Posts Tagged ‘limbo’

Do You Choose to Remain Vague?

Monday, March 19th, 2012

Do you ever feel that you want a change but don’t know what?

I speak with many people who feel vague about what they want to do different though they know there is something. They have this feeling of needing something–anything but can’t name it.

I’m a firm believer that change comes about when opportunity and circumstances meet.

The circumstances may not be ideal.

The change may not be profound.

Yet circumstances meet opportunity at a specific point in time.

Seven years ago I bought a house. I’d given thought to buying one for a few months and had the means to do it. A development was going up about eight blocks from where I lived. It was scary to commit to buying a house that hadn’t been built yet but the opportunity was there and the circumstances were right. So I bought it.

Not all decisions come together this quickly but they can. It helps to get clear about what you want and value in your life. Keeping things vague can be a way to prevent you from committing to change. It’s a trap because when you don’t take action you let yourself off the hook and can go back to being in limbo.

Of course there are times when you must back away from change because it feels like the best course of action to take. Yet if the change you are considering is one you’ve wanted for a long time but refuse to move forward you’re likely backing away out of fear. Moving forward when the components of change (opportunity & circumstances) meet gives you power in your life.

Ask yourself–do I like keeping things vague or would I feel better gaining some power?


Don’t Know What to Do? Take a Small Action

Monday, October 18th, 2010

One of life’s biggest challenges is not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to do is a decision to stay uncertain or in limbo. If you don’t know what to do about a certain situation, you must figure it out if it’s important to you to do so.

There are times when moving forward with a decision is squelched due to being concerned about the rightness or wrongness of a next step.

It doesn’t take long to determine if a next step is right or wrong. If it feels right you will naturally build from your previous step. If it feels wrong, you will pull back or re-route your decision and go in another direction.

How do you know the next step? You don’t know for sure but it is likely that you will come close to a good answer by seeking information.

Then, take a step by going with the hunch that feels accurate for you.

What is your alternative?

Not moving forward.

Say that you are in a  toxic relationship. You don’t know what to do. What is one thing you could do?

Something simple: look up toxic relationship and see if the definition feels like it applies to you.

Next, pay attention to the way your body feels.

Are you nervous, uncertain, confused, withdrawn, have a sinking feeling?

Pay attention to all these signals.

Then make a next decision.  Even if it is to journal about it–even just one sentence. That is still taking an action because you are committing words to paper.

That one small action will get the wheels turning and you will be able to take additional actions.

You may want to journal more, read more about destructive relationships, or speak to a counselor.

Major actions aren’t  necessary. Small ones work best especially when you are uncertain.