Posts Tagged ‘depressed’

Battles We Wage With Ourselves

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

Our biggest battles are the ones we wage with ourselves.

We become frustrated, depressed, sad, and angry because of mistakes we’ve made

or ways in which we feel we’ve said or done the wrong things.

It’s much easier for us to forgive the actions of others or at the very least understand

the reasoning for what was said or done by someone else.

We downplay our accomplishments and wonder why no matter what we do or say it is

never enough.

We MUST celebrate our accomplishments no matter how small WE think they are.

If we don’t acknowledge the steps we take in life we will not see the value of what we do

and neither will anyone else.

Celebrate for yourself.

Acknowledgement is powerful.

We are here a short time and the more we celebrate

the sweeter the journey.

Stand up for yourself always. Wage battle only when necessary.

If you make a mistake get back up, right away, instead of beating yourself up.

Avoid harshly judging yourself as it will only make you feel worse about the situation.

Be kind to yourself and think of practical ways you can do better next time the situation comes up.

If someone was harmed as a result of your mistake ask for their forgiveness.

Don’t waste time worrying about something you can’t change.

Move forward beginning today.

No Contact

 

Alone for the Holidays

Sunday, December 20th, 2015

Alone for the holidays is doable and in some cases a good alternative.Going through a divorce, kids with the ex, no family around, put a positive spin on this opportunity to take care of yourself.

The biggest battle we face this time of year is with the media.
Newspapers, radio, tv, internet…the holidays are pretty hard to miss.

The media works to convince us that alone is downright ridiculous during the holidays and is in no way a desirable alternative.

But that’s not true.

If your situation is one in which it is likely that you will spend time alone you can wallow in pity or pull yourself up by your bootstraps and enjoy the time you have to yourself.

It’s a matter of perspective.

If you’re a TV watcher and don’t want to stop watching, turn down the sound when the Hallmark moments come on.

Those commercials can pluck away at your heartstrings and cause you to feel miserable. Turn them off or silence them.

A great alternative is Netflix or dvd’s.

If possible go out and see the lights. You might think this is counterproductive but it’s actually fun and gets you up and doing something. But if it’s not your cup of tea…

Make a meal, a good one but maybe not the Christmas type. Use your imagination.

Take a trip, nearby or distant.

Take a luxurious bubble bath.

Give yourself a manicure.

Watch non holiday movies or holiday movies that are hilarious such as Christmas Vacation.

I’ve spent holidays alone and made a point of planning ahead as to how I was going to treat myself and looked forward to it.

We have the power to make or break each day we’re given no matter when it is. This time of year is no exception. No Contact

On Being Stood Up

Saturday, February 21st, 2015

Have you ever been stood up for a date, event, or social gathering you planned with one or more people? Are you an employer who has been stood up by a job interviewee? How did you feel about it?

Ask yourself this: if the shoe were on the other foot would you be a no show? If you would, then most likely you don’t mind when others do the same to you. If on the other hand, you’re not cool with planning, preparing, anticipating and then waiting for one or more who don’t come through, you’ll feel the disappointment and frustration in your gut.

Being stood up by a friend, date, partner, spouse, etc.  should happen exactly once. How long does it take to make a quick call to let someone know you can’t make it? My guess is the call could take as little as thirty seconds.

If you easily forgive or dismiss it when you’re stood up a first time you’re nearly guaranteed it will happen again.

We teach people how to treat us. If we consistently overlook poor treatment by others, they do take notice. It would be nice if everyone we meet and develop friendships and relationships with treated us fairly all the time but the truth is, people will fail us; that’s the way life is.

To minimize the chances of being stood up more than once, acknowledge it for what it is–don’t let it slide. Let the other person know you don’t like it and will not tolerate it. Many of us overlook too often and when we shouldn’t. We get used to accommodating the needs of others and would rather keep the peace at any price than risk losing a connection with another person.

