Posts Tagged ‘self love’

Take More Time to Pay Attention in Conversations with Others

Friday, February 8th, 2013

If we take more time to pay attention to our thoughts when in conversations with others we’re less likely to have conversations with abusers and in turn develop relationships with them. If a small voice inside you warns you, listen to the warning.

Celebrate Small Steps

Thursday, February 7th, 2013

Celebrate and focus on the small steps you take each day as you move forward. Minimize the setbacks.

Support

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who love and support you.

Getting Burned & Life Lessons

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

One time when my oldest son was two I was standing at the kitchen stove just starting dinner.  I turned the front burner on. My son came up to the stove and I told him “Hot don’t touch, it will hurt. No!”

He looked at me and said “Hot!”

I said “That’s right, hot!”

He looked at the burner then looked at me, looked at the burner, then looked at me again.  With no warning what-so-ever he firmly placed his hand right on it! In the same instant came his blood curdling scream and me picking him up. I dashed out of the kitchen him in my arms to take care of the burn repeating, “Hot, hot, I told you hot!”

Well, I may have told him hot but he didn’t understand hot until he felt hot on his hand! He definitely learned about hot after that incident. Fortunately the stove burner wasn’t on high or even medium heat but it was hot enough to burn his hand and as a result he never touched a stove burner again.

Lesson learned. Stove burners are hot. Place your hand on one and you’ll get burned.

For me, there have been situations in my life where it took more than one experience to learn a lesson. There have been times when despite red flags, warnings, and incidents where it was clear I needed to pay attention, I repeatedly didn’t learn.  Instead I wished and hoped and prayed things would work out.  I often ignored my gut instincts opting to second guess myself instead. So it went like this:

Lesson not learned. Repeat lesson.

Lesson not learned. Repeat lesson again…

I would rather confidently say, I know what is best for me

than after the fact say…

I was afraid that would happen!

Or

I’m not comfortable with that

rather than…

Oh, I guess it will be okay.

When we think about what we want, we really do know.

And if we really are unsure in a given situation then what we’re really saying is no.

How many times does it take to learn one life lesson?

As many times as we allow it to take.

There are some lessons we don’t want to repeat more than once because these lessons take a toll on us.

So the next time you come into contact with a hot burner and you’ve already felt the pain pay attention to the voice that tells you to turn your back and walk away.

 

Reprogram Your Self Talk

Saturday, September 29th, 2012

It is very easy to allow yourself to believe that life will not get better and that you do not have what it takes to move forward successfully in relationships, career, or in any other way.

Being in destructive relationships includes the one you’re in with yourself. When you have been put down, badgered, belittled, ignored, or physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually abused, it is easy to believe that you cannot do anything right or are not as good as others.

It is easy to think this way because at some point in your life or maybe throughout life you have listened to others who have told you that you are some how defective or are missing something and because of this will always  fail.

If whatever you believe, whatever recording you play over and over in your mind is negative, that noise can be deafening.  Silence the noise by playing a new recording–one that is positive uplifting and accurate. Memorize this recording and play it loud. Write it out and stick it to a wall where you will see it every day.

Start playing the new recording today. Play it over and over until you believe it. When the old negative recording starts to creep back into your thoughts focus on drowning it out with the new vibrant positive one.

Instead of being your own worst enemy concentrate on being your best friend.

Courage to say NO!

Monday, August 27th, 2012

We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.   Barbara De Angelis

For Every Failure…

Thursday, July 12th, 2012

For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.  –Mary Kay Ash

Keep Your Doubt to Yourself

Sunday, July 8th, 2012

Do you doubt yourself? You’re better than you think and know more than you give yourself credit for. Most of us think we are missing information that will give us the edge. What we’re really missing is belief that what we know is enough. We give ourselves an advantage by staying focused on our own goals.

When we look away and stare at what someone else is doing we begin to doubt ourselves. When focus is needed doubt is the enemy. We may question what we’re doing and may become discouraged but don’t market your doubt for others to see and hear.

Being Where You’re Supposed to be and Knocking on Doors

Friday, May 18th, 2012

Have you ever wondered if where you are is where you should be?

I mean, we can wonder about everything we do and the decisions we make as it relates to us and the truth is we’ll probably never know for sure if we’ve got it all exactly right. So if we weren’t where we are now, where else would we be? What would we do? Who would be in our lives? What would life look like?

We all have times when we question our direction. Yet if we are spiritual (and that is certainly different for everyone) have faith in that spirituality and are moving forward by living life in a way we feel good about, we’re most definitely on a positive path.

If I were homeless, with no means of support, no friends or family near by—I would have serious doubts about whether or not I was in the right place. In fact I’d make a point of doing whatever I could to change my situation by coming up with a plan and working on it daily.

There have been times in my life when I’ve faced setbacks and have struggled economically, emotionally, and spiritually. Each time has been frustrating primarily because I didn’t know for sure if the smart move was to stay on my current path or choose a different one.

Sometimes we are fearful or uncertain no matter what we do. The goal at this point is to move forward every single day by gathering information setting goals and eventually getting our nerve up to knock on a few doors. We might get to the first one and it slams in our face. That’s okay, we just try another one. If we get the same result we continue to try again and again and again.

Some decide it’s too discouraging so abandon knocking on any more doors. Others keep trudging on. Not giving up is the American way, right? Sure staying the course despite rejection builds character yet at some point it’s a good idea to step back and consider whether it’s possible we’re trying to open the wrong doors. (more…)

Stinking Thinking, Rules for Being Human, & Risking

Thursday, May 17th, 2012

I was looking through some of my online favorites and ran across this website. I think there is some interesting reading here, I hope you agree.

http://joy2meu.com/column.htm