Posts Tagged ‘challenges’

Test the Water

Saturday, June 9th, 2018

When we don’t test the water we don’t know where we stand.

I was taught not to disrupt the flow and keep up the status quo.

That was poor advice but it was what I learned to do.

If we don’t test the water we don’t know just how much we can grow.

In all relationships we have a choice.

We can stay with what we know and basically tread water indefinitely.

Or we can present a challenge to self and partner. Raise the bar so to speak.

Ask for what you need and want. You are not asking for too much when you do this.
It is never too much to ask for what you want and to have your needs met–it is a sign of strength.

A true partnership is much stronger than we think. A partnership that goes untested is more fragile than one
that has faced multiple challenges.

A true valued partner provides opportunity for candid and quality conversations. They will tell you what you need
to hear, not what you want to hear. If you never get to the place where the water is tested chances are you will not meet growth
head on. And if you choose not to grow your going in the opposite direction.

No Contact

Life Challenges

Saturday, October 24th, 2015

Life challenges often feel heavy and unbearable.

Keep focused on the journey.

To focus on the outcome makes the wait more difficult and can discourage you to

the point where you give up.

There are always new discoveries along the challenge path. These discoveries prepare you for each new step.

Stick with each new discovery one moment at a time.

Your feet may want you to hurry along. Tell them–not so fast. Make your feet wait for your mind to process the learning taking place in the here and now.

No Contact

Thinking In a New Year

Sunday, January 1st, 2012

Now comes the resolutions to make:

good decisions

healthier eating choices

lose weight

and the list goes on…

What about the resolution to be kinder to you? Sometimes we concentrate very hard on what we need to do to meet the needs of others and view our own needs as a distant second.

Our needs are important. Without meeting them we will not effectively meet the challenges before us in terms of family friends work and community.

Take time for you.

Eat well, get the rest you need, and reflect.

Life is busy and at times confusing. Choices and opportunities are presented to us on a daily basis. It is up to us to pay attention to what is put in front of us and the only way we will do that is if we pay attention to what we think.

Sometimes we push our thoughts down to a level where we barely recognize them as our own. They become jumbled up with thoughts of friends, family, co-workers, employers and others.

Differentiate between what you think and what others think. Examine and reflect.

Above all don’t discount how you feel and what you think throughout your daily life.

Brace Yourself–Life Is Difficult

Sunday, October 23rd, 2011

I had the opportunity to watch a gem of a movie–The Beaver. You may want to check it out.

In the movie the main character suffers from depression. He doesn’t want to live and tries to hang himself but isn’t successful. His challenge is to engage himself in his own life, to embrace the life he has  so that ultimately he wants to live.

Life is full of challenges. There are times when we interpret these challenges to be frustrations or road blocks keeping us from living the life we want. Attitude plays a role–if we believe challenges can’t be overcome we will retreat and blame circumstances for our inability to take action.

Sometimes we want to meet a new challenge but don’t know what to do. We’ve got options but there is uncertainty tied to each one and the fear of making the wrong choice keeps us from moving forward.

At other times, as with the character in The Beaver, we give up. Life takes too much effort and despite all the positives we’ve got going don’t feel up to putting out any effort at all. If this is the case it will take more than our own effort to clear the way. Help is needed–family friends and often professional to get us back on track.

For all of us,  life is difficult. There will always be challenges and obstacles and even boredom to overcome. If you or someone you know has a zest for life and faces each day as an opportunity, you/they work on it. Facing life head on with a positive attitude is hard work but worth it.

The challenges put before us are there because that is the way life is. There are no guarantees. Living a full life with rich experiences requires taking risks.

I’d rather live life by risking  based on my best judgement than standing still and wishing I would have tried.

Life is difficult; that’s a given. How you choose to manage those difficulties is in your hands.

 

 

Keep Walking

Monday, February 28th, 2011

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.

Buddhist Proverb

Don’t Know What to Do? Take a Small Action

Monday, October 18th, 2010

One of life’s biggest challenges is not knowing what to do. Not knowing what to do is a decision to stay uncertain or in limbo. If you don’t know what to do about a certain situation, you must figure it out if it’s important to you to do so.

There are times when moving forward with a decision is squelched due to being concerned about the rightness or wrongness of a next step.

It doesn’t take long to determine if a next step is right or wrong. If it feels right you will naturally build from your previous step. If it feels wrong, you will pull back or re-route your decision and go in another direction.

How do you know the next step? You don’t know for sure but it is likely that you will come close to a good answer by seeking information.

Then, take a step by going with the hunch that feels accurate for you.

What is your alternative?

Not moving forward.

Say that you are in a  toxic relationship. You don’t know what to do. What is one thing you could do?

Something simple: look up toxic relationship and see if the definition feels like it applies to you.

Next, pay attention to the way your body feels.

Are you nervous, uncertain, confused, withdrawn, have a sinking feeling?

Pay attention to all these signals.

Then make a next decision.  Even if it is to journal about it–even just one sentence. That is still taking an action because you are committing words to paper.

That one small action will get the wheels turning and you will be able to take additional actions.

You may want to journal more, read more about destructive relationships, or speak to a counselor.

Major actions aren’t  necessary. Small ones work best especially when you are uncertain.

Time & Focus to Make the Decision to Leave

Monday, July 26th, 2010

There are a couple of  reasons people might stay in destructive relationships.

One being time and the other being focus.

You might think you want out but don’t have time to focus on the decision.

When are you going to take the time? It will take a concerted effort to leave and with each day full of routines and challenges that need to be attended to it’s sometimes hard to fully focus on your decision.

Another possible hurdle is if your partner senses you are having serious doubts about continuing and suddenly becomes more in tune with you and the relationship. You might think, how can I possibly leave now? You decide to stay to see if there is hope for the future.  You hope for the opportunity to move toward a working relationship and in some cases  things work out.

Other times the hope dies and you’re back where you were before the new hope cycle emerged. How many more hopeful cycles will you enjoy? How many more down cycles will you endure?

Eventually you may see the hopeful cycles shorter and the down cycles longer. That may be a signal that if you continue to ride this up and down roller coaster your physical mental and emotional well being will be seriously  affected and  in order to create a healthy life for yourself will need to focus on leaving for good.

If you need time in order to focus:

  1. Decide if you’re ready.
  2. Talk your decision over with someone you trust.
  3. Take the time you need to feel confident about your decision.
  4. Seek counseling if it will help you decide what to do.

The time you take is an investment in your future.