Posts Tagged ‘conversations’

We Are Righter than We Think

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

We all spend so much time second guessing ourselves even when there is no real good reason to do so. It would be beneficial to us to understand that we are really and truly righter than we think.

We think we don’t know as much as we wish we did but in fact know more than we ever thought we could.

We think other people have things all figured out when they know absolutely no more than we do about the best way to live.

It’s always easier to look at someone else’s experience and instinctively know what they should be doing but when it comes right down to it if we were in their shoes would we really make a better choice?

No we would not because we are not them and have absolutely no idea what it is like to be them!

Life is a series of conversations decisions and actions.

We can have a conversation make a decision and take an action that may prove not to be in our best interests and based on that one decision decide that we are not good at knowing what is best for us.

That logic is unfair to us.

Each decision we make is a step forward in life.

The decision may cause us to go backward but if it does in the long run it will help us move forward because of the knowledge and wisdom we will gain from having relived something a second or third time.

The trick is to be aware of the road we are traveling on.

To be aware that we’ve been down this road before and examine why we find ourselves back there again.

Awareness is powerful. The more aware we are the more likely we will lean toward a different decision than we have made in the past.

If we blindly end up at the same crossroads yet don’t see that we are there we have a much bigger problem.

Awareness is key.

Reflection is paramount but not so much reflection that we decide we can’t trust ourselves to move forward.

Just enough reflection and then onward and forward. If your gut thinks the journey you are about to embark on is ill advised it will let you know. Again–awareness is key.

Zero into your awareness.

You are righter than you think.

You’ve got yourself to where you are right now, don’t underestimate your ability to move yourself in a direction that will serve you.

No Contact

Comfort with Respect

Sunday, April 26th, 2015

Sometimes there are poor behaviors in relationships that damage an otherwise workable partnership. Maybe couples get too comfortable and consequently say things to their partners they wouldn’t dream of saying to anyone else.

It’s great to feel that kind of comfort with another person as long as you treat each other with respect whether you’re having the first or thousandth conversation.

No Contact

 

Intimidating Conversations

Friday, January 10th, 2014

It is difficult to pay attention in conversations when you feel intimidated by the other person. Are you smiling enough, is there food stuck in your teeth, do you look interested? These conversations can be intimidating.

If you feel threatened in conversations with certain people remember that whoever you’re speaking to is a human just like you.

Whether they’re the CEO of a huge company or a famous person you idolize they aren’t different from you. They have families, worries, fears, insecurities, deadlines, bills to pay etc.

If you are worrying about how they are perceiving you, you’re driven by their opinion of you.

Be authentic. You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. The person you are is perfectly acceptable and will make a better impression than any fake personality you might conjure up.

The people who intimidate you are not worth more than you, are not better than you, aren’t luckier than you, and aren’t more deserving.

Relax during conversation and own who you are. Assume that whoever you talk to already likes you because chances are they do, especially if you like yourself and show that you do.

If you are at a large gathering and must go up to others and make small talk, look for someone who appears approachable and/or you already know. It is often just that one person who can get you off to more great conversations.

No Contact

 

 

Take More Time to Pay Attention in Conversations with Others

Friday, February 8th, 2013

If we take more time to pay attention to our thoughts when in conversations with others we’re less likely to have conversations with abusers and in turn develop relationships with them. If a small voice inside you warns you, listen to the warning.

Silences

Saturday, July 2nd, 2011

Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.          Margaret Lee Runbeck

How Do You Know Things?

Monday, October 4th, 2010

How do you know what the right thing is for you to do?

What system do you use?

Do you feel the right thing in your gut? Do you hear it through conversations you have with others? Or do you hear it as a whisper upon awakening from sleep or when you’re in a relaxed state of mind?

Do you have a vision?

Do you get a hunch?

Once you know, what do you do with what you know?

Do you ponder, reflect, or do you act?

It can take me a good long while to know what the best thing is for me to do in a particular situation and once I know I usually give myself some time to savor the sense of relief I feel. I think yes! I get it–finally. My course becomes clear and I move forward.

This doesn’t mean from that point on it’s all smooth sailing but rather I know to stay the course because through all my deliberating I’ve determined the path I want to take.

So once you know, do you move forward with confidence? Do you trust what you know or do you second guess yourself?

Sometimes the easiest path which is more often than not the one with the least resistance, seems like the logical one to take.

