Posts Tagged ‘courage’

We Are Righter than We Think

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

We all spend so much time second guessing ourselves even when there is no real good reason to do so. It would be beneficial to us to understand that we are really and truly righter than we think.

We think we don’t know as much as we wish we did but in fact know more than we ever thought we could.

We think other people have things all figured out when they know absolutely no more than we do about the best way to live.

It’s always easier to look at someone else’s experience and instinctively know what they should be doing but when it comes right down to it if we were in their shoes would we really make a better choice?

No we would not because we are not them and have absolutely no idea what it is like to be them!

Life is a series of conversations decisions and actions.

We can have a conversation make a decision and take an action that may prove not to be in our best interests and based on that one decision decide that we are not good at knowing what is best for us.

That logic is unfair to us.

Each decision we make is a step forward in life.

The decision may cause us to go backward but if it does in the long run it will help us move forward because of the knowledge and wisdom we will gain from having relived something a second or third time.

The trick is to be aware of the road we are traveling on.

To be aware that we’ve been down this road before and examine why we find ourselves back there again.

Awareness is powerful. The more aware we are the more likely we will lean toward a different decision than we have made in the past.

If we blindly end up at the same crossroads yet don’t see that we are there we have a much bigger problem.

Awareness is key.

Reflection is paramount but not so much reflection that we decide we can’t trust ourselves to move forward.

Just enough reflection and then onward and forward. If your gut thinks the journey you are about to embark on is ill advised it will let you know. Again–awareness is key.

Zero into your awareness.

You are righter than you think.

You’ve got yourself to where you are right now, don’t underestimate your ability to move yourself in a direction that will serve you.

No Contact

Dimming Down

Saturday, July 14th, 2018

No ContactAbout ten years ago I was not feeling real good about the work I was doing. Although the job allowed me to help people I also found it to be heavy–like two tons of brick on my back. I knew that I was going to need to change something because in my very own life I was dimming down. I actually spent time under my desk over the course of the workweek because the weight of the work caused my eyes to close and my body to sink onto the floor underneath my desk to get relief from the heaviness I felt. It would only take about 10 minutes to muster up the determination to go back up to the desk to get the job done but I knew that the life I was living was not exactly energizing.

So I made a change.

Left the job and went into business. Purchased a franchised territory selling window treatments and have been doing this work ever since. Granted this new work I do is without a doubt the hardest I have ever done and there are days when I want to scream—really loud—but I have never once crawled underneath my desk.

Dimming down is not an option in what I do now even though at times and especially when new growing pains emerge that I think to myself–should I or is it possible that I might just want to start dimming down?

I’ve come to the conclusion that dimming down is a way of life. It just is. Because all of us approach life from a different perspective. Some approach life calmly, unassumingly, subtly floating through each day with a very peaceful soothing aura. And those with this approach aren’t necessarily dimming down.
They are likely lighting up–lighting up the path along their journey and people who have the opportunity to know them are blessed to be part of the experience.

There are others who spring through life with boundless energy. They jump over obstacles and overcome setbacks and although discouragement blocks them on occasion they keep moving. These people are not dimming down either. They are lighting up. They are purposeful and admirable. They light paths not only for themselves but encourage others to do the same.

Still others approach life from a very pragmatic perspective. They have ups and they have downs. They jump over hurdles only to find another one. They have some smoothness in their path but they also get blocked by big boulders.They stop and examine the boulders in order to find a way to conquer each one. It’s never about being defeated by the boulder–only about conquering. These people are not dimming down. They are lighting the way for themselves and motivate others who have fallen off their own paths.

So where are you?

Are you dimming down? Living a life that you know is not really right for you and is wearing you out? If that is the case, why are you doing it? What keeps you chained to the weight of the life you are living? Is there some very small change you could make that just might change the path for you? It only needs to be small–not gigantic.

There are circumstances that come up in life–trenches, boulders, ditches, rabbit holes, that keep us immobilized.
Yet even in life battles we still have a choice on the approach we take when it comes to living the way we want to.

We’re either dimming down.

Or lighting up.

No way is right and no way is wrong.

It is always up to you.

