Posts Tagged ‘help’

Standing in a Sinkhole

Saturday, September 29th, 2018

No ContactIf you’re standing in a sinkhole sticking around long enough to be fully encapsulated shouldn’t be an option. Intimate partner relationships take work but if your voice is not heard how are you going to be heard? If you’re scared what will it take to feel safe?

When circumstances continue to spiral down you know it.

Do you feel there is hope that the situation can change?

Is there pushing, shoving, hitting, biting, tripping, slapping or any other form of physical abuse? Is a relationship partner ignoring disregarding or undermining or doesn’t want to spend time with you? Is there financial deprivation? If you feel your circumstances are situational what will it take to turn things around? If you’re situation hasn’t escalated to the point where there is physical violence do you fear it will get that way in the future?

Be honest with yourself. We usually know deep down when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Are you communicating with your partner letting them know how you feel? Do you feel safe enough to communicate with your partner?

Your first job is to take care of you. Once you crawl out of the sinkhole the pieces your life will begin to fall into place. This can only happen through honest communication with your partner and a willingness by both of you to create change. If that is not possible the other alternatives are to stay with the status quo or remove yourself from the relationship. If you know that communicating your needs isn’t safe you either keep silent and stay or find a way out.

To seek help contact the Domestic Abuse National Hotline:


1-800-787-3224 TTY

The National Sexual Assault Hotline


Wearing a Badge

Tuesday, November 15th, 2016

No ContactWearing a badge gives us rights. For those in the workforce some people have the right to hand out decisions and deliver mandates and if it weren’t for the work they do would not have the power to do this.

The reality is that one day those who have badges will give them up. Usually giving up the badge is done with grace and willingness knowing it is time to take it off. Other times termination forces people to relinquish the badge.

Once badge wearers are among the general population they lose authority but gain freedom from the responsibility that goes along with wearing a badge.

They themselves may run into resistance when they need help or are trying to help someone else.

If this happens it is tempting to let the people in charge know from where you’ve come as it might help but then again it might not.

For those still wearing badges do so with dignity and honor.

Be kind patient and respectful toward others.

Remember that once you lose your badge there may just come a day when you have to fight like hell to be heard.

On Being Your Own Best Friend

Sunday, June 5th, 2016

It is not possible to be your own best friend when old beliefs about yourself–I’m old, too fat, too skinny, unlucky, too weak, cowardly, stupid etc keep entering your mind. These are old ideas you’ve allowed to hang around. The only way to get rid of this stuff is to condition your brain to latch onto the truth about who you really are.

The negative is only there because you don’t fight hard enough to keep it away.

There have been times when in a new situation–like with a group of people at a networking event, where I tell myself all sorts of things–you wore the wrong thing, why did you say that, or why didn’t you say something…I’ve beat myself up to the point where I can’t wait to get out of the place.

There is no place you can be where being your own best friend won’t work in your favor. If you are some place –like a work meeting, employee gathering, networking or some place else where you feel little sense of comfort, be okay with just being in the moment and soaking it all in. There is nothing you have to do as long as you are present. Take it all in, observe, smile and then when it’s over be proud that you kept your poise and made it through!

No Contact


When You Can’t Find Help

Thursday, January 28th, 2016

When you can’t find help keep searching as you just haven’t found the solution

Don’t give up!

There is a plan of action out there that will help you.

Be persistent. It takes time–lots of time to pull together plans, moves, actions and solutions in order to
modify what you’re currently doing.

Sometimes we spend so much time seeking out what we feel is the only solution that we miss good alternatives.

Sometimes we give up too soon because we lose patience with the course we’re on. We think if it were going to work it would have done so by now.

I’ve been at a convention this week with fellow window treatment business owners. I am amazed by stories of resilence. People who have stayed the course even through an economic downtown when as far as the eye could see the future looked bleak.

They found help & solutions through trial and error and things worked out.

Being flexible when seeking help especially when you believe options are limited can turn the tide.

No Contact

Can’t Sit Back if You Want Change

Saturday, December 26th, 2015

Note: this was posted a year ago and still feel it has much value.

