Posts Tagged ‘dangerous’

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018

No ContactFEAR

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

When we fear something we believe with all our might that our fear is real.

We absolutely and positively believe that our fear is stopping us from doing stupid, ridiculous, and even dangerous things.

And sometimes it is true that we can have fear about things that we are wise to be fearful of but many things we are scared of are not really things we should be afraid of.

So what is it about fear that puts this stranglehold on us?

We fear that something terrible is going to happen to us if we do this one thing.

For me, making customer service calls to my past customers, is something I dread.

I believe that by calling my past customers and asking them how they like the window treatments I sold them that they will call me names, swear at me, or hang up.

I also think that when I ask these same customers if they have received compliments in regards to the window treatments I sold them that they will accuse me of trying to get referrals from them and refuse to give them to me.

And if they did accuse me of trying to get referrals from them the truth is I do want to encourage them to help me speak to other who people I may be able to help because I love what I do and I sincerely believe I can help their friends and family.

And even if my past customers call me names, swear at me or hang up on me, I will survive. None of those things will cause me bodily harm or injure me in any way.

And there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with me calling my past customers, asking them how they are doing, how the window treatments are working, and if they have received compliments.

Yet I believe what I am doing by calling my customers is somehow wrong or bad and I will come up with any excuse to avoid making those calls.

I would go so far as to say that I could see me losing my business just because I am afraid of making those calls.

So I’ve decided that in order to prove to myself that I can get past my blocks and make the dreaded calls to my past customers I am going to aim to make 50 calls by the end of this month. If I make 5 calls a day it is totally doable for me to make 50 calls in 10 days. So I will update you at the end of this month.

What do you fear? What is your block? Is it a real genuine fear or is it False Evidence Appearing Real?

Nice

Monday, December 12th, 2016

From an early age we’re taught to be nice and play nice. Some of us learn this lesson very well. In fact, we tend to overlook poor behavior and/or physical/emotional abuse because we don’t believe we have the right to question things that are said or done.

There is a time for being nice and playing nice and yes, absolutely, we generally want to treat others with dignity and respect. But sometimes playing nice hurts and deeply affects not only us but our children and others we are close to. When we buy stock in the words and actions of a partner out of fear, intimidation, to have a roof over our head, or to keep our children clothed and fed we rob ourselves and families of dignity and hope for the present and the future.

Are you ever nice in order to keep people in your life?
Do you sometimes look the other way when you see an action or hear words that are not right or are cause for alarm?
Do you pretend that things are okay and go along with the status quo rather than take actions that may be uncomfortable but in the long run could help you?

I spent much of my life living in the too nice mode. I feared leaving or losing a partner because life without a partner was uncertain.The uncertainty of the future often kept me in the turmoil of the present. That present included people who behaved poorly and often mistreated me and my family. They were angry and frustrated and took their feelings out on others simply because they could get away with it.

Partners who hold you captive with words and actions hope you will continue to forgive them. They say sweet words when they believe you might leave. They might buy you nice things to distract and convince you it will never happen again.

But it usually does happen again in one way or another. You question whether what was done was really abuse. Maybe you’re just overreacting and thingsĀ  aren’t that bad. Sometimes that is the case but pay attention to your gut; it knows.

Most of the time people who create havoc and craziness in relationships are damaged people who damage other people. They likely seek people they believe will lift their boundaries or discard them altogether.

When you live with the anything goes mentality you might question things that are said or done but usually go with the flow rather than disrupt it because you want to avoid confrontation. (more…)

Too Nice?

Monday, December 31st, 2012

From an early age we’re taught to be nice and play nice. Some of us learn this lesson very well. In fact, we tend to overlook poor behavior and/or physical/emotional abuse because we don’t believe we have the right to question things that are said or done.

There is a time for being nice and playing nice and yes, absolutely, we generally want to treat others with dignity and respect. But sometimes playing nice hurts and deeply affects not only us but our children and others we are close to. When we buy stock in the words and actions of a partner out of fear, intimidation, to have a roof over our head, or to keep our children clothed and fed we rob ourselves and families of dignity and hope for the present and the future.

Are you ever nice in order to keep people in your life?
Do you sometimes look the other way when you see an action or hear words that are not right or are cause for alarm?
Do you pretend that things are okay and go along with the status quo rather than take actions that may be uncomfortable but in the long run could help you?

I spent much of my life living in the too nice mode. I feared leaving or losing a partner because life without a partner was uncertain.The uncertainty of the future often kept me in the turmoil of the present. That present included people who behaved poorly and often mistreated me and my family. They were angry and frustrated and took their feelings out on others simply because they could get away with it.

Partners who hold you captive with words and actions hope you will continue to forgive them. They say sweet words when they believe you might leave. They might buy you nice things to distract and convince you it will never happen again.

But it usually does happen again in one way or another. You question whether what was done was really abuse. Maybe you’re just overreacting and thingsĀ  aren’t that bad. Sometimes that is the case but pay attention to your gut; it knows.

Most of the time people who create havoc and craziness in relationships are damaged people who damage other people. They likely seek people they believe will lift their boundaries or discard them altogether.

When you live with the anything goes mentality you might question things that are said or done but usually go with the flow rather than disrupt it because you want to avoid confrontation. (more…)

When Daughter’s Boyfriend is Dangerous

Thursday, June 28th, 2012

http://bit.ly/QomAg1