Leaving was hard.

I knew it was best that I do it and had thought long and hard about getting out but when it came right down to it, I didn’t know if I could.

I feared living in the world without my husband. I wasn’t even sure it was possible. I’d spent 20 years with him and felt the only stability I had was that which was created from being in my marriage.

How in the world was I going to create a life on my own?

It took nearly half of the 20 years I’d spent with him to find my way out.

I knew I needed to leave. Inside the marriage I believed I was less of a person than my husband was. I was a mother and homemaker for many years and my husband felt I would never be able to hold down full time employment and I was convinced he was right. I tried and failed at a few small home businesses and when I had worked away from home it was either temporary or limited duration employment.  I really didn’t think I had it in me to be a full-time breadwinner.

And then one Saturday morning things changed.

It was a beautiful morning. I had made pancakes and the kids were gathered around the table eating with their Dad. I went into another room to get something and as I walked past my husband he said:

“You’re nothing but a leech and I should have thrown you out a long time ago with nothing but the clothes on your back.”

I stopped in my tracks, turned around, and saw first the looks on my children’s faces and then looked at him. The rest of what he said was a blur as his first sentence captured my full attention.

Those words are engrained in my mind–just a leech–and although in that moment I didn’t realize it–my catalyst for change was born. In that moment I knew and affirmed to myself silently that I was never a leech but a hard worker and had done my best to be a good wife and mother. Never-the-less the words stung.

I made up my mind then and there to build up the scrawny savings account I was forever dipping into. Where before I couldn’t imagine making my own way in the world–I was now motivated to do just that.

I was determined that I would never again hear those words from anyone.

My savings grew to a significant amount and four years later I was finally able to break free.

Catalysts often come as a direct result of painful experiences.

That Saturday morning I got the boost I needed to move forward. I wished on one hand I’d never had the experience but on the other, I’m glad I did. Without it I wouldn’t have been able to develop belief in myself & become the woman I am today.

Catalysts are opportunities presented to us for our growth. We can choose to ignore them or we can accept the challenge presented to us.