Posts Tagged ‘new’

On Being Your Own Best Friend

Sunday, June 5th, 2016

It is not possible to be your own best friend when old beliefs about yourself–I’m old, too fat, too skinny, unlucky, too weak, cowardly, stupid etc keep entering your mind. These are old ideas you’ve allowed to hang around. The only way to get rid of this stuff is to condition your brain to latch onto the truth about who you really are.

The negative is only there because you don’t fight hard enough to keep it away.

There have been times when in a new situation–like with a group of people at a networking event, where I tell myself all sorts of things–you wore the wrong thing, why did you say that, or why didn’t you say something…I’ve beat myself up to the point where I can’t wait to get out of the place.

There is no place you can be where being your own best friend won’t work in your favor. If you are some place –like a work meeting, employee gathering, networking or some place else where you feel little sense of comfort, be okay with just being in the moment and soaking it all in. There is nothing you have to do as long as you are present. Take it all in, observe, smile and then when it’s over be proud that you kept your poise and made it through!

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New Things At Any Stage

Tuesday, April 21st, 2015

Learning new things at any stage in life is not the hard part.

Adjusting to being a beginner is the part that’s sometimes hard to handle.

If you can come to grips with being brand new and going with it

you’ll find many opportunities available to you at any age.

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Relationship Links to Freedom

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014

Breaking free from a destructive relationship is never easy but once you’ve made the decision to leave there is likely a huge sense of relief.
By leaving a destructive partnership you’re creating possibility for new opportunities and positive connections to emerge. It’s not necessarily immediate but over time it’s possible to build great new relationships based on shared values interests and chemistry. All the connections you build with a variety of people will create links to your new life.
I found it difficult to break old links especially with my partner. I started and stopped quite a few times before I was finally able to see that as long as I held onto any connection with him, I wouldn’t be able to break free and move forward.
Creating new links can prove to be challenging especially if you’re not practiced at paying attention to what you’re mind and body tell you. I questioned my ability to know a good link from a bad one and was also pretty impatient. I wanted new connections to happen fast but it took much longer than I had anticipated it would. Eventually I discovered something else–new connections are much harder to make if I’m not fully immersed in my own life. I’ve got to be focused on what I’m doing, creating and building. If my only goal is to find a new relationship partner but ignore or don’t give enough time to other areas of my life, how good a partner will I be to another person?
Life is about living fully on a daily basis. It does no good to spend your time waiting for what you don’t have. It’s a much better plan to focus on the life you’ve got and be ready for opportunities as they arise.
If you’re like me and not too comfortable with uncertainty but instead desire predictability order and organization, think of your life as an adventure–where you’re open to what you’ve never had.
The greatest links to freedom come when we open ourselves up to something we’ve never experienced before. Maybe the ideal life we’ve conjured up in our minds holds us back and keeps us stuck. Say you’ve refused certain characteristics or geographic locations in partners–like you may only want tall with dark hair who live within a twenty mile radius.
You might think you’re options are limited in terms of careers when it’s very possible there are some you’ve never even considered that you’d do well with.What about you’re connections with others? Maybe you’ve limited your friendships to just a few because some others you’ve met just seem too different from you.
Why not give yourself the opportunity to open up, seek out, and expand your comfort zone?
Each of us has challenges when it comes to reaching out and finding links. Linking is important enough that we’ve got to find a way to overcome our limitations and seek out different, discover new, and get out of our own way.
There is a chance we may surprise ourselves and have the time of our lives in the process.

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When You Exit a Relationship Door Opens for A New One

Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Even though you leave a partner, when you exit the relationship there is a void to fill and it can take a long while to recover.  Whether the relationship was a healthy or destructive one the feeling of love for this person stays with you.

Over time the sorrow pain anger and frustration of having been in this relationship and having it end will soften. With the right attitude you will move forward with strong insight from having been part of it.

What determines growth is acceptance of the circumstances that led you to leave. You knew and still know that in order to live a healthy happy life you had to leave a person that you truly loved.

The victory is that you loved. Each of us who have been moved by love know that it leaves traces on the heart. Memories of love stay with us and long after the fire burns out marks are left as proof that loved existed. To deny that love existed keeps you in denial. Accepting that love was there helps you move forward.

Many times the end of one love prepares for a new healthier one;  a new door opens that may not have been available to you otherwise.

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New Partner Choices

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

The best choices for partners are people who are most like us. If we don’t have to alter our likes and dislikes to suit the whims of a new partner we are closer to being on the right track than if we alter our natural self to meet the expectations of someone new.


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New Habits

Friday, October 11th, 2013

It’s much easier to fall into old habits than to take the time to establish new ones. But once they’re established, they’re established. And then they replace and become as constant as the old ones.

–Geneen Roth

To Get New; Empty Old

Friday, September 27th, 2013

Life is full and overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter.

Eileen Caddy

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Taking a Leap of Faith

Saturday, December 29th, 2012

Asking the Right Questions

Monday, August 20th, 2012

I’ve recently started a new business venture and have come to the realization that there were questions I wish I would have asked earlier in the process–like before I signed on the dotted line…

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t want to ask the right questions because I definitely did. The problem was I didn’t know enough to ask all the questions I should have asked. I was in learning mode and in that mode information is attacking right and left. The challenge is to survive the attack, regroup, and ultimately digest enough to understand some of it.

During times such as starting a new business, new job, new relationship, or pretty much anything new there is always a learning curve. In the beginning we retain bits and pieces of what we need to know but don’t fully grasp the big picture. We want to feel like we can step into any situation, make a quick assessment and then “just know” exactly how to react or respond.

It would be nice if life worked like that but it doesn’t. We can’t just know what to do. It takes exposure practice and time in order to meet with enough experiences within the new situation to understand what is needed. The primary means to get the information we need is to ask questions, lots of them.

By asking questions, getting answers, and asking more questions we eventually get to a point where we can fill in the blanks as they come up. Details  begin to surface and those details often lead us to the RIGHT questions.

If you’re standing at the edge of a cliff and your friend tells you to jump you’re not likely to do so unless you’re certain you’ll survive.

Real life situations are not always that black and white but rather shades of gray. The questions we don’t ask can cost us; the questions we do ask can save us.

If you don’t understand everything you need to know in a new situation maintain a steady demeanor. Ask questions even those you might think are ridiculous or not worth asking–those are the very questions you should ask.

No matter where you are or what you’re dealing with in your life right now I’d be willing to bet you’ve got questions–questions that are lingering right beneath the surface–you may not even be aware a question exists but it’s there.

Don’t keep questions to yourself. If in the instant you think of a question pertaining to a particular situation but can’t ask it write it down. Add to a list of questions as they come to mind.

If you’re in a new work situation and you don’t feel comfortable asking a question of an immediate supervisor ask a lead worker, assistant, or knowledgeable co-worker. If you don’t think the questions you have are leading to the right information just keep asking. Those early questions will lead to others as you gain more information.

If in a new relationship and things don’t add up or something is bothersome but you can’t put your finger on it ask questions. As you get to know the person better your questions will lead to those that give you more clarity. If you’re not comfortable enough to ask questions decide if the relationship is the best one for you.