Find Peace Within

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

There are times when life as we know it seems to crumble all around us. During these times we are searching, fearing, and not really knowing what the right thing to do truly is. Take a deep breath let it out and
Find peace within.

When you feel others don’t understand misunderstand or seem altogether indifferent toward you, remember the value you have and
Find peace within.

If you have a project you know needs to get done but you are too tired or too anxious or you know you don’t have it in you to give it what it needs right now don’t beat yourself up but instead take a break as it will still be around later and
Find peace within.

When you find yourself way too critical of the way you look, your intelligence, your abilities, or in some other way feel inadequate and don’t measure up, give yourself a long strong hug, accept the gifts you bring to the table and
Find peace within.

When you fear the worst will happen no matter what that worst is, avoid panic, seek counsel, take a deep breath, let it out, pull together all the strength you can muster and
Find peace within.

When you are not invited
When you are turned down
When you are left alone
When you are forgotten
Or when you are ignored
Remember that you have a powerful presence deep within yourself. There is great peace within you and you alone create it. No one can take that from you.

Take pride in you as you are special despite whatever circumstances you face and that surround you.

Remember the peace that lies within you.
Blessings to you.
Find peace within you.

It is the most precious gift you can give
to you.

No Contact

Impressions

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

Have you ever been nervous to the point where you make yourself sick when it comes to thinking about the impressions you make on others? Maybe panic sets in when it comes to impressing a new boss, co-worker, friend, or relationship partner?

It’s pretty normal to be nervous in new situations like the above but don’t let panic set in and attempt to make quick changes because you feel the real you is less than remarkable. Maintain balance in your relationships with others. If you hear that voice in the back of your mind telling you that you can’t, you won’t, you’re not good enough, don’t even try; steady yourself and hold your head up high. Replace those thoughts with–I can, I will, I am good enough, I have every right to…

The battle with the negative voice is ongoing. We have to work to silence it by not giving it power. When we give that voice power we not only lose out on opportunity and relationships, we jeopardize our health and well being.

No Contact

Battles We Have With Ourselves Because of Our Mistakes

Sunday, November 16th, 2014

Our biggest battles are the ones we wage with ourselves.

We become frustrated, depressed, sad, and angry because of mistakes we’ve made

or ways in which we feel we’ve said or done the wrong things.

It’s much easier for us to forgive the actions of others or at the very least understand

the reasoning for what was said or done by someone else.

We downplay our accomplishments and wonder why no matter what we do or say it is

never enough.

We MUST celebrate our accomplishments no matter how small WE think they are.

If we don’t acknowledge the steps we take in life we will not see the value of what we do

and neither will anyone else.

Celebrate for yourself.

Acknowledgement is powerful.

We are here a short time and the more we celebrate

the sweeter the journey.

Stand up for yourself always. Wage battle only when necessary.

If you make a mistake get back up, right away, instead of beating yourself up.

Avoid harshly judging yourself as it will only make you feel worse about the situation.

Be kind to yourself and think of practical ways you can do better next time the situation comes up.

If someone was harmed as a result of your mistake ask for their forgiveness.

Don’t waste time worrying about something you can’t change.

Move forward beginning today.

No Contact

 

Women Can’t Sit Back if They Want Change

Tuesday, January 21st, 2014

Below is what Beyonce has to say:

http://on.today.com/L8361z

Here is what one 15 year old has to say:

http://bit.ly/1gHhgRL

No Contact

Following My Dream Part Two

Tuesday, November 19th, 2013

Note: Today is the second of a three part post written by Shannon, a life long friend of mine. Her story is one I thought you would want to read about and be inspired by.

We all have dreams and want to follow those dreams wherever they take us but making changes in our lives can be tough especially when getting through daily life can often be a big challenge. I asked Shannon to share her story  so in this three part blog post Shannon talks about her dream and how she went about achieving it.

Following My Dream Part Two

By Shannon H.

