Posts Tagged ‘places’

Know Where You Are Going

Wednesday, January 11th, 2017

You can’t know where you are going if you don’t know where you are.

I’m sure you’re saying….yeah, and tell me something I don’t know.

Seriously, people can be physically at a place in life and have no idea how or why they are there.

Sometimes we might feel that forces beyond our control place us in certain locations at certain times and to some extent that is true.

But to move forward we have to have an understanding of where we are in the present otherwise we will move forward impulsively instead of strategically.

Going on a whim and a prayer is risky.

Know where you want to go based on a plan.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing now.

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been.

Your age doesn’t matter unless you are not well and/or have a disabling condition that forces you to look at your safety as it relates to your health.

Think through any major change you want to make because it will change your life and the results might not be what you thought they would be. If you plan ahead you will be better prepared.

Think about where you are now. Take inventory. Evaluate. Note the good and the bad and what you would like to see happen in your future.

There is no one who knows your circumstances as well as you do. Believe that and plan accordingly.

No Contact

Choosers Don’t Want Babysitters

Tuesday, October 7th, 2014

I remember reading an online dating profile awhile back. The man said he was looking for a woman he didn’t have to baby-sit. He said the last woman he dated expected him to plan all their activities and pay for them. His take  was that all she had to do was show up. After reading what he wrote I thought, well, sure I’d want a dating partner who shared in the dating experience but then again I had to wonder what that particular woman’s view of dating this man would be.

Sometimes people we date want to make the plans. They want to pick the activity, place, time etc. They feel comfortable in the role of the planner. It could be that by doing so they don’t run as great a risk of the date being a flop. They are planning something they know they actually want to do. Women who spend time with male date planners might feel as if their suggestions fall on deaf ears. Maybe they think that since he asks them out it’s up to him to provide the itinerary. I can see where in some instances the man may feel as if he’s taking on the role of a babysitter but at the same time it’s easy to see why the woman settles into the role of a child. She wants to spend time with the man and knows it’s important to him to take part in activities he enjoys. Maybe she started out with great ideas and offered up a few suggestions only to have her ideas receive a lukewarm reception or worse yet, dismissed altogether. Maybe she thinks–if I want to keep seeing him I guess I’ll let him call the shots.

So the man gets frustrated and feels he’s being used. He figures there’s another partner out there who will help him out in the dating process so goes searching for another match. The woman he left is bewildered because she thought she was doing what he wanted by letting him make the plans.

Why do we lean toward giving control of our dating experiences to dating partners? Do we settle into this mode out of habit? Do men really want to make the plans or do they just  feel obligated to do so?

We’ve got to recondition the condition of our dating experiences. If we’re choosing who we date then we should also be fully participating when it comes to selecting the things we do on a date. How does another person get to know us if we let them do all the choosing for us? We learn a ton about their interests and level of competency in certain activities but we’ve got interests and competencies too; why not share them? If we feel shut down when offering up suggestions to a particular dating partner do we really want to date them? The dating relationship can only go so far if only one person is the chooser.

No Contact