Posts Tagged ‘off’

Alternate Reality Living

Saturday, July 29th, 2017

When experiencing alternate reality living you most likely already know something feels off.

You may be trying to make someone else’s reality your own but if you have to try that hard it is unnerving, exhausting, and puts you smack dab in the middle of the wrong place.

Alternate realities come from being enmeshed and lost when in a relationship. We do this because we don’t have a clear view of the way our own reality should look or we are not committed to ourselves as the source for our life.

You have the ability to create your own reality which will in turn match you with others who are clear and confident in who they are and what their reality is. A person who is clear and confident in their own life will have the same expectation of you.

Say that you are with a heavy drinker but that’s not you? You are in a reality that is not a match for you.

Have you experienced a controller who calls all the shots and you find it’s just easier to keep the peace and go along with what they want rather than speak up and express your true wants desires and needs? This is another way we get sucked into the wrong reality…one that is not comfortable or compatible with who we are.

You have choices in either of the above situations but it will require that you speak up and say what it is you want. If you fear speaking up you already have your answer. You’re selling out so that you can continue to stay in a relationship that is not right for you.

Staying in relationships that cause stress and/or heartache are toxic for you and if you continue to stay it will effect you in more and more unhealthy ways as time goes on.

This kind of reality restricts your life. You must conform to the circumstances and learn to live with a heavy weight in your body and soul or do what is necessary to change the circumstances by standing up to your partner and telling them what you need and want and then taking action.

You have the tools to live a wonderful life with people in your life who are a match for you but you have to believe this to be true.
No Contact

Caught Off Guard

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact

 

Off Guard

Friday, November 27th, 2015

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact

 

Caught Off Guard

Monday, April 6th, 2015

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact