Posts Tagged ‘decisions’

Where You Should Be & Door Knocking

Sunday, August 28th, 2016

No ContactHave you ever wondered if where you are is where you should be?

I mean, we can wonder about everything we do and the decisions we make as it relates to us and the truth is we’ll probably never know for sure if we’ve got it all exactly right. So if we weren’t where we are now, where else would we be? What would we do? Who would be in our lives? What would life look like?

We all have times when we question our direction. Yet if we are spiritual (and that is certainly different for everyone) have faith in that spirituality and are moving forward by living life in a way we feel good about, we’re most definitely on a positive path.

If I were homeless, with no means of support, no friends or family near by—I would have serious doubts about whether or not I was in the right place. In fact I’d make a point of doing whatever I could to change my situation by coming up with a plan and working on it daily.

There have been times in my life when I’ve faced setbacks and have struggled economically, emotionally, and spiritually. Each time has been frustrating primarily because I didn’t know for sure if the smart move was to stay on the current path or choose a different one.

Sometimes we are fearful or uncertain no matter what we do so the goal becomes to move forward daily day by gathering information setting goals and eventually getting our nerve up to knock on a few doors. We might get to the first one and it slams shut. That’s okay, we just try another one. If we get the same result we continue to try again and again and again.

Some decide it’s too discouraging so abandon knocking on any more doors. Others keep trudging on. Not giving up is the American way, right? Sure staying the course despite rejection builds character yet at some point it’s a good idea to step back and consider whether it’s possible we’re trying to open the wrong doors. (more…)

Trust What You Think

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2016

There are times when we don’t think we are thinking clearly about a variety of things. This may be a result of not making enough choices early in life or because others have regularly questioned the choices we have made.

Our decision making process is unique to us and our situation. It doesn’t make our decision a bad one if another person or ten people wouldn’t make the same choice–it just means our decision is different from what someone else might choose based on multiple factors.

Trust your ability to know what is right for you. It takes practice faith and belief in yourself to do this especially when you’ve been put down and or ridiculed but to move to the life you seek you will need to pull yourself up and out of the mindset that you don’t know what you’re doing or can’t make good choices.

You can but it takes practice. Take it one decision at a time.

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Uncomfortable

Tuesday, December 15th, 2015

The number one reason I was able to finally leave the destructive relationships I found myself in was that I forced myself to get used to uncomfortable.

The thing that keeps us in what isn’t good for us is that even though we know it’s not good, we’re familiar with it and know how to live in it.

It may not be good but getting up day after day and knowing what to expect even if it’s bad gives us a sense of normalcy that we crave.

One of the first big decisions I made when I left my marriage was to buy a new home.

Walking into the realtor’s office by myself felt very uncomfortable.

I felt like a fish out of water and completely alone.

It seemed so abnormal to make the big decision I was about to make.

I thought–I can’t do this and shouldn’t be here. I need  help!

But there I was and looking around I realized I was the only one there to make the decision and it had to be done;

so I did it.

I felt less uncomfortable as I walked out of that office.

I felt uncomfortable with more decisions I made in the coming weeks months and years but I got used to making decisions and as time went on realized that the only way to get comfortable was to continue to make decisions–small medium and big ones.

The result was that over time the uncomfortableness I’d felt early on became my new comfort zone.

I trusted the decisions I was making.

Other people saw the difference in me–the confidence that came through.

I would not have grown into the person I am today without forcing myself to get uncomfortable.

Next time you think–oh no, I can’t do this or this is way too big a decision for me to make–

think again.

Get used to it.

Accept it.

Own your decisions.

Your time is now.

No Contact

 

Get Used to Uncomfortable

Saturday, February 14th, 2015

The number one reason I was able to finally leave the destructive relationships I found myself in was that I forced myself to get used to uncomfortable.

The thing that keeps us in what isn’t good for us is that even though we know it’s not good, we’re familiar with it and know how to live in it.

It may not be good but getting up day after day and knowing what to expect even if it’s bad gives us a sense of normalcy that we crave.

One of the first big decisions I made when I left my marriage was to buy a new home.

Walking into the realtor’s office by myself felt very uncomfortable.

I felt like a fish out of water and completely alone.

It seemed so abnormal to make the big decision I was about to make.

I thought–I can’t do this and shouldn’t be here. I need  help!

