Posts Tagged ‘sad’

Second Guessing the Gut

Sunday, June 11th, 2017

Second guessing the gut is a dicey proposition.

Your instincts are all you really have to direct you toward making strong decisions that benefit you and keep you safe.

The conscious mind is not very good at helping us decide what is best for us where the subconscious mind goes deeper.

When we get the feeling that something just doesn’t add up–that’s our subconscious talking to us. A stab in the gut or a warm suffocating feeling in one part of the body is our inner being talking to us and we really have got to pay attention to that.

When you ignore the small voice inside you more often than not it will eventually start screaming at you. The sooner you start paying attention to it the sooner you’re inner self settles down and breathes a sigh of relief.

Your instincts tell you all you need to know you just need trust.No Contact

Find Peace Within

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

There are times when life as we know it seems to crumble all around us. During these times we are searching, fearing, and not really knowing what the right thing to do truly is. Take a deep breath let it out and
Find peace within.

When you feel others don’t understand misunderstand or seem altogether indifferent toward you, remember the value you have and
Find peace within.

If you have a project you know needs to get done but you are too tired or too anxious or you know you don’t have it in you to give it what it needs right now don’t beat yourself up but instead take a break as it will still be around later and
Find peace within.

When you find yourself way too critical of the way you look, your intelligence, your abilities, or in some other way feel inadequate and don’t measure up, give yourself a long strong hug, accept the gifts you bring to the table and
Find peace within.

When you fear the worst will happen no matter what that worst is, avoid panic, seek counsel, take a deep breath, let it out, pull together all the strength you can muster and
Find peace within.

When you are not invited
When you are turned down
When you are left alone
When you are forgotten
Or when you are ignored
Remember that you have a powerful presence deep within yourself. There is great peace within you and you alone create it. No one can take that from you.

Take pride in you as you are special despite whatever circumstances you face and that surround you.

Remember the peace that lies within you.
Blessings to you.
Find peace within you.

It is the most precious gift you can give
to you.

No Contact

To Second Guess

Wednesday, October 12th, 2016

You’ve decided on a goal, something you want to do or be. You’re excited and have done your due diligence and are confident enough to move forward. Then something happens, you become discouraged and start to second guess yourself.

It could be something small like a look or gesture from someone else. It could be a little bigger like another person telling you your idea won’t work or that there are too many others who have tried and failed. It could be something bigger like a test failure or failure to get a job interview.

It could be something much bigger like a financial setback or denial of a loan or rejected by a school program or employer.

It could be anything.

Just because you have a setback doesn’t mean your original plan was fraught with errors and it definitely doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means that following the path you’ve chosen is challenging and hard work.

Now is where it gets interesting. It’s time to buckle down and problem solve. There are ways to solve the problem that is currently standing in your way. Think of at least five ways to solve it. Map it out. Talk it out. Get the opinion of someone you trust who won’t discourage you.

Don’t give up!

No Contact

Cut-Offs

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

This blog was started as it related to the book No Contact: Ending a Destructive Relationship. The relationship which ends is abusive/destructive to the person wanting to eliminate contact or if that is not possible, to restrict contact as much as possible.

Another way contact can end a relationship is as is described in the article written by Esther Kane, MSW, RSW, Registered Clinical Counselor. In this article the author describes the end of a familial relationship through a cut-off. She says people who have gone through this are as bewildered as they are devastated.

Below is a link to the article that was written in 2011 with some thoughts about family who have been cut-off by other family members. According to Kane, it is a pretty common phenomenon especially after the holidays.

http://bit.ly/1mmc9hB

No Contact

Alone for the Holidays

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

Alone for the holidays is doable and in some cases a good alternative.Going through a divorce, kids with the ex, no family around, put a positive spin on this opportunity to take care of yourself.

The biggest battle we face this time of year is with the media.
Newspapers, radio, tv, internet…the holidays are pretty hard to miss.

The media works to convince us that alone is downright ridiculous during the holidays and is in no way a desirable alternative.

But that’s not true.

If your situation is one in which it is likely that you will spend time alone you can wallow in pity or pull yourself up by your bootstraps and enjoy the time you have to yourself.

It’s a matter of perspective.

If you’re a TV watcher and don’t want to stop watching, turn down the sound when the Hallmark moments come on.

