Posts Tagged ‘can’t’

If Someone Tells You…

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

No ContactIf someone tells you…

That you can’t you can.

That you won’t; you will if you are determined.

That you’ll fail, you might but you will get back up if you are determined.

If another person tells you…

You are not good enough; you are absolutely better than good enough as long as you believe with every fiber of your being that you are and the more you believe it and tell yourself you are the more you will start to truly believe it.

If another person comes along and tells you…

That you don’t know what you’re doing; it’s a sure sign that they have no idea what they’re doing and are hoping you’ll believe them so they can feel better about themselves.

If someone else tells you to listen to them because they have your best interests at heart pay very close attention to what your gut tells you about this person.

When you pay too much attention to what those outside yourself are telling you about yourself you are not paying enough attention to what is taking place inside of you and what you are telling you. Be kind and gentle when communicating with you and let yourself know each and every day how much you truly love yourself. To do so is a game changer.MomBadge100x100trans

Get Used to Uncomfortable

Saturday, February 14th, 2015

The number one reason I was able to finally leave the destructive relationships I found myself in was that I forced myself to get used to uncomfortable.

The thing that keeps us in what isn’t good for us is that even though we know it’s not good, we’re familiar with it and know how to live in it.

It may not be good but getting up day after day and knowing what to expect even if it’s bad gives us a sense of normalcy that we crave.

One of the first big decisions I made when I left my marriage was to buy a new home.

Walking into the realtor’s office by myself felt very uncomfortable.

I felt like a fish out of water and completely alone.

It seemed so abnormal to make the big decision I was about to make.

I thought–I can’t do this and shouldn’t be here. I need  help!

But there I was and looking around I realized I was the only one there to make the decision and it had to be done;

so I did it.

I felt less uncomfortable as I walked out of that office.

I felt uncomfortable with more decisions I made in the coming weeks months and years but I got used to making decisions and as time went on realized that the only way to get comfortable was to continue to make decisions–small medium and big ones.

The result was that over time the uncomfortableness I’d felt early on became my new comfort zone.

I trusted the decisions I was making.

Other people saw the difference in me–the confidence that came through.

I would not have grown into the person I am today without forcing myself to get uncomfortable.

Next time you think–oh no, I can’t do this or this is way too big a decision for me to make–

think again.

Get used to it.

Accept it.

Own your decisions.

Your time is now.

No Contact

 

Stop Short

Saturday, February 8th, 2014

Have you ever decided to stop short?

Years ago I remember talking with a dear friend who told me about her time in college.

She was a good student and loved her major which was teacher education.

She told me about how she studied hard but in the end decided not to finish her degree.

She was three credit hours shy of finishing and decided not to continue.

She stopped short.

At first when she told me I thought, all that work not to see it through to completion…

She guessed what I was thinking and told me she was okay with the decision as she knew at the time it was the right thing to do and was at peace with it.

We all stop short sometimes.

Like when you’re in a conversation with a friend and planned on saying something, were on the verge of saying it but didn’t.

You think better of it. Decide that either the timing is off or think what you were going to say is better left unsaid.

I’ve done it.

Or when you’re headed out the door to a particular destination and decide not to go.

Done it.

Or when you apply for a job, want the job, need the job, get the job but decide not to take it.

Done it.

Or when you apply to get into a degree program, work like a dog to pull together the application materials, turn it all in and are accepted into the program but then withdraw.

I’ve done that too…

Green light decisions that turn red.

There’s a reason we stop short.

Clarity we either didn’t see in the first place or didn’t acknowledge until after the fact.

Maybe we thought it would be cool to do or have whatever we decided on but don’t think about whether or not we can actually live with taking the action.

Some decisions are huge and effect us the rest of our lives–like marriage.  Couples decide to get married even though they’re either not ready or not at all sure about one another. Only after they’ve walked down the aisle and the excitement has died down do they see the decision was a mistake.

We have to get past yes to see no.

We have to be on the yes side of the decision and try it on for size to fully see if it is the right thing to do. And if it’s not, we’ve got to trust our instincts and put on the brakes and/or pull out.

Sometimes it’s the right thing to do.

