng ShuiMaster Lillian Too. As owner of Creative Color & Design, she incorporates Feng Shui principles into both residences and businesses, from small businesses to large corporations. Please visit for more information.