Posts Tagged ‘difficult’

Trust

Sunday, July 9th, 2017

Trust yourself first.

If you don’t follow your gut and follow your basic instincts who do you think you should be listening to?

Is there someone out there who knows all the answers to make your life easier to live?

Is there another person you know who knows everything there is to know about you better than you?

And even if there was an all knowing individual out there who you consider to be the supreme know-it-all about you and you did everything they told you to do, would the results be any better than what you create for yourself?

You need to trust yourself first and foremost. Many of us who have been in abusive and otherwise disappointing relationships have had great difficulty trusting ourselves. Many of us learned in childhood that we couldn’t trust our hearts, our thoughts, our instincts, nothing. We were led to believe that we didn’t have any idea what was best for us and so because of this have struggled in adulthood to reverse this self defeating mindset.

If we all trusted ourselves deeply on the inside rather than seeking outward advice and approval there would be less pain and suffering and more joy. When we seek answers from outside ourselves we get into trouble because we lose who we are. We’ve got the answers; we’ve just got to trust that we do!

I have spent years of my life in difficult relationships and in some instances put myself and my family in danger because I refused to listen to my gut. It took me far longer than it ever should have to extricate myself from painful relationships simply because I refused to consistently pay attention to my instincts.

If you have related to others who have led you to believe you can’t trust in you, distance yourself from these people or if that’s not possible, stand up to them by standing up and acknowledging the power within you.

People who tell you you don’t know what you are talking about or that you didn’t see what you saw or didn’t hear what you heard, or don’t know what you know to be true are gas lighting you and that practice is insidious.

People who do this will wear you down so be prepared to consistently resist their attempts to throw you off track. Come back to you and ask yourself if what you heard feels right to you or if it feels off. If it feels off accept that it does, don’t question that! Do question the other person though. Ask them hard questions. Ask them the questions you’re afraid to ask because you don’t want to rock the boat. Ask them the questions that you know you need to ask. Let them know who you are. If you are afraid to ask the hard questions or don’t want to let them know who you really are and what you really want, why in the world would you want to continue on with this person?

As you gain momentum and consistently maintain your power from within, you will find that those others who want you to cast doubt in yourself start distancing themselves from you OR they will straighten up their act. Don’t however, hold your breath as they are not likely to clean up their game to keep you in their life. It’s too easy to find other people who will easily and willingly become their prey.

No Contact

Life Challenges

Saturday, October 24th, 2015

Life challenges often feel heavy and unbearable.

Keep focused on the journey.

To focus on the outcome makes the wait more difficult and can discourage you to

the point where you give up.

There are always new discoveries along the challenge path. These discoveries prepare you for each new step.

Stick with each new discovery one moment at a time.

Your feet may want you to hurry along. Tell them–not so fast. Make your feet wait for your mind to process the learning taking place in the here and now.

No Contact

Our Best Teachers

Sunday, March 16th, 2014

The difficult people in our lives are some of our best teachers.

We don’t have to like them.

We surely don’t have to keep them around.

But upon their exit we will know we’ve learned.

Once they’re gone it’s up to us to remember the lessons we were taught so well that we never need a refresher course.

No Contact

Stand Up for You and Your Family

Saturday, July 20th, 2013

No ContactIf someone you’re close to namely a parent or other relative is in the habit of making negative remarks about you or your children be as objective as you can about whatever they say but stand up for yourself and your family.

Sometimes well meaning or maybe not so well meaning remarks are made.

A grandparent might say “Jimmy is ungrateful, he doesn’t even care that I’m here. He just ignores me.”

Jimmy  may really love having grandma come over to visit but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s sitting next to grandma hanging onto her every word. Sometimes grandma feels slighted when there is really no reason to.

Respect for elders is important but so is respect for children young adults and the middle aged.

If you’re doing all you can to see that your children treat others with respect and you do so yourself don’t let others push you or your children around. When in the presence of difficult relatives stay calm while holding your ground.

Here’s more information you may find helpful:

http://bit.ly/7HbdFE

 

 

Escaping is Difficult

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

http://bit.ly/uQPb1T

Thinking

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe