Posts Tagged ‘Down’

Dimming Down

Saturday, July 14th, 2018

No ContactAbout ten years ago I was not feeling real good about the work I was doing. Although the job allowed me to help people I also found it to be heavy–like two tons of brick on my back. I knew that I was going to need to change something because in my very own life I was dimming down. I actually spent time under my desk over the course of the workweek because the weight of the work caused my eyes to close and my body to sink onto the floor underneath my desk to get relief from the heaviness I felt. It would only take about 10 minutes to muster up the determination to go back up to the desk to get the job done but I knew that the life I was living was not exactly energizing.

So I made a change.

Left the job and went into business. Purchased a franchised territory selling window treatments and have been doing this work ever since. Granted this new work I do is without a doubt the hardest I have ever done and there are days when I want to scream—really loud—but I have never once crawled underneath my desk.

Dimming down is not an option in what I do now even though at times and especially when new growing pains emerge that I think to myself–should I or is it possible that I might just want to start dimming down?

I’ve come to the conclusion that dimming down is a way of life. It just is. Because all of us approach life from a different perspective. Some approach life calmly, unassumingly, subtly floating through each day with a very peaceful soothing aura. And those with this approach aren’t necessarily dimming down.
They are likely lighting up–lighting up the path along their journey and people who have the opportunity to know them are blessed to be part of the experience.

There are others who spring through life with boundless energy. They jump over obstacles and overcome setbacks and although discouragement blocks them on occasion they keep moving. These people are not dimming down either. They are lighting up. They are purposeful and admirable. They light paths not only for themselves but encourage others to do the same.

Still others approach life from a very pragmatic perspective. They have ups and they have downs. They jump over hurdles only to find another one. They have some smoothness in their path but they also get blocked by big boulders.They stop and examine the boulders in order to find a way to conquer each one. It’s never about being defeated by the boulder–only about conquering. These people are not dimming down. They are lighting the way for themselves and motivate others who have fallen off their own paths.

So where are you?

Are you dimming down? Living a life that you know is not really right for you and is wearing you out? If that is the case, why are you doing it? What keeps you chained to the weight of the life you are living? Is there some very small change you could make that just might change the path for you? It only needs to be small–not gigantic.

There are circumstances that come up in life–trenches, boulders, ditches, rabbit holes, that keep us immobilized.
Yet even in life battles we still have a choice on the approach we take when it comes to living the way we want to.

We’re either dimming down.

Or lighting up.

No way is right and no way is wrong.

It is always up to you.


Sunday, July 9th, 2017

Trust yourself first.

If you don’t follow your gut and follow your basic instincts who do you think you should be listening to?

Is there someone out there who knows all the answers to make your life easier to live?

Is there another person you know who knows everything there is to know about you better than you?

And even if there was an all knowing individual out there who you consider to be the supreme know-it-all about you and you did everything they told you to do, would the results be any better than what you create for yourself?

You need to trust yourself first and foremost. Many of us who have been in abusive and otherwise disappointing relationships have had great difficulty trusting ourselves. Many of us learned in childhood that we couldn’t trust our hearts, our thoughts, our instincts, nothing. We were led to believe that we didn’t have any idea what was best for us and so because of this have struggled in adulthood to reverse this self defeating mindset.

If we all trusted ourselves deeply on the inside rather than seeking outward advice and approval there would be less pain and suffering and more joy. When we seek answers from outside ourselves we get into trouble because we lose who we are. We’ve got the answers; we’ve just got to trust that we do!

I have spent years of my life in difficult relationships and in some instances put myself and my family in danger because I refused to listen to my gut. It took me far longer than it ever should have to extricate myself from painful relationships simply because I refused to consistently pay attention to my instincts.

If you have related to others who have led you to believe you can’t trust in you, distance yourself from these people or if that’s not possible, stand up to them by standing up and acknowledging the power within you.

