Posts Tagged ‘fear’

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018

No ContactFEAR

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

When we fear something we believe with all our might that our fear is real.

We absolutely and positively believe that our fear is stopping us from doing stupid, ridiculous, and even dangerous things.

And sometimes it is true that we can have fear about things that we are wise to be fearful of but many things we are scared of are not really things we should be afraid of.

So what is it about fear that puts this stranglehold on us?

We fear that something terrible is going to happen to us if we do this one thing.

For me, making customer service calls to my past customers, is something I dread.

I believe that by calling my past customers and asking them how they like the window treatments I sold them that they will call me names, swear at me, or hang up.

I also think that when I ask these same customers if they have received compliments in regards to the window treatments I sold them that they will accuse me of trying to get referrals from them and refuse to give them to me.

And if they did accuse me of trying to get referrals from them the truth is I do want to encourage them to help me speak to other who people I may be able to help because I love what I do and I sincerely believe I can help their friends and family.

And even if my past customers call me names, swear at me or hang up on me, I will survive. None of those things will cause me bodily harm or injure me in any way.

And there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with me calling my past customers, asking them how they are doing, how the window treatments are working, and if they have received compliments.

Yet I believe what I am doing by calling my customers is somehow wrong or bad and I will come up with any excuse to avoid making those calls.

I would go so far as to say that I could see me losing my business just because I am afraid of making those calls.

So I’ve decided that in order to prove to myself that I can get past my blocks and make the dreaded calls to my past customers I am going to aim to make 50 calls by the end of this month. If I make 5 calls a day it is totally doable for me to make 50 calls in 10 days. So I will update you at the end of this month.

What do you fear? What is your block? Is it a real genuine fear or is it False Evidence Appearing Real?

Agoraphobia

Sunday, November 20th, 2016

If you fear leaving your house–agoraphobia–you are not alone. It’s okay to be afraid but don’t let that fear win out. Don’t  say, I can’t do it because I’m afraid. Say, I’m afraid but I know it’s not good for me to stay in my house so I’m going to get out. The effort that it takes to leave is worth it. If you are depressed try this–get up, open the front door, and walk outside. Look up at the sky, look down at the ground. Take a breath. Being outside is so helpful when it comes to reframing the way you feel. It is a simple yet very effective way to feel better.

If physical pain or depression prevents you from leaving your home combat it. See your physician, mental health specialist, or another professional you trust. As long as you have the ability or have another person who can help you leave your home you will increase your quality of life by doing so.

http://bit.ly/2gbJtaw

No Contact

Caught Off Guard

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact

 

Walking a Tightrope

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

The relationships we have in our workplace are part of the employment package and relating to our employer and co-workers can be a lot like walking a tightrope. These are relationships we most likely wouldn’t likely have if it weren’t for our job.

Our co-workers may be good at what they do and we may respect that about them but they may also be annoying or manipulative, underhanded, schemers or in some other way nearly impossible to relate to in a normal way.

If we’re too nice we get squashed. If we don’t recognize their achievements we get the cold shoulder. If we don’t go along with their humor we’re made to feel as if we have no sense of humor.

We’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t.

At 3am you don’t want to be restless and wide awake because you are thinking about who is going to say what to you or what you’re going to have to put up with once you walk through that door…

So what do you do to continue working  and still meet your own needs? The best course of action might be to envision yourself walking your own personal tightrope.

Imagine your on that tightrope.

Watch your balance once you first walk through the door. Stay steady until you take that last step out the door at the end of the day.

Each day you get on the tightrope be gentle with your take off and with your last step onto the safety pad once you’re out the door. Be deliberate with the steps you take in between. The last thing you want to do is fall off the rope during the course of the day as falling off is a pain since you’ve got to work your way back up  the rope. Enough falls and you could very well be out of a job

If you’ve maintained your balance you can take a Deep Sigh of Relief.

Do your best to go about your business and show your employer and co-workers the same respect you want them to show you. Maintain a sense of calm so you can sleep at night as your sleep is the best you can give yourself when it comes to dealing with a difficult workplace environment.

Know that you’re not the only one walking the tightrope. Millions do it every day.

Good balance be with you.

Note: Be aware that there is a difference between difficult co-workers and outright abuse. Nip an abusive situation in the bud.

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Faith

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

If  you want to take a leap of faith but can’t quite hop up to the plate there are things you can do to mentally  prepare yourself.

http://huff.to/1Eifdxm

 

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Rejected

Monday, August 24th, 2015

There is nothing most of us hate more than being rejected.

Who likes that?

Who wants one person, a group of people, or any collective unit to ignore, walk away from, bully, or in some other way

discard them by:

Rejecting your ideas

Rejecting your presence

Rejecting YOU

The above is painful. In fact so painful it can mean we withdraw from people places–life as we know it–just

so we aren’t subjected to that kind of pain again.

However, when our worst fear is realized and we are rejected our body and mind will heal if we allow that healing

process to begin.

Beginning the process is key.

Move through the rejection as you would a bad storm.

Keep righting yourself even when monstrous winds come along that knock you off your feet.

Get back up.

Ride it out and maintain calm the best you can.

A rejection can end up giving you an experience in which you gain strength wisdom and the foothold you need to

move toward a better life.

No Contact

 

 

 

 

Caught Off Guard

Monday, April 6th, 2015

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact

 

The Moment

Friday, January 23rd, 2015

The moment you realize you’ve had it and you are done

with things the way they are

you’ll know what you need to do to make things better.

You’ll need to risk and perhaps

even take a bold action.

Once you stand up to the thing you

fear and look it in the eye

you will breathe a sigh of relief

because you’ve made it to a pivotal moment

and at that point you will feel strength and

calm and belief that you are on your way.

No Contact

Anxiety

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

High anxiety kills relationships.

High anxiety can kill you.

Every day you live in high anxiety is

One less day you fully live.

You render yourself extinct with fear.

Limit your anxiety with any method that works for you.

An anxiety reliever that comes from the actions you take

Rather than from what you ingest is worth its weight in gold.

No Contact

Stand Up for You

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Stand up for yourself…

Easy to say but not so easy to do.

Hard to do when others think you’ll look like a fool.

Hard to do when you feel intimidated by what others say and do.

Easy to talk yourself out of when you feel you stand alone.

Hard to forgive yourself when you don’t do what you say you’re going to do because you fear the

wrath from one or more.

When it comes down to it, there is no one who will care more than you do about your principles.

When it comes down to it, if you don’t fight for your principles, you principles aren’t worth much to you.

What makes you step away from the plate and decide not to fight for what you think is right?

FEAR of something, someone, or noone in particular but just afraid and resistant to stepping outside your

comfort zone.

What makes you step up to the plate to fight for what you believe is right?

When you’ve finally had enough and are so disgusted with the way you feel and so sick of feeling intimidated by

one or more you will No Contactthen decide to take action.

You realize that you don’t care nearly as much about what one or more think of you.

It doesn’t matter that one or more bad mouths you or has nothing to do with you.

You get to a place in your thinking where you know that what you think of you is more important.

Stand up for yourself…

Easy to say but not so easy to do.

Be proud of yourself; you’re no fool.