No Contact

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If at First You Don’t Succeed

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

If at first you don’t succeed

If at second you don’t succeed

If at third you don’t succeed

If at fourth you don’t succeed

If at fifth you don’t succeed

Reevaluate your strategy

You are likely very close but just missing one or

two key elements that will help you move forward.

At the brink of failure things often turn around

You will never know if you quit.

Quitting puts a period where there might have been an exclamation

point.

Life is full of periods.

We have to fight for our exclamation points.

Don’t give up!

Do it Scared

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

Recently my business coach sent his students this true story. I think it’s message is pretty powerful!

“Do It Scared!”

I once heard a true story of a woman who was trapped in a burning building on the 80th floor. She had an intensive fear of heights and also an intensive fear of closed in spaces so when the fire alarm went off she absolutely refused to follow her colleagues into the stairwell to evacuate to safety.

She could not handle the thought of going down the stairs being able to look down in the middle all the way to the bottom. And the thought of being trapped inside the enclosed stairwell was just too much to endure and so instead she made a conscious choice to hide under her desk and wait to die.

Until some firemen made it up to her floor and were doing a sweep of the building when they found her in time to where they could still get her out. They told her she would have to take the stairs or she would surely burn alive in the flames. And yet she still wanted to choose death over facing her fear!

Finally a fireman grabbed her and picked her up and started dragging her towards the stairs. She wouldn’t stop kicking and screaming “I’m scared! I don’t want to because I’m scared!” And he couldn’t get her to go anywhere until he said these magical words to her “That’s ok, do it scared.

“Do it scared. Do it scared. It’s ok to be scared just do it scared.” He kept saying it into her ear as he rushed her all the way down 80 flights of stairs. “Do it scared. It’s ok to be scared just do it scared.”

Reportedly as the woman and the firefighter finally burst out the bottom doors just seconds before the building became an engulfed inferno she said the bright light of outside was also the exact moment of an epiphany for her life. She could hear the firefighter’s voice in her ear, “Do it scared. Do it scared. No problem, just do it scared.” The phrase saved her life physically but it also transformed her life emotionally. The catch phrase became her life mantra and she went on to live a completely different life after that.

Don’t you have times like that in your life? Where you know what the obvious move to make is but somehow you find this evil force holding you back because of a violently detailed fear? Don’t you sometimes have people trying to drag you down the path that will save your life? Isn’t it sometimes obvious that you have to take the stairs, yet the fear grips you and causes you to choose convenience and safety over life?

Do it scared. It’s fine to be scared – do it scared. It’s fine to be unsure – do it unsure. It’s fine to be uncomfortable – do it uncomfortable. Just do it scared. That is the attitude of the most disciplined and successful people on the planet. They just do it scared, if they have to. But they do it anyways.

Do it scared.

You are going to develop the habit of acting in the face of fear. You are going to create movement and momentum. You are going to get closer to your fear so that you can understand it and overcome it. You will act and you will have life!

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=Lo4oM&m=43v0ajVVq8ZQjMM&b=yt6MsT6ae7isnCBpOCZ.fA

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Way Late In Life

Wednesday, September 18th, 2013

The best thing about finding your way late in life is that you stayed the course and did find your way.

You didn’t quit–though there were times you thought about it.

You grew into the great person you are.

If you’re thinking it was luck–you’re not giving yourself the acknowledgement you deserve.

The only luck we get is that which we create.

It was no accident that you succeeded.

No Contact

 

 

 

 

A Leader? Who, Me?

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

Do you think of a leader as someone other than you? Some of us get into relationships with difficult individuals because we are looking for someone who we think has something we are missing or appears to be someone we are not. We gravitate toward these people and in the process shove ourselves out of our own lives.

Why do we do this? Because it is easier than stepping up to the plate and putting ourselves into the forefront of our own lives. We have the ability and we have the intelligence but what we often choose to believe is that we can’t do it and need someone else to hold us up. We might also believe that only the very charismatic are meant to be strong leaders. And that only the outspoken know what is best. Why do they know what is best? Probably because they have absolutely no problem telling us how much they know and why we should listen to and pay attention to them!

We don’t have to talk our way into leadership. Please follow this link re: The Hobbit:    http://onforb.es/12JOdr2