Posts Tagged ‘positive words’

For Every Failure…

Thursday, July 12th, 2012

For every failure, there’s an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.  –Mary Kay Ash

Say What You Think

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

In a new relationship it can be tough to be upfront with views and opinions if they’re different from that of a new person. The first thought might be to stay neutral. There’s no reason to come off as harsh in any way but don’t be afraid to say what you think either. I once met a man who was a serious motorcycle rider. He told me he didn’t ride much in the winter but spent a lot of time riding during the summer. He asked me what I thought about motorcycles. At the time I remember thinking–I could tell him I love them but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Instead I told him it depends on the rider because motorcycle safety is an issue for me.

I didn’t hear from him again. He most likely felt I wasn’t going to share his enthusiasm for bikes and riding was important to him.

Be honest with people and tell them what you think. It isn’t always pleasant but it doesn’t have to be awkward either. You’ll feel more confident when you tell people how you feel because you’re letting them know who you are. Being authentic is a wise thing to do. You won’t have the same interests as every potential partner you meet. Besides, having the exact same interests as a partner isn’t necessary; we’re all different! By being honest not only do you let people know who you are, you tell them what you like, and what you don’t which is a good idea.


Hit & Miss versus Conscious & Intentional

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

We are blessed to have the ability and freedom to make many choices in our daily lives. We decide what we’re going to do with each new day.

We also have the opportunity to make choices when it comes to dating. We might decide to meet new friends at a local club or other night spot. Maybe we take a class, learn to dance, or take part in sports activities in hopes of meeting new people. We can choose to search through online dating profiles and send a wink or drop a line. After all, we’re the choosers and we make choices!

Since we have the opportunity to make dating choices, how do we do it? Do we use a hit and miss selection process or do we make conscious and intentional choices? With hit and miss we may not dig too deep in our early screening process. We might be satisfied if the guy is attractive, charming, has sex appeal, and is employed. He might also have a great smile, is initially attentive, and seems witty and clever. We might think, okay—why not, let’s give it a shot! So we get involved quickly and two or three months down the road this man who was once hanging on our every word barely hears anything we say. He might even drop not so subtle hints he’s moving on by playing U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For when we’re within ear shot or maybe has disappeared altogether. Oh boy… (more…)

Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

Your current comfort zone might not be all that comfortable but it is familiar. How do you get outside it?

Do one thing different each day. It can be something simple like taking a different route to work, the store, to school—wherever you go daily. If you park in the same spot every day, try a different one. The next day change something else. Try a new cereal for breakfast or try a different place for lunch. If you pack a lunch or eat lunch at home choose something you’ve always wanted to try but still haven’t. If you usually eat lunch alone try eating with a friend occasionally.

Do you write in a journal? If not, why not start one? Each day write a sentence. When you feel ready expand to a second sentence and then another and keep adding to the number you write. Write your sentences about anything.

When you discipline yourself to think creatively about doing one thing differently each day you open up new possibilities.

Is there anything you’ve been mulling over? Why not take the next step in the process? Get more information, make a phone call, request information. Take an action.

Say for example, you want to buy a new camera. I mention a camera because I’ve had conversations with several women who have talked about how much they want to buy one but haven’t yet. I asked each of them why and they all said they’re afraid of choosing the wrong one. They also fear that even if they got the right one they wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use it.

So if you want to buy a new camera you could take these action steps:

1.) Go to an electronics store and view the selection.

2.) Find three brands your curious about.

3.) Investigate these brands. Ask the salesperson for information about each one. You might also check out each brand online or ask a trusted friend or relative what they think.

4.) Give yourself a deadline to make the purchase—a close deadline, preferably within 48 hours. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of buying something we want and have planned for.

5.) Once you’ve bought the camera practice using it over and over. If you have trouble understanding how to get started ask for help. Go back to the store for assistance or ask a technically savvy friend. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. There are often classes or tutorials online. The camera will likely come with instructions and a website or number to call for assistance.

There is always a learning curve when trying new things. It may take a day, week, month, or more but if you stick with it you will gain new knowledge and feel great about yourself as well as the new skill.

When it comes to developing skills as they relate to new relationships it’s the same way. Some of us have been out of touch socially and so can’t expect to just jump into social situations like a pro. Start slowly as you would with learning any new skill. Circulate. The more you incorporate new people and situations into your life the easier it will be.

Be patient with you no matter what change you want to make in your life. Do something small each day to build up to the change. Set target dates. Scan the newspaper, internet, and local community resources. If you find yourself faltering or putting what you want on the back burner—start again. What you need and want is attainable with conscious effort.

Too Old? No Way!

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

I often hear people say they’re too old. They feel they’re too old to go to school, learn a new skill, find a job, or be in a great relationship. About fifty per cent of the time, these people are younger than me so I think if you’re too old—what am I?

Why are people so insistent on putting themselves out to pasture when they’ve still got life to live? I know of some elderly people who are older—late eighties and nineties who don’t think this way. In fact, these people are energizing, inspiring, interested in life, busy, and productive! I’ve never heard “too old” come out of their mouths.

So why are some younger people too old while some older people are youthful? Maybe it has to do with fear. They could be afraid to try something new so use their age (I’ve heard “too old” from a thirty one year old) as an excuse to stay put.

Sure, there are things that have age limitations. Say you want to be an Olympic gymnast at age twenty five having never stepped foot in a gym. If that is your hope, you may need to come up with an alternative goal. However, aside from physical limits or age specific and other requirements for certain opportunities, there are options available to you; look for them.

As you already know, you’re not too old unless you think you are and if you think you are, no matter what your age might be, think again. If you desire a new path, seek information—explore your options.

If you seek a relationship and you feel you’re too old others will pick up on that mindset. Sure, there are men and women hung up on age. If you find one of these types, move past them. Your vitality wisdom and experience are desirable. Seek those who respect and appreciate you for who and where you are right now.

Forget self-limitations; why bother with them? Explore, create, seek, and find—just don’t give up! If a door closes, find another door. Your positive attitude is your ticket to success. People will pick up on the little things that slip into your conversations with them. If you believe you’re too old, others will too! You’re not done unless you think you are. Find out about, look into, explore, develop, create, and relate toward the life you want. Too old—never! It’s all in what you choose to believe.

Do not wait;

Sunday, July 18th, 2010

the time will never be just right. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Your key to freedom lies in your power to control your thoughts.    Unknown

Staying the Course

Monday, June 7th, 2010

The difficult is done at once, the impossible takes a little longer.   Slogan of the US Armed Forces


Friday, June 4th, 2010

Guard against taking constructive criticism as a personal attack. Healthy criticism helps us grow. Unhealthy criticism on an ongoing basis is debilitating. If you find yourself on the receiving end of ongoing unhealthy criticism you are under attack and need to end it.

Cowboy Truism

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging — cowboy truisms