Posts Tagged ‘quick’

Give to Ourselves First

Friday, May 18th, 2018

No ContactThose of us who keep looking to the outside for our happiness and well being are always going to find disappointment and likely even abuse in our love relationships because there is no living person who can give to us what we must give to ourselves first.

Another person can be supportive of who we are and stand beside us but if we do not stand up for us first why would another person? We will get exactly the type of relationship partner that we are ready to receive and if what we’re ready for is someone who is always looking for someone outside themselves to fill and make them whole we will be a match with that person because we are looking for the same thing.

If we get involved in love relationships too quickly before we truly know the person we are setting up the end of the relationship right from the beginning. Abusers like quick starts as they are not patient people. They want what they want when they want it and they let you know quickly that they are running the show. If you fear confronting this opposition and keep quiet when you should be speaking up you are choosing to maintain the relationship rather than speaking your truth. The difficult conversations are vital to your health and well being.

So ask yourself, who is running the show? You must choose you! In the face of abuse what else are you going to do?

If you want to be in charge of your life and have loving relationships with people who also love themselves you must change the way you view relationships and yourself. There is no other way.

There are resources to help you. Follow this link to a resource where you may just find the help you

As always, you must be safe. If you are living in a destructive relationship do what you can for yourself while still in your current living situation.

A Quick Take on Self Improvement

Friday, August 1st, 2014

I recently received a comment from a reader who was looking for information about how to improve her self–quickly.

I don’t know if it’s truly possible to quickly improve how you view yourself but I do believe it’s possible to begin the improvement immediately.

The way we view who we are largely depends on the way we think about ourselves. For example, if I want to be a great cook I can begin right away to affirm to myself and to the world that I’m a great cook. I can think it, I can write it down, and I can post little notes all over my house telling me what a great cook I am. I can also tell whoever will listen just how great I am in the kitchen and if I set my mind to it, I might start to believe it.

But most likely, the positive regards I have for my cooking won’t last if deep down, I don’t believe–truly believe I’m a great cook. I can say the words and write them down but my self- doubt will eventually override all my verbal and written messages if I don’t believe it.

So then what do I do if I want to be a great cook quickly? There’s really only one way. I’ve got to take action and lots of it. I need to study recipes and make dishes that look and taste delicious. I’ve also got to share the food I prepare with friends and family so that other people can judge for themselves how well I’m doing.

And little by little with each success and failure I get better and gain confidence in my ability to cook.

I won’t become great overnight but I will begin to believe in my ability to become great and when I combine that with action I’ve got an excellent chance of achieving my goal.

I believe it works the same with the way we view ourselves as people. If you want to feel better about yourself–treat yourself better.

Respect your mind, body, and spirit by taking more time to listen to your inner thinking. Don’t discount what you think just because it’s different than what someone else thinks.

If you have a goal, believe in your ability to achieve that goal not just in the beginning when you first make up your mind but also down the road when things get much harder. Get information, ask questions, step outside your comfort zone because when you do this you are taking action and moving toward your goal. And above everything else, make sure you have verbalized to yourself and written down exactly what your expectations are in terms of your change.

If you don’t know exactly what you want to change–you won’t.

So if you decide you want to be a better employee, a stronger parent, a more considerate spouse, a smarter decision maker–whatever the goal is own it by writing it down and verbalizing it.

And when you face obstacles don’t decide to throw in the towel because it becomes too hard. Face the obstacles because overcoming them puts you closer to reaching your goal.

So is it possible to improve yourself quickly?

Can you change yourself in seven days or less?

Not completely.

But you can absolutely decide to improve you right away.

And from the moment you decide to, you will change if you’re committed to making that change. Each day you will see yourself a little different and when you see yourself slip–you’ll catch yourself and remember your goal.

It won’t be painless but it will become more natural because each day you are making small adjustments that move you toward the person you want to be.


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Great Ideas

Monday, September 16th, 2013

Great ideas will come to you–write them down immediately.

Sometimes one great idea hits you like a lightening bolt–you can’t ignore it.

Other timesĀ  you get a surge of ideas in rapid fire succession.

Write these down because it’s a guarantee they’ll disappear if you don’t keep tabs on them.

The brain moves freely when you are alert and relaxed quickly moving from one great idea to the next.

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