Posts Tagged ‘new job’

It’s Not Easy but You Can do It!

Saturday, March 9th, 2013

The damage caused by domestic violence is written on the faces of the victims. It’s presence can be heard in the tone of voice. The heavy burden  seen in the slumped shoulders, hanging head, or vacant eyes.

If it goes on long enough and is severe enough the spirit of the person can be broken.

Years of stress, despair, defeat and heartache play havoc on the mind. Following written instuctions, learning new job skills, or even reading a book for enjoyment can become challenging to the point of total frustration. The background chatter in your head distracts you during times when focus is what is needed.

For those who have been accustom to abuse since childhood it’s not much of a stretch to become involved in destructive relationships as adults. If experiencing a gentle touch, warm  smile, or soothing voice was the exception rather than the rule not having warm and healthy relationships will feel normal accepted and even expected in adulthood.

The great news is that there is hope for men and women who have been abused to step out into their own light. I have heard from people who don’t believe this is possible. They feel they are doomed to continue down the path they are on. If your thinking is along this line please know that you can change your direction and your situation. Dig down deep; you can find the strength.

It is not not easy and not quick but you can do it.

If you are in or coming out of a destructive relationship seek information through a variety of resources. Life can get better. Seek out individuals you trust such as a parent, friend, guardian, sibling, minister, neighbor, or another person. Call your local domestic abuse hotline or call the national hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. If you have decided to leave your situation remember that you must have a plan and if necessary contact local law enforcement.

Don’t settle for anything less than the best for you.





From a Place of Strength

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

When you come from a place of strength you can get through situations that make you nervous or highly anxious.  Think about how strong and capable you are when faced with fears you can’t run from. Center yourself in your place of strength. It will calm you down and keep you from panicking.

Anxious times drive us away from our midpoint. Push your way back there in order to maintain your distance from the edge.

Making Big Decisions During a Relationship Crisis

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

It’s not a good idea to make important decisions if you are in the middle of a relationship crisis. Your mindset likely won’t be in the right place and you may make a snap decision hoping that it will ease the discomfort you’re feeling. It’s a good idea to work through the crisis before:

Deciding to move

Buying a house

Taking a new job

Planning for a trip

Making a big purchase like a new car

Seeking comfort in other people

Ride out the storm as it is likely you’ll come to grips with the situation through communication and will be able to solve the problem.

Workplace Spoilers

Friday, September 24th, 2010

As I was driving home the other night I realized I’m lucky because my working life is relatively free of discord. Sure there are occasional misunderstandings or confusion about something said or done but overall I feel pretty good about my workplace and co-workers.

It hasn’t always been this way. I can remember one time when I started a new job and wasn’t well received. I wasn’t sure why but there were glances in my direction when I walked by and low level conversations that ended when I walked in the room. I kept thinking, “Am I going to make it here??” My first weeks in that job were definitely not pleasant. At times I felt like throwing a bag over my head or just giving up and finding my way to the nearest exit.

Before I started that job I had applied for a life insurance policy. One evening shortly after my hiring, a company sales rep. came to my home to meet with me. He had me stand on a scale. I was shocked by what I saw. I asked him if his scale was set right. He checked it out by looking at the setting then by weighing himself and assured me it was fine. I suppose under other circumstances looking at the scale would have been great news, but not this time. I had lost ten pounds and until I stepped on that scale was clueless that my weight had dropped. When I stopped to think about it I realized I hadn’t had much of an appetite since starting the job most likely because I was too nervous to eat. I’d been so caught up in trying to do well at work while struggling to gain acceptance at the same time, that I hadn’t realized how much I was letting it affect me. My weight drop was a wake-up call. I knew I had to change the way I was dealing with my new workplace or I was going to be in big trouble. (more…)