But there I was and looking around I realized I was the only one there to make the decision and it had to be done;

so I did it.

I felt less uncomfortable as I walked out of that office.

I felt uncomfortable with more decisions I made in the coming weeks months and years but I got used to making decisions and as time went on realized that the only way to get comfortable was to continue to make decisions–small medium and big ones.

The result was that over time the uncomfortableness I’d felt early on became my new comfort zone.

I trusted the decisions I was making.

Other people saw the difference in me–the confidence that came through.

I would not have grown into the person I am today without forcing myself to get uncomfortable.

Next time you think–oh no, I can’t do this or this is way too big a decision for me to make–

think again.

Get used to it.

Accept it.

Own your decisions.

Your time is now.

No Contact

 

On Being Liked & What Mom Thinks

Sunday, July 20th, 2014

If you are living your life like the rest of us you probably hope that most of the people you are close to in your life actually like you. Everyone else – you’re not too bothered by whether they like you or not.

The thing you may be more concerned about with casual acquaintances is their approval rating. How do you rank with them in terms of the decisions you make, the way you do your work, etc.

None of us may want to admit it; but walking around in daily life, we look for approval. Maybe not so much that we’ve got to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the things we do are acceptable but more that what we do is in line with what other people would do if they were in our shoes.

I was talking with my mom awhile back and she let me know that she thinks  my life is too fast paced and that I will wear myself out in no time at all.

I would like to say that what she had to say didn’t bother me but the reality is this is mom and what she says makes a difference to me.

So I told her that she’s right, my life is fast paced because I have  a new business (now with it two years–still new) and have to learn lots of new information and remember what I already know. She’s saying okay, I see, uh huh. But I know she still thinks I’m too busy.

I took note of what she said and will think about things I can do to give me more time to relax.

After all, this is mom talking. She may not like my chosen career (she says she wouldn’t work in sales on a bet) and she may not completely understand why I’m doing it but she respects that I made the decision to do it.

On wanting to be liked–I’d rather be liked than hated but when it gets right down to it, being liked by others is nice but I’d rather be liked by me and those close to me which Mom is among those at the top of that list.

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New Partner Choices

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

The best choices for partners are people who are most like us. If we don’t have to alter our likes and dislikes to suit the whims of a new partner we are closer to being on the right track than if we alter our natural self to meet the expectations of someone new.

 

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You’re Responsible

Thursday, February 27th, 2014

Knowing that you’re 100% responsible for your life forces you to pay closer attention to the actions you take and closer attention to your thoughts in a given situation. Are you going to make your decisions with a little or a lot of thought? If little thought goes into your decisions it shouldn’t be surprising if the outcome is less than what you’d hoped for. If you pour a lot of thought into your decisions and the outcome is still not what you’d hoped it would be maybe you spent too much time weighing the opinions of others and less about following your gut.

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100% Responsible

Wednesday, January 8th, 2014

Knowing that you’re 100% responsible for your life forces you to pay closer attention to the actions you take and closer attention to your thoughts in a given situation. Are you going to make your decisions with a little or a lot of thought? If little thought goes into your decisions it shouldn’t be surprising if the outcome is less than what you’d hoped for. If you pour a lot of thought into your decisions and the outcome is still not what you’d hoped it would be maybe you spent too much time weighing the opinions of others and less about following your gut.

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Destructive Partnership Dynamics

Friday, April 26th, 2013

This isn’t an all inclusive list of traits associated with partners but it gives an example of the dynamic that can play out in these relationships:

Partner #1                                       Partner #2

Overpowers                                     Accommodates

Forces will on others                       Builds others up, encourages, supportive

Self-serving                                      Selfless

Fast Talkers                                     Good Listeners

Charismatic                                      Passive, Unsure

Take Charge                                    Defer to Others

Shows Confidence                           Self-Conscious

Opportunistic                                   Altruistic

Rule Breaker                                    Rule Enforcer

Emotionally Flat                               Emotionally Expressive

Anti-Social                                       Sociable

Emotionally Unavailable                  Available

Not much hope for success in a relationship with these two partners. Always wise to pay attention to partner traits early on and address them. Allowing the dynamic to continue is a recipe for misery.

 

Making Mistakes

Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

If you can’t make a mistake, you can’t make anything. — Marva Collins