Posts Tagged ‘judgement’

Anchored In Your Truth

Sunday, September 17th, 2017

When you’re anchored in your truth you feel it.

There’s no need to beg for accountability from others because what someone else does or doesn’t do has nothing to do with you.

When we beg for accountability from another person we’re not anchored in our truth. We are living from the outside in rather than the inside out meaning that we are only okay as long as outside forces are behaving in ways we have grown to expect.

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t expect others to be accountable for their actions. Yet if our truth and our life being okay hinge solely on what others do and don’t do and who others are or aren’t we’re setting ourselves up for failure.

When we’re anchored in our truth other people can do or say or be who and what they want to be. We will not fall apart because it isn’t what we want them to do or be. We can encourage and if asked, give our opinion but other people get to live their lives without us passing judgement on them.

We don’t need to be around people who do not match who we are–that is always our choice to make.

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Cultivating Creativity

Monday, January 14th, 2013

I read recently that in order to cultivate creativity one condition needed is the willingness to be gullible which means the willingness to suspend belief and accept what comes from the inside without insisting on rationality or logic.

So trusting what you feel and need and hope for without judgement is not a bad thing.

A bad thing is to squash your feelings hopes and dreams by denying their existence.

So dream on!

Leaving Love Behind

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

Some love is better left behind.

We don’t have to like it but we have to push ourselves out of a relationship if love has us in a holding pattern.

Not all relationships are meant for the long haul and the sooner we figure out if the one we’re in is one we should leave behind the sooner we’ll be able to move forward.

I was in a relationship where there was an underlying theme forever lurking underneath the surface. Sometimes I would pretend this theme wasn’t there–didn’t really exist–wasn’t as bad as I thought. I told myself the relationship was great except for this one thing and I knew if I could make this one thing go away the relationship would work.

My thinking was murky; my judgement cloudy. I kept filling my brain with reasons why I should stay when I heard that tiny voice deep within forever nudging me to go.

I didn’t want to listen and spent a good portion of three years trying to silence that voice by pointing out times when things were relatively free of drama.

Yet the drama always came back around–large doses of it followed by what I considered to be better more normal times.

It took a very long time for me to see that I was riding a roller-coaster.

I kept getting back on ready for the next go around hoping that somehow things would be different this time.

But things were not different. Sure, there may have been longer stretches of somewhat normal life but the down cycle would always pop up again ready to provide me with a jolt of reality.

Finally I woke up to the realization that this would continue to be my life as long as I stayed in the relationship. I finally understood that no one and nothing was going to change my partner who was an alcoholic. He would have to make that decision.

I also realized that no one but me was going to get me out of the situation I was in.

So I made the decision to get off the roller-coaster and leave love behind.

It was definitely not easy but it was life changing for the better.

When a relationship doesn’t work we want to fix it. We want to figure out how we can have a healthy relationship with this person who we love. The problem is WE can’t do this by ourselves.

Some relationships aren’t healthy for us for many different reasons. There may be violence, addictions, emotional detachment, unavailability, cultural differences, and more…

We need to get out of the holding pattern we’re in and move forward toward a better life.


Brace Yourself–Life Is Difficult

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

I had the opportunity to watch a gem of a movie–The Beaver. You may want to check it out.

In the movie the main character suffers from depression. He doesn’t want to live and tries to hang himself but isn’t successful. His challenge is to engage himself in his own life, to embrace the life he has  so that ultimately he wants to live.

Life is full of challenges. There are times when we interpret these challenges to be frustrations or road blocks keeping us from living the life we want. Attitude plays a role–if we believe challenges can’t be overcome we will retreat and blame circumstances for our inability to take action.

Sometimes we want to meet a new challenge but don’t know what to do. We’ve got options but there is uncertainty tied to each one and the fear of making the wrong choice keeps us from moving forward.

At other times, as with the character in The Beaver, we give up. Life takes too much effort and despite all the positives we’ve got going don’t feel up to putting out any effort at all. If this is the case it will take more than our own effort to clear the way. Help is needed–family friends and often professional to get us back on track.

For all of us,  life is difficult. There will always be challenges and obstacles and even boredom to overcome. If you or someone you know has a zest for life and faces each day as an opportunity, you/they work on it. Facing life head on with a positive attitude is hard work but worth it.

The challenges put before us are there because that is the way life is. There are no guarantees. Living a full life with rich experiences requires taking risks.

I’d rather live life by risking  based on my best judgement than standing still and wishing I would have tried.

Life is difficult; that’s a given. How you choose to manage those difficulties is in your hands.