Posts Tagged ‘family friends’

Thinking In a New Year

Sunday, January 1st, 2012

Now comes the resolutions to make:

good decisions

healthier eating choices

lose weight

and the list goes on…

What about the resolution to be kinder to you? Sometimes we concentrate very hard on what we need to do to meet the needs of others and view our own needs as a distant second.

Our needs are important. Without meeting them we will not effectively meet the challenges before us in terms of family friends work and community.

Take time for you.

Eat well, get the rest you need, and reflect.

Life is busy and at times confusing. Choices and opportunities are presented to us on a daily basis. It is up to us to pay attention to what is put in front of us and the only way we will do that is if we pay attention to what we think.

Sometimes we push our thoughts down to a level where we barely recognize them as our own. They become jumbled up with thoughts of friends, family, co-workers, employers and others.

Differentiate between what you think and what others think. Examine and reflect.

Above all don’t discount how you feel and what you think throughout your daily life.

Expectations & the Holidays

Saturday, December 10th, 2011

Expectations can wreck holidays for people.

If you envision Kodak moments and your expectations are not realized you suffer disappointment.

Sometimes these disappointing moments are engrained in your memory to the point where the holiday wrecks overshadow great ones.

If it helps, try to stay as even keeled as possible during the holidays.

Try the following:

Avoid overspending on gifts. You’ve probably heard this a million times but overspending tends to increase our expectations from others significantly.

Maintain a positive attitude. When around family you don’t see on a regular basis it can be challenging. Adopt the attitude that you can deal with what comes your way in a respectful manner for both you and others.

If you have small children decide how much stimulation is reasonable. Gifts can be spread out over a period of several days or even weeks if it helps.

If you will be alone during the holidays take extra special care of you. The media attempts to sell us on family/friends/social gatherings. It’s not necessarily this way for everyone. If you know you will be alone spend this time doing what you want and enjoying it. I have spent a few holidays alone and was okay with it because I planned for it. Avoid Christmas programming, Christmas movies etc. if these bother you.

Get rid of the idea that there are set rules on how to feel and what to do during the holidays. You’re unique as is your situation. Follow your instincts.


Actions Trump Words in Relationships

Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

We usually identify ourselves with family, friends, job, financial security,  social networks, community, spirituality, hobbies etc.

We can be conversational and say what we want, where we will go, have done, hope to achieve, have accomplished, plan to learn etc. but those who know us, live with us, spend time with us, like us or love us, are most interested in knowing if we can be depended on. If when we say we will be there–we are, if we say we’ll show up–we do. Showing up, taking part, being available as a friend, partner, loved one,  speaks volumes about who we are as people especially when there isn’t any recognizable personal gain involved.

Right now it feels like there is a low lingering sense of panic that engulfs our country. Yet with so many people unemployed or underemployed we need to hunker down because it’s likely that life less settled and predictable is our lot for the foreseeable future. People are frustrated with the state of the economy and the lack of opportunity to the point where they think–if I’m going to take action I’d better make it count for me and while I’m at it, make sure others stand up and take notice of what I’m doing.

It’s understandable to feel this way, not only as a possible opening for opportunity but because recognition is important. It lets us and others know our efforts are valued.

People quit jobs because they feel unappreciated. There are bosses who believe  the only recognition people need is that they get to keep their jobs. This is very sad because employers have a golden opportunity now more than ever to let their employees know they are valued and appreciated because they do keep coming back often without recognition and pay increases and despite taking over additional workloads because vacancies are left unhired.

There are however those who do for others on a regular basis without any outside recognition for a job well done.

So when it comes to lending a helping hand take the action. Do it in the spirit of giving back to others as a way of paying forward what has been given to you. The lack of recognition or appreciation might sting but you know deep down that you are giving in a way that makes a difference. It doesn’t take much in the way of time. An hour a month might do the trick.

Your life will be richer because of it.