Posts Tagged ‘confusion’

Caught Off Guard

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

Have you ever had someone you trusted catch you off guard with something they’ve said or done and your heart sinks? If so you’ve probably been caught by surprise and then fear. The surprise first and the fear second but it feels like it’s instantaneous. It’s a disturbing feeling, one that I never attached a name to until recently.

Joyful surprises are a good thing–we love them. Maybe your child picks you a bouquet of dandelions or a friend you haven’t heard from in a long time calls just to say hi. Maybe you get a compliment from a friend and it feels great. These are joyful moments.

Surprise and then fear may come in the form of an inappropriate remark directed at you from a relationship partner or a date shows up hours later than planned, shows up intoxicated, or not at all. Maybe a trusted friend says something untrue about you to others and you don’t understand why it was said and especially not by that particular person.

It could be anything and it may not even come from a person. Not too long ago I was surprised by my bedroom smoke alarm going off in the middle of the night not one night but two nights in a row. There was no fire but the first alarm triggered the rest of the alarms to go off throughout the house and I was definitely caught off guard. I felt the surprise and fear pretty much at the same time. After that second night I knew for sure it was time to change the batteries…

I’ve been told that once you acknowledge that surprise and fear can exist together, you’ll know what you’re dealing with the next time you get that sinking feeling.

No Contact


Silence in Moments of Despair or Confusion

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing…not healing, not curing…that is a friend who cares.

Henri  Nouwen  Dutch Christian writer  1932-1996


Thursday, January 6th, 2011

Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity.   Michael J. Gelb

Workplace Spoilers

Friday, September 24th, 2010

As I was driving home the other night I realized I’m lucky because my working life is relatively free of discord. Sure there are occasional misunderstandings or confusion about something said or done but overall I feel pretty good about my workplace and co-workers.

It hasn’t always been this way. I can remember one time when I started a new job and wasn’t well received. I wasn’t sure why but there were glances in my direction when I walked by and low level conversations that ended when I walked in the room. I kept thinking, “Am I going to make it here??” My first weeks in that job were definitely not pleasant. At times I felt like throwing a bag over my head or just giving up and finding my way to the nearest exit.

Before I started that job I had applied for a life insurance policy. One evening shortly after my hiring, a company sales rep. came to my home to meet with me. He had me stand on a scale. I was shocked by what I saw. I asked him if his scale was set right. He checked it out by looking at the setting then by weighing himself and assured me it was fine. I suppose under other circumstances looking at the scale would have been great news, but not this time. I had lost ten pounds and until I stepped on that scale was clueless that my weight had dropped. When I stopped to think about it I realized I hadn’t had much of an appetite since starting the job most likely because I was too nervous to eat. I’d been so caught up in trying to do well at work while struggling to gain acceptance at the same time, that I hadn’t realized how much I was letting it affect me. My weight drop was a wake-up call. I knew I had to change the way I was dealing with my new workplace or I was going to be in big trouble. (more…)