Posts Tagged ‘peace’

Leaving things Undone

Wednesday, March 1st, 2017

I have a terrible time leaving things undone! I am learning to get a grip on walking away from what is not finished but it’s definitely a process.

You and I must leave things undone at the end of the day for peace and sanity.

Unless there is a specific deadline for a particular project it is our duty to ourselves and the significant people in our lives to walk away from the work.

The work will ALWAYS be there tomorrow!

No Contact

Find Peace Within

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

There are times when life as we know it seems to crumble all around us. During these times we are searching, fearing, and not really knowing what the right thing to do is. Take a deep breath let it out and
Find peace within.

When you feel others don’t understand misunderstand or seem altogether indifferent toward you, remember the value you have and
Find peace within.

If you have a project you know needs to get done but you are too tired or too anxious or you know you don’t have it in you to give it what it needs right now don’t beat yourself up but instead take a break as it will still be around later and
Find peace within.

When you find yourself way too critical of the way you look, your intelligence, your abilities, or in some other way feel inadequate and don’t measure up, give yourself a long strong hug, accept the gifts you bring to the table and
Find peace within.

When you fear the worst will happen no matter what that worst is, avoid panic, seek counsel, take a deep breath, let it out, pull together all the strength you can muster and
Find peace within.

When you are not invited
When you are turned down
When you are left alone
When you are forgotten
Or when you are ignored

Remember that you have a powerful presence deep within yourself. There is great peace within you and you alone create it. No one can take that from you.

Take pride in you as you are special despite whatever circumstances you face and that surround you.

Remember the peace that lies within you. It is the most precious gift you can give
to you.

No Contact

Crying Over Men

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

I used to spend a lot of time crying over men. I didn’t know the first thing about self soothing. I cried when I thought I’d done or said the wrong thing. Or he said or did something I felt wounded by. Or the relationship hit a bump or more than a bump and had fallen into a deep dark hole and was over. With these relationship upsets I did the two things I knew how to do:  become anxious and cry.

I didn’t know how to calm my emotions without stirring them up into a frenzy first. I wasn’t aware that accepting my life even if it wasn’t what I wanted was healthier for me.

I have a vivid recollection of one of the last times I cried my head off over a man. Years ago, I sat in my car in a day use parking lot. The rain was pouring down on the car roof while I sat inside crying my eyes out. It was pathetic and deep down I knew it. I also knew that all the crying was hurting me far more than it was helping. The only benefit was that after crying enough I usually felt exhausted and slept but when I woke up I was right back to the misery.

I wasn’t a drinker, didn’t take drugs, gamble, or have any of the usual addictive behaviors but was addicted nonetheless–addicted to suffering over relationships. I got enough out of bawling my head off that on a very basic level it worked. I got to feel self pity and relief when I’d finally cried myself out.  Yet crying isn’t a problem solving tactic in adulthood and it’s certainly not self soothing. It’s a reflex for infants but when it comes to adult relationships it’s a strong indicator of love addiction.

As adults we’re suppose to know that just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re going to get it or that just because we feel we’re deserving of a certain way of life, we’re going to have it in the here and now.

So even though it’s natural to shed some tears after the loss of a relationship make a point of doing special things for yourself in those early weeks in order to avoid  sobbing uncontrollably and/or making yourself an emotional wreck.

Ways to Self Soothe

Listen to beautiful and soothing music.

Have a special treat or meal-something you absolutely love. Eat it slowly savoring each bite.

Find a comedy to watch–something without romance.

Drink a warm drink like herbal tea.

Take a walk in a pretty area or go to a museum. Buy a bouquet of flowers and put where you’ll see them.

Take a bubble bath.

Play with your dog or cat.

Put on a soft shirt or sink into a comfortable chair or bed.

Take a bubble bath.

Take in the smells around you–fry some bacon, bake bread, cookies, a cake. Smell coffee brewing. Light a scented candle.

Get a massage.

If you look at relationship loss or single status as being part of your current life circumstances and guard against projecting what you wished you had you’ll be more accepting of your life in the here and now.

No Contact


Sunday, December 16th, 2012

Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.

Oscar Wilde

Walking Away from Something…

Friday, June 8th, 2012

Anytime I am looking to somebody else as my source, I’m coming from scarcity. I am no longer trusting God or the universe, for my harvest. It’s reasonable for me to have expectations based on what somebody I trusted has committed to. And it’s natural for me to feel disappointed when that somebody doesn’t come through. But when I feel more than disappointment, when I also feel anger, it’s because I deviated from my truth. It’s because I compromised my truth to get what somebody else promised. Because when I am really following my truth, I will be at peace with the consequences–whatever they are. I can accept somebody else’s truth,but I must live with my own truth. And sometimes that means walking away from a relationship.

Jan Denise