Posts Tagged ‘knowing’

Defeating the Narcissist

Saturday, December 2nd, 2017

Defeating the narcissist is not hard yet it does require that you do something which might appear foreign to you but is absolutely necessary.

You must anchor into the truth of you.

You must feel into who you are and the knowing of who you are.

You must believe that you know who you are and that no one else on this earth knows this truth better than you do.

You must partner with yourself and believe in what your inner being tells you.

You must believe what your inner being tells you ALWAYS even when you come face to face with someone who tells you that you don’t know who you are and that you don’t know what you want, don’t know what is happening, and don’t know what you’re talking about.

Narcissists will tell you whatever they need to tell you to manifest their agenda. Everything they do and say is a means to that end.

Narcissists will lie when it suits them which is quite often.

Narcissists will lie when there is absolutely no reason to lie. They may tell you they had cereal for breakfast when they really had pancakes. They may tell you they bought a new coat when they didn’t and then when you compliment them on their new coat the next time you see them they say it’s not new and that they never told you they bought a new coat.

Narcissists are unconscious. They don’t face the truth of who they are because their wounding, like all of us who are among the walking wounded, have deep wounds from childhood. We either face these wounds and heal them or we don’t. Narcissists don’t and they won’t.

Our job has human beings is to live consciously in our own truth. When we do this we stop dancing with narcissists. When we face our own truth we have no interest in narcissists and want nothing to do with them.

If you are separated from and must co-parent with a narcissist stand up for the truth of you and for your children. Face the obstacles in your way and calmly and deliberately get your ducks in a row and keep them there. Do your research and document. Document even when you don’t think you need to document because the narcissist will throw you off if you are not one step ahead of them at all times. When you consistently take care of business they will see the change, your children will see the change, and you will feel the change in your mind and in your body. At this point the contact you have with them is only for your children–their health and wellness, scheduling, education.

Narcissists sniff out unconscious co-dependents like heat seeking missiles AND they know when a person is not worth messing with. They know this because people who are grounded in who they are won’t put up with people who play games with the heart, the mind, and the soul. Grounded people know themselves and know exactly what they need to make their lives work. They ask questions of other people that will give them the answers they need. They don’t put up with other people telling them untruths about who they are because they already know who they are. They don’t fall for sweet words that are all fluff and no substance. Remember, narcissists tell people anything they think is necessary in order to get others to do what they want them to do. When you call them on their words and stand tall in your own truth consistently they will back off and slink away.

Defeating the narcissist isn’t the end goal. Defeating the narcissist is a necessary step that must be taken in order to have the space and the freedom to move you forward to your true self.

No Contact

Crystal Clear View

Wednesday, January 29th, 2014

On the one hand we want to know everything. A crystal ball would be nice–then everything would be crystal clear. But if we knew exactly what we need to know where would living come into play? Living=challenge=trust=achievement=more questions The only way answers make sense is by living with the questions for awhile– some times a long while.

 

No Contact

Asking the Right Questions

Monday, August 20th, 2012

I’ve recently started a new business venture and have come to the realization that there were questions I wish I would have asked earlier in the process–like before I signed on the dotted line…

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t want to ask the right questions because I definitely did. The problem was I didn’t know enough to ask all the questions I should have asked. I was in learning mode and in that mode information is attacking right and left. The challenge is to survive the attack, regroup, and ultimately digest enough to understand some of it.

During times such as starting a new business, new job, new relationship, or pretty much anything new there is always a learning curve. In the beginning we retain bits and pieces of what we need to know but don’t fully grasp the big picture. We want to feel like we can step into any situation, make a quick assessment and then “just know” exactly how to react or respond.

It would be nice if life worked like that but it doesn’t. We can’t just know what to do. It takes exposure practice and time in order to meet with enough experiences within the new situation to understand what is needed. The primary means to get the information we need is to ask questions, lots of them.

By asking questions, getting answers, and asking more questions we eventually get to a point where we can fill in the blanks as they come up. Details  begin to surface and those details often lead us to the RIGHT questions.

If you’re standing at the edge of a cliff and your friend tells you to jump you’re not likely to do so unless you’re certain you’ll survive.

Real life situations are not always that black and white but rather shades of gray. The questions we don’t ask can cost us; the questions we do ask can save us.

If you don’t understand everything you need to know in a new situation maintain a steady demeanor. Ask questions even those you might think are ridiculous or not worth asking–those are the very questions you should ask.

No matter where you are or what you’re dealing with in your life right now I’d be willing to bet you’ve got questions–questions that are lingering right beneath the surface–you may not even be aware a question exists but it’s there.

Don’t keep questions to yourself. If in the instant you think of a question pertaining to a particular situation but can’t ask it write it down. Add to a list of questions as they come to mind.

If you’re in a new work situation and you don’t feel comfortable asking a question of an immediate supervisor ask a lead worker, assistant, or knowledgeable co-worker. If you don’t think the questions you have are leading to the right information just keep asking. Those early questions will lead to others as you gain more information.

If in a new relationship and things don’t add up or something is bothersome but you can’t put your finger on it ask questions. As you get to know the person better your questions will lead to those that give you more clarity. If you’re not comfortable enough to ask questions decide if the relationship is the best one for you.

 

 

Being Certain & Secure

Friday, November 12th, 2010

Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.    John Allen Paulos

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Sunday, November 7th, 2010

When you do nothing, you feel overwhelmed and powerless. But when you get involved, you feel the sense of hope and accomplishment that comes from knowing you are working to make things better.    Author Unknown