Does this mean we are forced to become rigid and unforgiving. NO! It means we show others who we are and how we want to be treated.

Get used to asking for what you want.

Get used to showing others who you are.

Expect respect.

No Contact

If at First You Don’t Succeed

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

If at first you don’t succeed

If at second you don’t succeed

If at third you don’t succeed

If at fourth you don’t succeed

If at fifth you don’t succeed

Reevaluate your strategy

You are likely very close but just missing one or

two key elements that will help you move forward.

At the brink of failure things often turn around

You will never know if you quit.

Quitting puts a period where there might have been an exclamation

point.

Life is full of periods.

We have to fight for our exclamation points.

Don’t give up!

Following My Dream Part Two

Tuesday, November 19th, 2013

Note: Today is the second of a three part post written by Shannon, a life long friend of mine. Her story is one I thought you would want to read about and be inspired by.

We all have dreams and want to follow those dreams wherever they take us but making changes in our lives can be tough especially when getting through daily life can often be a big challenge. I asked Shannon to share her story  so in this three part blog post Shannon talks about her dream and how she went about achieving it.

Following My Dream Part Two

By Shannon H.

When God Closes the Door He Opens a Window

Although I loved my job I could feel that something was changing and not for the better. I felt as though I was being eased out but did not know why.  I started to work harder and harder but the feeling did not ease. Finally after a year of this I was told during my job review that I was not professional enough and that she (my boss) felt I did not really want to be there. This–after starting several new projects, joining a committee and completing a long-term project. What???? After 12 years all of a sudden I was not professional enough? My boss was unable to cite anything that I had done that was unprofessional. It was just a feeling she said she had. I know now that there was office politics involved. I was devastated. It was the worst summer of my life as I tried everything I could think of to hang on to this job that I had loved but knew in my heart I needed to develop a plan “B”. One day during this time I was coming out of a bookstore when a book caught my eye. It was on the miracles of middle age and was on sale for only $3.00. I knew it was a sign and I grabbed it and read it in one night. It spoke to me in a big way. While reading it I remembered that it was possible to get certified to teach English overseas and that there was a program in my hometown.  Wow there was an idea; I could get paid to live overseas.

 

The next day I went to the language school and enrolled in the TEFL program they had. I arranged to divide the courses in to three terms allowing me to attend in the mornings before work. I would have my certificate in 8 months and would then quit my job. I didn’t tell anyone about my plan as I was still trying to hang on to my job. However it was not to be. Half way into the language program I tried to request medical leave due to stress from the past few months. I had the accumulated time to do it but was let go immediately and told not to come back into the office.

 

I was devastated but one of my favorite sayings has always been when God closes the door he opens a window. And I truly believe that! I still felt crushed but continued forward and received my certificate for teaching English. The school directly hired me as they also had an English Language Institute. By this point I felt that I had been pushed into a river and had the choice of trying to swim against the current or go with the flow no matter how scared I was. And believe me, I was scared!  But God had made sure that the only direction I could go was forward by ending my job.

 

I continued to swim with the flow even when immersed in self-doubt. This was a total change of profession for me. What would I do with my house? Where would I get a job having no experience? I knew that the job for me at the institute was only another steppingstone. It did not give me enough teaching hours or pay.

Next Post:  How I Ended Up Living in Saudi Arabia

No Contact 

Reprogram Self Talk

Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

If you believe life will not get better and that you do not have what it takes to move forward successfully in relationships, career, or in any other way it’s time to reprogram your self talk.

Being in destructive relationships includes the one you’re in with yourself. When you have been put down, badgered, belittled, ignored, or physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually abused, it is easy to believe that you cannot do anything right or are not as good as others.

It is easy to think this way because at some point in your life or maybe throughout life you have listened to others who have told you that you are some how defective or are missing something and because of this will always  fail.

