Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

What We Are

Saturday, September 14th, 2013

The bird is a nest.

The spider a web.

Man friendship.

–William Blake


Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Spend less time with critical people and more time with those who love and support you.

Delivering Bad News

Monday, September 10th, 2012

Delivering bad news is never something we can’t wait to do and I don’t mean news re: the death of a loved one or re: illness. The type of bad news I’m referring to is the type where people lose the opportunity to benefit or gain in some way. This might be the loss of a new job, project, manager, client. It might be the loss of a promotion, money gifts, awards, government benefits, tenancy, property or another tangible. It might also be the loss of a relationship.

It’s hard to be the one whether professionally or personally who tells another person they’re not going to get something they want or that you no longer want the other person in your life. Being on the receiving end of this type of news can be devastating but what is worse is not getting the news first hand from the person who should be responsible for giving it.

Say you’re in a relationship and your partner just disappears. You receive no warning, no goodbye no nice knowing you, they’re just gone. You wonder and maybe imagine all sorts of things happened. You look for them or make countless phone calls but in the end you’re left with more than a few unknowns. (more…)

Boys & Friendship Crisis

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

Say What You Think

Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

In a new relationship it can be tough to be upfront with views and opinions if they’re different from that of a new person. The first thought might be to stay neutral. There’s no reason to come off as harsh in any way but don’t be afraid to say what you think either. I once met a man who was a serious motorcycle rider. He told me he didn’t ride much in the winter but spent a lot of time riding during the summer. He asked me what I thought about motorcycles. At the time I remember thinking–I could tell him I love them but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Instead I told him it depends on the rider because motorcycle safety is an issue for me.

I didn’t hear from him again. He most likely felt I wasn’t going to share his enthusiasm for bikes and riding was important to him.

Be honest with people and tell them what you think. It isn’t always pleasant but it doesn’t have to be awkward either. You’ll feel more confident when you tell people how you feel because you’re letting them know who you are. Being authentic is a wise thing to do. You won’t have the same interests as every potential partner you meet. Besides, having the exact same interests as a partner isn’t necessary; we’re all different! By being honest not only do you let people know who you are, you tell them what you like, and what you don’t which is a good idea.


Hit & Miss versus Conscious & Intentional

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

We are blessed to have the ability and freedom to make many choices in our daily lives. We decide what we’re going to do with each new day.

We also have the opportunity to make choices when it comes to dating. We might decide to meet new friends at a local club or other night spot. Maybe we take a class, learn to dance, or take part in sports activities in hopes of meeting new people. We can choose to search through online dating profiles and send a wink or drop a line. After all, we’re the choosers and we make choices!

Since we have the opportunity to make dating choices, how do we do it? Do we use a hit and miss selection process or do we make conscious and intentional choices? With hit and miss we may not dig too deep in our early screening process. We might be satisfied if the guy is attractive, charming, has sex appeal, and is employed. He might also have a great smile, is initially attentive, and seems witty and clever. We might think, okay—why not, let’s give it a shot! So we get involved quickly and two or three months down the road this man who was once hanging on our every word barely hears anything we say. He might even drop not so subtle hints he’s moving on by playing U2’s I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For when we’re within ear shot or maybe has disappeared altogether. Oh boy… (more…)

The Power of Words

Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

Children learn from adults to say “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” These words are taught in order to lessen the pain inflicted on them by other children.

Children can be hurt deeply by words! A school or community playground can become a place to dread where the young can be left permanently scarred by spiteful or mindless chatter.

Words have the energy and power to heal or maim; to comfort or destroy. A few choice words can start or end a friendship. Arguments, fights, divorces, feuds, and wars start because of words. Sometimes we carry pain with us throughout life because of words spoken to us that we never forgot. The way words are said makes a difference too. They can soothe or attack. We can direct pleasantries toward those we like and curse words toward those we don’t.

Children and adults alike are hurt or helped by the words we speak. We can absolutely and positively make or break another person’s day. We can build them up or tear them down with just a few choice words.

Choose your words carefully.

Talk is Not Cheap in Relationships

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011

You’ve most likely heard the expression talk is cheap. It definitely doesn’t apply to relationships. If anything it’s a commodity. Without talk a relationship is destined to die.

Sometimes, especially in the beginning, talk is hard to come by. People feel their way as they create conversation in order to find common ground. Some conversations last just a few seconds, simple words, light and breezy. Others can be meatier and last hours.

Talk is good.  Not necessarily idle chatter but sincere communication heals our souls and keeps the brain active and stimulated.

Talking about common interests, activities, current events, ideas, travel, dreams, goals, and plans usually put people at ease. When it gets right down to it, all of our relationships are a series of conversations.

Great relationships don’t just happen–they’re created and one of the primary ingredients is talk. Talk is wonderful music to the ears. It has great value. It’s like physical exercise—the more you do the better you get and the more you look forward to it.

If you find it tough to involve another person in conversation, keep trying. As the conversation starts to flow,  you’ll become more comfortable and start looking forward to it. If you run across someone who seems turned off by a meaningful exchange take note of it. If you are dating and conversation comes hard a safe bet is to ask the other person about themselves–most people love to talk about their views activities hobbies etc. Guard against overwhelming your partner. Too much question and answer conversation for hours at a time is too much to deal with. Shorter meaningful conversations have a greater impact over time.

To keep a relationship going keep the lines of communication flowing.

Buying Friendship

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Too Old? No Way!

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

I often hear people say they’re too old. They feel they’re too old to go to school, learn a new skill, find a job, or be in a great relationship. About fifty per cent of the time, these people are younger than me so I think if you’re too old—what am I?

Why are people so insistent on putting themselves out to pasture when they’ve still got life to live? I know of some elderly people who are older—late eighties and nineties who don’t think this way. In fact, these people are energizing, inspiring, interested in life, busy, and productive! I’ve never heard “too old” come out of their mouths.

So why are some younger people too old while some older people are youthful? Maybe it has to do with fear. They could be afraid to try something new so use their age (I’ve heard “too old” from a thirty one year old) as an excuse to stay put.

Sure, there are things that have age limitations. Say you want to be an Olympic gymnast at age twenty five having never stepped foot in a gym. If that is your hope, you may need to come up with an alternative goal. However, aside from physical limits or age specific and other requirements for certain opportunities, there are options available to you; look for them.

As you already know, you’re not too old unless you think you are and if you think you are, no matter what your age might be, think again. If you desire a new path, seek information—explore your options.

If you seek a relationship and you feel you’re too old others will pick up on that mindset. Sure, there are men and women hung up on age. If you find one of these types, move past them. Your vitality wisdom and experience are desirable. Seek those who respect and appreciate you for who and where you are right now.

Forget self-limitations; why bother with them? Explore, create, seek, and find—just don’t give up! If a door closes, find another door. Your positive attitude is your ticket to success. People will pick up on the little things that slip into your conversations with them. If you believe you’re too old, others will too! You’re not done unless you think you are. Find out about, look into, explore, develop, create, and relate toward the life you want. Too old—never! It’s all in what you choose to believe.