Posts Tagged ‘stop’

Strong Arming by Silencing You

Sunday, November 5th, 2017

No ContactIf you are in a relationship with a partner who practices strong arming you are familiar with words that block you from speaking your truth. Having a conversation that confronts or questions is usually met with blocks such as:

We’re not going to talk about this.

OR

I’ve told you I don’t want to talk about this.

OR

Don’t talk to me about this.

OR

If you continue to talk about this or if you don’t stop talking about this–there’s the door.

etc. etc.

You may think you are obligated to keep silent.

You might decide that having your truth heard is not worth the fallout and choose to keep your thoughts to yourself.

However, by silencing your truth you squelch who you are as a human being.

You miss out on being who you are meant to be.

No one has the right to take YOU out of the picture.

No one has the right to tell you what you can and can’t talk about.

No one has the right to tell you that what you have to say means nothing and is better left unsaid.

But every time you allow another person to silence your words you are allowing another person to take away your freedom to be you.

Strong arming is a tactic used by abusers and is used to gain and retain power.

You don’t have to live life being strong armed.

The only person stopping you from breaking the pattern is YOU.

You only have one life. Make it your own.

As always if you are in a situation in which you are not safe seek help.

1-800-799-7233 Domestic Abuse Hotline

So Stop Waiting

Saturday, October 8th, 2016

So stop waiting until you finish school,
until you go back to school,
until you lose ten pounds,
until you gain ten pounds,
until you have kids,
until your kids leave the house,
until you start work,
until you retire,
until you get married,
until you get divorced,
until Friday night,
until Sunday morning,
until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off,
until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter,
until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth,
until your song comes on,
until you’ve had a drink,
until you’ve sobered up,
until you die,
until you are born again
to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy…

Author Unknown

Stop Waiting

Sunday, August 10th, 2014

The best advice for people who can’t seem to end an unsatisfying relationship might be to stop waiting for something from the other person.

Probably what it is will never come.

Thomas Moore

No Contact

Stop Short

Saturday, February 8th, 2014

Have you ever decided to stop short?

Years ago I remember talking with a dear friend who told me about her time in college.

She was a good student and loved her major which was teacher education.

She told me about how she studied hard but in the end decided not to finish her degree.

She was three credit hours shy of finishing and decided not to continue.

She stopped short.

At first when she told me I thought, all that work not to see it through to completion…

She guessed what I was thinking and told me she was okay with the decision as she knew at the time it was the right thing to do and was at peace with it.

We all stop short sometimes.

Like when you’re in a conversation with a friend and planned on saying something, were on the verge of saying it but didn’t.

You think better of it. Decide that either the timing is off or think what you were going to say is better left unsaid.

I’ve done it.

Or when you’re headed out the door to a particular destination and decide not to go.

Done it.

Or when you apply for a job, want the job, need the job, get the job but decide not to take it.

Done it.

Or when you apply to get into a degree program, work like a dog to pull together the application materials, turn it all in and are accepted into the program but then withdraw.

I’ve done that too…

Green light decisions that turn red.

There’s a reason we stop short.

Clarity we either didn’t see in the first place or didn’t acknowledge until after the fact.

Maybe we thought it would be cool to do or have whatever we decided on but don’t think about whether or not we can actually live with taking the action.

Some decisions are huge and effect us the rest of our lives–like marriage.  Couples decide to get married even though they’re either not ready or not at all sure about one another. Only after they’ve walked down the aisle and the excitement has died down do they see the decision was a mistake.

We have to get past yes to see no.

We have to be on the yes side of the decision and try it on for size to fully see if it is the right thing to do. And if it’s not, we’ve got to trust our instincts and put on the brakes and/or pull out.

Sometimes it’s the right thing to do.

No Contact

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Happiness Stop

Thursday, January 9th, 2014

Don’t get on the bus and ride along until you’re happiness stop comes up.

Happy is here. It’s all around. If you wait for a certain happy and it doesn’t come you will miss the happy that’s right in front of you.

 

Nothing Can Stop…

Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.

Thomas Jefferson

Waiting for Something?

Thursday, September 26th, 2013

The best advice for people who can’t seem to end an unsatisfying relationship might be to stop waiting for something from the other person.

Probably what it is will never come.

Thomas Moore

No Contact