If whatever you believe and/or whatever recording you play over and over in your head is negative that noise can be deafening.  Silence the noise by playing a new recording–one that is positive uplifting and accurate. Memorize this recording and play it loud. Write it out and stick it to a wall where you will see it every day. So for instance, if the recording you play is: I’m a loser and will never ever make it in life; change it to: I am smart and strong and I will have a great life!

Start playing the new recording today. Play it over and over until you believe it. When the old negative recording starts to creep back into your thoughts focus on drowning it out with the new vibrant positive one.

Instead of being your own worst enemy concentrate on being your best friend. Don’t let ghosts from the past and naysayers in the present have power over the way you view yourself!

No Contact

Break the Silence

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

No ContactDo you feel that you have been silenced? Do you want to break the silence?

When we let others drown out our voice we are silenced.

When we let others command our attention to the point where we are moved to silence, we lose our voice.

When we give up our voice because we are afraid or it’s not worth the energy it would take to stand up and be heard, we lose our voice.

We might quietly decide that our words have less value than those of a partner who is quicker to speak and louder than we are.

Those who speak quicker and louder do so to keep you silent.

Keeping their mouths open assures that yours stays shut.

Your voice needs to be heard.

Your voice will increase in volume once you allow it to be heard.

If you have been conditioned to be silent you must find the inner strength to overcome this conditioning. Practice daily stating your opinion. Offer your opinion up when you feel it is safe to do so.

Write daily in a diary writing about  how you feel re: issues that come up for you. Get used to looking to yourself for answers instead of believing that you can’t trust your decisions.

Slowly, as you begin to believe in your own value others around you will take notice.

Post a notice to yourself  where you will see it every day–I AM SMART STRONG & COURAGEOUS. I HAVE VALUE & I BELIEVE IN ME.  Incorporate this into your personhood. If it’s not safe to post this memorize and say to your self on a daily basis.

If you are feeling threatened bullied defeated and are giving up your voice for the sake of another please resist the urge to continue on in this manner.

For help please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

1.800. 799. SAFE (7233)

Weighted Down

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

If you have ever experienced life as so heavy it feels like you will either suffocate or collapse from the load, you know the feeling of being weighted down.

When life becomes hard and heavy it can affect the way you carry yourself–you may feel the heaviness in your back and shoulders even though you aren’t physically straining yourself.

Your ability to think may be compromised. Your thoughts are scattered; it’s hard to focus. There are things that need to be done but you have no idea where to start or don’t have the energy to start.

You may notice the flatness in your voice or others may comment on it. You may still smile but it is often forced because you know that a smile will get you through the day better than a frown.

Deep down you realize you are not living the way you want to.

You are aware that things need to change but you don’t have any idea what to do to make it happen.

You are weighted down.

If you maintain status quo it is very likely that the weight you carry will continue and it will get harder and harder to feel relief. You can continue to lug it around for awhile maybe even years but unless you face that it exists the weight will drag you down in ways that hurt you emotionally mentally and physically.

If you believe the weight you carry is necessary in the present time and immediate future there are things you can do to lessen the load. Get assistance with the burden. Even a small reduction can make a difference.

Find a good massage therapist–seriously.

Seek counseling.

Find community assistance.

There are people who will offer guidance and even a listening ear.

Here are a couple of resources:

http://bit.ly/12hFhbZ

http://bit.ly/ZUfi7O

Don’t go it alone.

 

 

As It Should Be

Friday, March 1st, 2013

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.” –Anne Frank

Sink or Soar

Friday, February 1st, 2013

I walked into a room the other day and immediately felt four eyes on me–and when I looked up, sure enough they were. I didn’t like it and for a brief moment felt self-conscious but switched that feeling off in about 10 seconds. It was none of my business what they were  saying so I let it go–fast!

If you catch yourself in a similar situation and wondering what are they saying about me, change your thinking quickly–in seconds, because the reality is it doesn’t matter.

You are in charge of your thoughts and feelings. It is your job to pick yourself up because in that moment you can sink or soar.

Sinking will cost you much more in the long run.

Make the choice to soar.