People who tell you you don’t know what you are talking about or that you didn’t see what you saw or didn’t hear what you heard, or don’t know what you know to be true are gas lighting you and that practice is insidious.

People who do this will wear you down so be prepared to consistently resist their attempts to throw you off track. Come back to you and ask yourself if what you heard feels right to you or if it feels off. If it feels off accept that it does, don’t question that! Do question the other person though. Ask them hard questions. Ask them the questions you’re afraid to ask because you don’t want to rock the boat. Ask them the questions that you know you need to ask. Let them know who you are. If you are afraid to ask the hard questions or don’t want to let them know who you really are and what you really want, why in the world would you want to continue on with this person?

As you gain momentum and consistently maintain your power from within, you will find that those others who want you to cast doubt in yourself start distancing themselves from you OR they will straighten up their act. Don’t however, hold your breath as they are not likely to clean up their game to keep you in their life. It’s too easy to find other people who will easily and willingly become their prey.

No Contact

The Last Minute

Sunday, June 28th, 2015

The last minute is too late to do anything that you might have done with more


In that  last minute take a deep breath and slow down.

You will think better and give more to whatever it is that needs to be done.

No Contact

Don’t Let Digs Get You Down

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

If someone throws a dig at you face the remark squarely.

If someone throws a dig your way, ask the questions you need to ask.

You will lose sleep, get depressed, get down on yourself if you don’t get to the bottom of whatever it is that was said.

The worst question is the one not asked.

Relationships are ruined by things that are left unsaid and in particular, the unasked questions.

If you don’t get an answer press to get one.

If it’s not safe to press, question why you are still around.

No Contact

If it’s not safe to press you are likely not where you need to be.


A Happy Heart Beams

Tuesday, September 10th, 2013

A happy heart beams. A broken heart is hard to live with–breathing is difficult. Broken hearts are heavy making them difficult to carry around. Sometimes the heart is so heavy it’s impossible to move.

Guard your heart. Keep it beaming as best you can. When it beams your load is light not at all like the weight of a heavy heart.

Keep those around who smile upon your heart. Let go of those  who wound the heart over and over as the burden of having them around will weigh your heart down.

No Contact

Weighted Down

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

If you have ever experienced life as so heavy it feels like you will either suffocate or collapse from the load, you know the feeling of being weighted down.

When life becomes hard and heavy it can affect the way you carry yourself–you may feel the heaviness in your back and shoulders even though you aren’t physically straining yourself.

Your ability to think may be compromised. Your thoughts are scattered; it’s hard to focus. There are things that need to be done but you have no idea where to start or don’t have the energy to start.

You may notice the flatness in your voice or others may comment on it. You may still smile but it is often forced because you know that a smile will get you through the day better than a frown.

Deep down you realize you are not living the way you want to.

You are aware that things need to change but you don’t have any idea what to do to make it happen.

You are weighted down.

If you maintain status quo it is very likely that the weight you carry will continue and it will get harder and harder to feel relief. You can continue to lug it around for awhile maybe even years but unless you face that it exists the weight will drag you down in ways that hurt you emotionally mentally and physically.

If you believe the weight you carry is necessary in the present time and immediate future there are things you can do to lessen the load. Get assistance with the burden. Even a small reduction can make a difference.

Find a good massage therapist–seriously.

Seek counseling.

Find community assistance.

There are people who will offer guidance and even a listening ear.

Here are a couple of resources:

Don’t go it alone.



Overcoming Depression

Sunday, February 10th, 2013

Please click on link below:


Taking a Stand Out of Deep Conviction

Saturday, November 19th, 2011

When you take a stand out of deep conviction, people know. They may not even agree, but they ask, ‘Do I want someone who is willing to take a hard stand and someone I can trust to do that when the chips are down?’ They want that.

Barbara Boxer

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.

Lena Home

Being Self-Destructive

Sunday, November 14th, 2010

To sit back and push away and deal with it sometime down the road is dishonest and self-destructive.     Russell Train