Posts Tagged ‘love’

When Anxiety Hits

Wednesday, June 21st, 2017

When anxiety hits it feels like there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

You need to run and release what’s inside but you have absolutely no idea where to go and how to do it.

If you have a nearby open space you could run and scream the feelings out but that’s not an option for most of us. Breathing through the deep feelings of despair can sometimes help.

Deep anxiety can be agonizing. A loss will trigger anxiety like nothing else can.

Whether it be a loss of a love relationship through separation, divorce, death, the loss of a parent or child, the loss of another dear family member, friend, beloved pet, the loss of a job, or a home, or the loss of health, the loss can be overwhelming.If you manage it with medication–and you may very well feel the need to at first–the pain will eventually come back because substances can only deaden the pain of loss for so long.

If the anxiety is severe find a way to relief quickly before your emotions mow you down.

Seek medical advice immediately if in crisis.

Breathe in and out slowly.

Talk to someone you know and trust.

Walk or run it out.

Talk to yourself, kindly.

Seek counsel as soon as possible.

Take care of you first and foremost.

No Contact

Broken Hearts

Sunday, April 9th, 2017

Broken hearts are not easy to mend which is why it is imperative that you take the best care you can of the one you’ve got.

New love interests will come into your life and promise you the sun moon and the stars but if they promise you all of that too soon pay attention to that because it is not a minor detail.

It is easy to make a promise when love is fresh and new…before the dust has settled in. Once it has you may notice backtracking of the sweet words delivered early on. Plug your ears if you have to so you don’t take those words too seriously. Promises made early at the height of passion are likely intended as sweet words only.

Keep your heart strong by encapsulating it with your protection. You are the only one who can truly do this job. Giving sole power to someone else to protect your heart is risky. You can love others and they can love you but you must provide the protection needed for this precious organ.

No Contact

Full Engagement

Tuesday, April 4th, 2017

No ContactFull engagement in your own life is a must.

Your own interests

Your own plans, activities, friends and family.

The best relationship any of us ever has is the one we have with ourselves. If it is when we form a partnership with another person we will add to what we already have rather than take away from what we love in order to accommodate a new partner.

For those of us who are experienced with being in destructive relationships, we tend to let the other person dictate what we do and don’t do, where we go, who we see and don’t see, heck we even let partners decide what we eat!

When it comes right down to it all any of us have is ourselves. Other people will leave us either through divorce, break up, abandonment or death.

You have this great opportunity while living to take care of you. Love others as best you can but remember they are humans just like you. They don’t own you and no human will ever be your higher power.

Engaging in your own life first and foremost will bring you the peace of mind that will allow you to have strong relationships with others.

Love & Cement

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.

Cher

Relationship Exit Opens New Door

Monday, July 8th, 2013

No ContactEven though you leave a partner, when you exit the relationship there is a void to fill and it can take a long while to recover.  Whether the relationship was a healthy or destructive one the feeling of love for this person stays with you.

Over time the sorrow pain anger and frustration of having been in this relationship and having it end will soften. With the right attitude you will move forward with strong insight from having been part of it.

What determines growth is acceptance of the circumstances that led you to leave. You knew and still know that in order to live a healthy happy life you had to leave a person that you truly loved.

The victory is that you loved. Each of us who have been moved by love know that it leaves traces on the heart. Memories of love stay with us and long after the fire burns out marks are left as proof that loved existed. To deny that love existed keeps you in denial. Accepting that love was there helps you move forward.

Many times the end of one love prepares for a new healthier one;  a new door opens that may not have been available to you otherwise.

A Leap of Faith in Love

Friday, March 29th, 2013

This is a short article that gives some very wise advice.

http://bit.ly/11TzImw

 

You Might Love ‘Em but Do You Like ‘Em?

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Have you ever felt that although you feel love for your partner you really don’t like him or her?

You sure wouldn’t be alone.

It is not uncommon at times to dislike a partner–even a nice partner who treats you well. They could be having a bad day and/or are stressed or maybe both of you are out of sorts, that happens.  However if you’ve had or have a partner who is none too nice to begin with life can be hard on a regular basis.

Yesterday I went with my son to a local retail outlet to exchange an item. In front of us was another customer making a return. He tells the clerk he needs to exchange what he bought because his girlfriend’s idiot son broke it (fortunately neither the girlfriend or her son were with him.)

I immediately felt sorry for his girlfriend and her son. I wondered about this guy and how truly loving he could be to either of them. I thought well maybe she loves the guy but how easy is he to like?

There are things that eat away at people for sure but one of the hardest to take day in and out are the jabbing stabbing cruel things people say to those they are closest to. If this man referred to his gf’s child as an idiot to a stranger how would he address him at home?

A piggy bank comes to mind. When someone says something nice they deposit a coin. After enough coins get deposited and the bank is full they break it open and treat themselves. On the other hand, if cruel words are said a coin is taken out. If the cruel words outnumber the nice ones that bank isn’t going to fill up anytime soon.

How is it possible to like let alone love a person who is cruel to you, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, or pets?  Words sting. You can pretend that words don’t hurt but deep down you”re not fooling anyone and especially not fooling yourself. Eventually love fades and is replaced by a ton of anger and resentment.

You don’t need it and neither do your loved ones.

So what do you do?

For starters you stop taking it.

Let the person know it’s not okay and you will no longer put up with it.

If it continues it’s up to you to decide if you can live another day or more the way you’re living now. Decide if it’s worth your health and that of your family.

As always, if you are in a violent relationship please seek the advice of a professional before making changes in your current situation.

National Domestic Violence Hotline  1-800-799-SAFE.

 

 

 

Tears

Thursday, June 7th, 2012

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.

Washington Irving

Relationships with Our Kids Speak Volumes About Who We Are

Saturday, May 19th, 2012

If you are considering a committed relationship and want to get a clear picture about what you’re bringing to the table check out the relationships you have with your kids.

Our kids know us–backwards forwards inside out. They are experts on us.  In their eyes we are transparent. There is little that gets passed them and potentially they can use this to their advantage.

How we manage or mismanage our lives in our significant relationships has EVERYTHING to do with how we manage the relationships we have with our children. If things aren’t going so well in that arena take heed.

We are not victims when it comes to relating with our children–after all we are the adults, right?

Ask yourself a few questions:

Does my child know when I’m tired?

This is the time when you’re too tired to say no and thus the best time to ask for favors, toys, cash, big ticket items, whatever. It is more likely that you will give in or at least be somewhat approachable in terms of introducing a new want or need.

Does my child know my emotions?

Does your child know your emotional landscape? Do they  know the ebbs and flows in your personality? If you haven’t been consistent in your parenting you don’t fool them for a second when you come on strong telling them “no” to this or that. They are willing to gamble and ride out that “no” with you if there is a chance–even a slim one that you will have a change of heart.

Does my child know what makes me vulnerable?

Does your child know what you fear? Many of our fears may go unspoken but our children likely know what scares us and what makes us feel threatened. The biggest threat to most human beings is the loss of love from those we love. The threat of losing the love from our children can send waves of panic through us. Consequently we may agree to things we shouldn’t or go along with things that aren’t right in order to avoid this pain.

Next time: Making Our Children Better People Makes Us Better Too