Posts Tagged ‘self respect’

Pivotal Moments in Destructive Relationships

Sunday, May 27th, 2012

When you think about the pivotal moments in life the big ones come up first—graduating from high school, getting into college, graduating from college, getting the first job, meeting your life partner, marriage, buying a home, having children.

Those are definitely big moments but there are others happening daily which lead us toward or away from who we are as people. We can choose a path that leads us in a direction where although not perfect, we feel good about. It’s a place with people, choices, daily life, events, and opportunities that are in line with our values. Movement on this path may take on a two steps forward one step back characteristic. Instant gratification isn’t typically part of the landscape but when followed this path usually produces satisfying results.

We also have the option of a path which is more exploratory and quite different from what we’ve experienced. This is a tricky path to navigate because on one hand it is unfamiliar, on the other it is exciting interesting and fun. It can even feel like we’ve hit the jackpot and can’t believe our good fortune.

Relationships we develop down this lesser known path initially seem good. They start quickly and appear to be all we could hope for.  Yet after a little time we discover things we may have overlooked at the onset. We may experience a sinking feeling thinking we’re not good enough or exciting enough for a new partner who is suddenly restless. We don’t know what we did or didn’t do to get to this point but we’re scrambling to figure out what we can do to make things right. We might observe questionable behavior–like ranting or off the wall rudeness toward us or others. Decisions are made which don’t make sense.

When we question circumstances in these relationships we’re doing something good—we’re recognizing pivotal moments and it’s up to us to figure out what we’re going to do with the information we’ve been handed. Do we ignore it or do we take action by asking questions, listening, stating our feelings, and if necessary, leaving.

If you aren’t sure about a current relationship think about the following:

Question why you feel uneasy

Decide if you are willing to compromise your values to meet those of your partner.

Determine whether or not you can continue to live with the situation and the person. If you know you can’t let them know and exit.

Recognize if you’re saying you’re okay with things as they are but know deep down you’re not. It is not wise to accept the unacceptable to keep a relationship going.

Give yourself credit for knowing when a relationship is and  isn’t right for you.

 

Sunday, August 1st, 2010

Act Like a Lady; think like a man….http://bit.ly/cyPqEh

Imperfection

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

Now that I have grasped the art of  imperfection and it’s importance in living a great life, everything else will fall into place.

Expect Respect

Saturday, April 3rd, 2010

Sometimes we gravitate toward those who treat us the worst because we don’t think we deserve better. If this is the case for you, the only way to realize you deserve to be treated well is to retrain yourself to expect respect.