Posts Tagged ‘force’

To Force Forgiveness

Monday, May 1st, 2017

No ContactOne thing I know for sure is that it is impossible to force another person who has caused me hurt and pain to ask for my forgiveness.

Why would I want to do that anyway?

There would be no point to the forgiveness because it wouldn’t be sincere.

Forgiveness is not always timely and doesn’t happen in a straight line. If it happens at all, it often happens out of the blue when the deed done is something we’ve moved past.

If we try to get another person to see their wrongdoing it is completely counterproductive as we can not make anyone see anything. They must see it for themselves.

We are not here to be judge and jury. We live our lives and own our lives by taking responsibility for the things we do and say to others. As long we live like this we can go to bed at night and sleep soundly.

If you have lived with abuse you know what I’m talking about.

There is no way to force an apology.

You can learn to accept yourself and nurture you in the face of abuse. Not by putting up with the abuse but by standing up to the abuse in the safest way you possibly can.

More to Come…

Know Where You Are Going

Wednesday, January 11th, 2017

You can’t know where you are going if you don’t know where you are.

I’m sure you’re saying….yeah, and tell me something I don’t know.

Seriously, people can be physically at a place in life and have no idea how or why they are there.

Sometimes we might feel that forces beyond our control place us in certain locations at certain times and to some extent that is true.

But to move forward we have to have an understanding of where we are in the present otherwise we will move forward impulsively instead of strategically.

Going on a whim and a prayer is risky.

Know where you want to go based on a plan.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing now.

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been.

Your age doesn’t matter unless you are not well and/or have a disabling condition that forces you to look at your safety as it relates to your health.

Think through any major change you want to make because it will change your life and the results might not be what you thought they would be. If you plan ahead you will be better prepared.

Think about where you are now. Take inventory. Evaluate. Note the good and the bad and what you would like to see happen in your future.

There is no one who knows your circumstances as well as you do. Believe that and plan accordingly.

No Contact

Uncomfortable

Tuesday, December 15th, 2015

The number one reason I was able to finally leave the destructive relationships I found myself in was that I forced myself to get used to uncomfortable.

The thing that keeps us in what isn’t good for us is that even though we know it’s not good, we’re familiar with it and know how to live in it.

It may not be good but getting up day after day and knowing what to expect even if it’s bad gives us a sense of normalcy that we crave.

One of the first big decisions I made when I left my marriage was to buy a new home.

Walking into the realtor’s office by myself felt very uncomfortable.

I felt like a fish out of water and completely alone.

It seemed so abnormal to make the big decision I was about to make.

I thought–I can’t do this and shouldn’t be here. I need  help!

But there I was and looking around I realized I was the only one there to make the decision and it had to be done;

so I did it.

I felt less uncomfortable as I walked out of that office.

I felt uncomfortable with more decisions I made in the coming weeks months and years but I got used to making decisions and as time went on realized that the only way to get comfortable was to continue to make decisions–small medium and big ones.

The result was that over time the uncomfortableness I’d felt early on became my new comfort zone.

I trusted the decisions I was making.

Other people saw the difference in me–the confidence that came through.

I would not have grown into the person I am today without forcing myself to get uncomfortable.

Next time you think–oh no, I can’t do this or this is way too big a decision for me to make–

think again.

Get used to it.

Accept it.

Own your decisions.

Your time is now.

No Contact