Below is what Beyonce has to say:

Here is what one 15 year old has to say:

No Contact


Tuesday, December 15th, 2015

The number one reason I was able to finally leave the destructive relationships I found myself in was that I forced myself to get used to uncomfortable.

The thing that keeps us in what isn’t good for us is that even though we know it’s not good, we’re familiar with it and know how to live in it.

It may not be good but getting up day after day and knowing what to expect even if it’s bad gives us a sense of normalcy that we crave.

One of the first big decisions I made when I left my marriage was to buy a new home.

Walking into the realtor’s office by myself felt very uncomfortable.

I felt like a fish out of water and completely alone.

It seemed so abnormal to make the big decision I was about to make.

I thought–I can’t do this and shouldn’t be here. I need  help!

But there I was and looking around I realized I was the only one there to make the decision and it had to be done;

so I did it.

I felt less uncomfortable as I walked out of that office.

I felt uncomfortable with more decisions I made in the coming weeks months and years but I got used to making decisions and as time went on realized that the only way to get comfortable was to continue to make decisions–small medium and big ones.

The result was that over time the uncomfortableness I’d felt early on became my new comfort zone.

I trusted the decisions I was making.

Other people saw the difference in me–the confidence that came through.

I would not have grown into the person I am today without forcing myself to get uncomfortable.

Next time you think–oh no, I can’t do this or this is way too big a decision for me to make–

think again.

Get used to it.

Accept it.

Own your decisions.

Your time is now.

No Contact


Trying to Keep Your Cool

Sunday, May 31st, 2015

Trying to keep  your cool when life is not going smoothly is tough.

Maintaining your equilibrium when something is out of whack is one

of the most difficult things you can do.

Breathe through the disruptions; put a lid on the chaos.

Get through difficult days one minute at a time.

Physically pat yourself on the back.

Give yourself a big hug.

The most difficult client customer or situation in the world can wait.

You deserve calm and peace for a few moments before facing

difficult challenges.

Take care of you.

No Contact

Kids & Bullies

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

Kids Need Help with Bullies

Sam’s stomach sinks as he sees the bus pull up at his stop.

Past experience tells him that there will most likely be several kids who will not welcome him to sit next to them.

Others will jab, trip, or kick him as he walks by. Another may tear at his backpack.

Once he makes it to school, there is a bigger kid at the door to greet him, who snatches his lunch, takes what he wants, then wads the sack up and drops it on the floor.

Sam struggles with his school work, has few friends, and watches the clock all day long in anticipation for the final bell to ring and for the day to be over.

Sam is being bullied and his situation is being played out in schools everywhere.

Bullying can be verbal, such as name calling and put-downs; physical like hitting, kicking, or damaging property, or relational such as spreading rumors, or threatening friendships.

Bullying can have long term emotional effects and is different from normal child conflict. A bully has power over the target and purposely causes harm and then repeats the action.

If your child is being bullied he or she might not tell you. Lots of times kids feel embarrassed or think they’ve done something to deserve being bullied. Kids need to know that bullying is violence and not their fault.

Signs to watch for:

  • Headaches
  • Not wanting to go to school
  • Stomachaches, sleeplessness, bed wetting
  • Drop in grades
  • Coming home with torn or dirty clothing
  • few or no friends

If you think your child is being bullied ask questions. Contact the school, speak with the principal, and file a report.

If the school conducts an investigation make sure they don’t try and bring the bully and your child together since the imbalance of power could result in an escalation of the bullying.

Most kids don’t have the skills to deal with a bully on their own. They need the help of an adult to resolve the issue.

Be there for them.

Seeking to Understand

Monday, March 24th, 2014

There are very few things as important in life as seeking to understand.

We are concerned about being understood which is very important

Yet when we seek to understand the viewpoints of others we are learning every bit as much about ourselves as we are about them.

No Contact


Science Needs Women

Friday, December 13th, 2013

Women are needed in the world of Science. Look to see what Women Scientists are doing. So much more to be done…