When God Closes the Door He Opens a Window

Although I loved my job I could feel that something was changing and not for the better. I felt as though I was being eased out but did not know why.  I started to work harder and harder but the feeling did not ease. Finally after a year of this I was told during my job review that I was not professional enough and that she (my boss) felt I did not really want to be there. This–after starting several new projects, joining a committee and completing a long-term project. What???? After 12 years all of a sudden I was not professional enough? My boss was unable to cite anything that I had done that was unprofessional. It was just a feeling she said she had. I know now that there was office politics involved. I was devastated. It was the worst summer of my life as I tried everything I could think of to hang on to this job that I had loved but knew in my heart I needed to develop a plan “B”. One day during this time I was coming out of a bookstore when a book caught my eye. It was on the miracles of middle age and was on sale for only $3.00. I knew it was a sign and I grabbed it and read it in one night. It spoke to me in a big way. While reading it I remembered that it was possible to get certified to teach English overseas and that there was a program in my hometown.  Wow there was an idea; I could get paid to live overseas.

 

The next day I went to the language school and enrolled in the TEFL program they had. I arranged to divide the courses in to three terms allowing me to attend in the mornings before work. I would have my certificate in 8 months and would then quit my job. I didn’t tell anyone about my plan as I was still trying to hang on to my job. However it was not to be. Half way into the language program I tried to request medical leave due to stress from the past few months. I had the accumulated time to do it but was let go immediately and told not to come back into the office.

 

I was devastated but one of my favorite sayings has always been when God closes the door he opens a window. And I truly believe that! I still felt crushed but continued forward and received my certificate for teaching English. The school directly hired me as they also had an English Language Institute. By this point I felt that I had been pushed into a river and had the choice of trying to swim against the current or go with the flow no matter how scared I was. And believe me, I was scared!  But God had made sure that the only direction I could go was forward by ending my job.

 

I continued to swim with the flow even when immersed in self-doubt. This was a total change of profession for me. What would I do with my house? Where would I get a job having no experience? I knew that the job for me at the institute was only another steppingstone. It did not give me enough teaching hours or pay.

Next Post:  How I Ended Up Living in Saudi Arabia

No Contact 

Ethics

Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

W. Clement Stone

Ending a Destructive Relationship

Monday, May 6th, 2013

Ten years ago I accepted an invitation to dinner with a man I was dating at the time. It was a warm Spring evening and he came to pick me up on his motorcycle. Once he got to my house, it didn’t take me long to realize he’d been drinking as I could smell it on his breath. Never-the-less,  I decided to get on the back of the bike and also chose to leave without two items I almost always take with me–my purse and phone.

Once we got to the restaurant and sat down he ordered drinks. I got a familiar sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach but chose to ignore it opting instead to go with the flow which was standard for me in this particular relationship.  After downing several beers he became obnoxiously loud and  rude with the waitperson who was serving us so was escorted out the door. I got up and walked out behind them. There were many thoughts spinning around in my head not the least of which was frustration with the fact that I was dealing with this situation at all.

Once outside the restaurant he went to get his bike and although I was used to going with the flow, I knew there was no way I would this time.

He pulled up to where I stood expecting me to hop on but I told him no. Agitated, he  said “get on the bike now!” And again I affirmed I wasn’t going to.  After a few more go-rounds of his insistence and my refusal he left. And there I stood no purse, no money, no phone and no ride home. I’m not sure why, but I elected not to go back in the restaurant to make a phone call maybe because I was too embarrassed or maybe because I just wanted to be alone. Whatever the reason, I started walking home–all twelve miles. (more…)

Destructive Partnership Dynamics

Friday, April 26th, 2013

This isn’t an all inclusive list of traits associated with partners but it gives an example of the dynamic that can play out in these relationships:

Partner #1                                       Partner #2

Overpowers                                     Accommodates

Forces will on others                       Builds others up, encourages, supportive

Self-serving                                      Selfless

Fast Talkers                                     Good Listeners

Charismatic                                      Passive, Unsure

Take Charge                                    Defer to Others

Shows Confidence                           Self-Conscious

Opportunistic                                   Altruistic

Rule Breaker                                    Rule Enforcer

Emotionally Flat                               Emotionally Expressive

Anti-Social                                       Sociable

Emotionally Unavailable                  Available

Not much hope for success in a relationship with these two partners. Always wise to pay attention to partner traits early on and address them. Allowing the dynamic to continue is a recipe for misery.