Those commercials can pluck away at your heartstrings and cause you to feel miserable. Turn them off or silence them.

A great alternative is Netflix or dvd’s.

If possible go out and see the lights. You might think this is counterproductive but it’s actually fun and gets you up and doing something. But if it’s not your cup of tea…

Make a meal, a good one but maybe not the Christmas type. Use your imagination.

Take a trip, nearby or distant.

Take a luxurious bubble bath.

Give yourself a manicure.

Watch non holiday movies or holiday movies that are hilarious such as Christmas Vacation.

I’ve spent holidays alone and made a point of planning ahead as to how I was going to treat myself and looked forward to it.

We have the power to make or break each day we’re given no matter when it is. This time of year is no exception. No Contact

Sitting Ducks

Monday, September 7th, 2015

If you’re a sitting duck you might know it

but you might not.

If you don’t know it hopefully someone else out

there is advocating for you or soon will be.

You’re vulnerable, out in the open, and fairly helpless

in your current position.

Sitting ducks need advocates.

Sitting ducks need to pay attention.

Lack of financial support, food, housing, and a support

network can make you a sitting duck.

Being in relationships with unavailable people can do

it to you also.

Please read:

http://bit.ly/1QkJYd0

No Contact

 

 

 

 

 

On Being Stood Up

Saturday, February 21st, 2015

Have you ever been stood up for a date, event, or social gathering you planned with one or more people? Are you an employer who has been stood up by a job interviewee? How did you feel about it?

Ask yourself this: if the shoe were on the other foot would you be a no show? If you would, then most likely you don’t mind when others do the same to you. If on the other hand, you’re not cool with planning, preparing, anticipating and then waiting for one or more who don’t come through, you’ll feel the disappointment and frustration in your gut.

Being stood up by a friend, date, partner, spouse, etc.¬† should happen exactly once. How long does it take to make a quick call to let someone know you can’t make it? My guess is the call could take as little as thirty seconds.

If you easily forgive or dismiss it when you’re stood up a first time you’re nearly guaranteed it will happen again.

We teach people how to treat us. If we consistently overlook poor treatment by others, they do take notice. It would be nice if everyone we meet and develop friendships and relationships with treated us fairly all the time but the truth is, people will fail us; that’s the way life is.

To minimize the chances of being stood up more than once, acknowledge it for what it is–don’t let it slide. Let the other person know you don’t like it and will not tolerate it. Many of us overlook too often and when we shouldn’t. We get used to accommodating the needs of others and would rather keep the peace at any price than risk losing a connection with another person.

Does this mean we are forced to become rigid and unforgiving. NO! It means we show others who we are and how we want to be treated.

Get used to asking for what you want.

Get used to showing others who you are.

Expect respect.

No Contact

Try the Lighter Side

Monday, September 22nd, 2014

It’s difficult¬† to smile when you really just want to cry but it helps heal your heart and mind if you do. Turning a tear into a smile can lift you and keep your spirit from breaking.

As hard as it is, if you are blue and down, find something to do that brings you joy. Read a book, watch a tv show you know makes you smile, call a friend, go to a movie, or play with your pet.¬† Remember that your child who loves you can’t wait to see your smile.

After you have a setback, suffer a loss, or receive bad news, do your best to allow time to pull through to the lighter side; let it happen.

No Contact

Steps to take When Going Through Divorce

Sunday, August 24th, 2014

There are six traits that will keep the odds in your favor as you go through divorce. Please read:

http://linkd.in/zP9Y5n

No Contact

 

Our Biggest Battles

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

Our biggest battles are the ones we wage with ourselves.

We become frustrated, depressed, sad, and angry because of mistakes we’ve made

or ways in which we feel we’ve said or done the wrong things.

It’s much easier for us to forgive the actions of others or at the very least understand

the reasoning for what was said or done by someone else.

We downplay our accomplishments and wonder why no matter what we do or say it is

never enough.

We MUST celebrate our accomplishments no matter how small WE think they are.

If we don’t acknowledge the steps we take in life we will not see the value of what we do

and neither will anyone else.

Celebrate for yourself.

Acknowledgement is powerful.

We are here a short time and the more we celebrate

the sweeter the journey.

Stand up for yourself always. Wage battle only when necessary.

Be kind–especially kind to you.

No Contact