But why? Why is easier thought to be better?

Is it because easy doesn’t require that we do harder things? Harder things sometimes make us uncomfortable because we get outside our comfort zone. Harder things are sometimes unsettling because other people in our lives don’t like it especially if these harder things disrupt the way they do things.

The only way we can know our best course of action in anything is to continue working toward resolution. We must challenge ourselves to understand what we don’t by seeking answers which we get by asking questions.

But what if solving a problem isn’t convenient or the timing is off, or there is too much going on at the present time. What happens to the thing we need to figure out?

If you choose to put your question, problem, dilemma on the back burner it’s pretty much a guarantee that the question will stay there with the flame hovering on low until something happens that causes it to ignite. When that happens the thing moves from the back burner to the front. Now you risk getting burned and once burned it’s so much more difficult to heal. In fact sometimes you can become burned to the point where your old self is beyond recognition.

So, how do you know things or perhaps the better question: When you know things do you act or do you push what you know back on the farthest burner until the flame ignites and immediate action is required?

Workplace Spoilers

Friday, September 24th, 2010

As I was driving home the other night I realized I’m lucky because my working life is relatively free of discord. Sure there are occasional misunderstandings or confusion about something said or done but overall I feel pretty good about my workplace and co-workers.

It hasn’t always been this way. I can remember one time when I started a new job and wasn’t well received. I wasn’t sure why but there were glances in my direction when I walked by and low level conversations that ended when I walked in the room. I kept thinking, “Am I going to make it here??” My first weeks in that job were definitely not pleasant. At times I felt like throwing a bag over my head or just giving up and finding my way to the nearest exit.

Before I started that job I had applied for a life insurance policy. One evening shortly after my hiring, a company sales rep. came to my home to meet with me. He had me stand on a scale. I was shocked by what I saw. I asked him if his scale was set right. He checked it out by looking at the setting then by weighing himself and assured me it was fine. I suppose under other circumstances looking at the scale would have been great news, but not this time. I had lost ten pounds and until I stepped on that scale was clueless that my weight had dropped. When I stopped to think about it I realized I hadn’t had much of an appetite since starting the job most likely because I was too nervous to eat. I’d been so caught up in trying to do well at work while struggling to gain acceptance at the same time, that I hadn’t realized how much I was letting it affect me. My weight drop was a wake-up call. I knew I had to change the way I was dealing with my new workplace or I was going to be in big trouble. (more…)

Aging and Relationships

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

I learn a lot working with the elderly. They teach me far more than anything I could teach them.

One big bonus in having close contact with this population is I get a glimpse of what the future holds as I get older. This doesn’t mean that I necessarily like what I see but it does force me to face the reality of aging and do my best to learn the from the lessons I’ve been taught. Through my observations and conversations with older individuals over 75 I’ve learned:

Those who still have their memories intact have much wisdom and knowledge if we take the time to listen.

Excessive worry when younger doesn’t help the aging mind.

Keeping the body strong while younger helps the aging body but excessive physical exertion seems to have the opposite effect.

A love of learning new things and an openness to learning new things throughout life is a definite plus.

Staying positive even when it takes much effort has long term benefits.

The elderly may be living longer but aren’t always happy about it. Losing independence dramatically decreases quality of life.

Meal time is often the most important time of the day and not just because of the food.

Visits from friends and relatives take on a whole new meaning.

Living life is about relationships and when you need them the most–they are often in short supply.

The telephone can be a big source of frustration as is any form of  gadgetry.

Many elderly people are great conversationalists and are also funny!

The comings and goings of children and grandchildren are very important!

If a loved one doesn’t remember that they saw you yesterday they still loved it while you were there.

The ability to problem solve will serve you well as you age.

You can have all the money in the world and it may make life more comfortable but it will never replace relationships.

If you have an elderly person in your life  you are fortunate. Tell them. Thank them. Seek them out. You do have time for them–make the time.

If you have an elderly person in your life with whom you can have a conversation–do it. Listen. Ask questions; pick their brain. They can tell you a lot–all you have to do is ask.

The quality of your relationships while younger will make or break you as you age.

Reflecting in Conversations

Friday, April 16th, 2010

Take some time before you respond in conversation with others. A pause of silence is an opportunity to reflect.

A Pause of Silence

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

A pause of silence to reflect when in conversation with another person gives you an opportunity to pay attention to your own thoughts.