Posts Tagged ‘brain’

Stress On the Brain

Saturday, September 21st, 2013

In the past I’ve written about relationship stress on the brain. Ongoing stress from any source causes overload on the brain. This link takes you to an article that focuses on brain stress topics:

How Your Brain Responds to Stress

Stress and Noise

Stress and Memory

Gender Responses to Stress

Impact of Stress Studies

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Great Ideas

Monday, September 16th, 2013

Great ideas will come to you–write them down immediately.

Sometimes one great idea hits you like a lightening bolt–you can’t ignore it.

Other times  you get a surge of ideas in rapid fire succession.

Write these down because it’s a guarantee they’ll disappear if you don’t keep tabs on them.

The brain moves freely when you are alert and relaxed quickly moving from one great idea to the next.

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The Effort Comes With Positive Thinking & Possibilities

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

Making the effort and thinking about the possibilities is more challenging than being fatalistic and accepting the status quo.

Accepting the existing state takes far less effort because we don’t have to do anything. It’s more comfortable and allows the brain to relax. It’s as if we’re telling the brain–that’s okay, it was just a thought, now go back to sleep.

The real effort comes with positive thinking and new possibilities. Thinking about change allows the brain to play.We get to think about the when, where, why, how. We think about the what if… Instead of immediately nixing a new idea there’s a pause and then–why not???

Unfortunately the why not is often the stopping point because that’s when the brain tricks us into thinking backward with the fatal it’s too…it’s too expensive, crazy, risky, hard.

Granted, there are times when it’s too does give us a reality check but how often does it just give us an excuse for staying in a situation that makes us miserable.

Just for today force yourself to silence the it’s too...

Today jump from why not to here’s one way I could do it or here are two ways.

Allow yourself to get excited. Explore, plan, investigate. Seek solutions rather than fuel problems. Change it will never work to THIS IS POSSIBLE!






Leaving Love Behind

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

Some love is better left behind.

We don’t have to like it but we have to push ourselves out of a relationship if love has us in a holding pattern.

Not all relationships are meant for the long haul and the sooner we figure out if the one we’re in is one we should leave behind the sooner we’ll be able to move forward.

I was in a relationship where there was an underlying theme forever lurking underneath the surface. Sometimes I would pretend this theme wasn’t there–didn’t really exist–wasn’t as bad as I thought. I told myself the relationship was great except for this one thing and I knew if I could make this one thing go away the relationship would work.

My thinking was murky; my judgement cloudy. I kept filling my brain with reasons why I should stay when I heard that tiny voice deep within forever nudging me to go.

I didn’t want to listen and spent a good portion of three years trying to silence that voice by pointing out times when things were relatively free of drama.

Yet the drama always came back around–large doses of it followed by what I considered to be better more normal times.

It took a very long time for me to see that I was riding a roller-coaster.

I kept getting back on ready for the next go around hoping that somehow things would be different this time.

But things were not different. Sure, there may have been longer stretches of somewhat normal life but the down cycle would always pop up again ready to provide me with a jolt of reality.

Finally I woke up to the realization that this would continue to be my life as long as I stayed in the relationship. I finally understood that no one and nothing was going to change my partner who was an alcoholic. He would have to make that decision.

I also realized that no one but me was going to get me out of the situation I was in.

So I made the decision to get off the roller-coaster and leave love behind.

It was definitely not easy but it was life changing for the better.

When a relationship doesn’t work we want to fix it. We want to figure out how we can have a healthy relationship with this person who we love. The problem is WE can’t do this by ourselves.

Some relationships aren’t healthy for us for many different reasons. There may be violence, addictions, emotional detachment, unavailability, cultural differences, and more…

We need to get out of the holding pattern we’re in and move forward toward a better life.



Monday, November 29th, 2010

Being tired from lack of sleep makes for a brain that is numb and eyes too tired to see. It would be very unfortunate if something wonderful happens on a too tired day as you would not be able to appreciate the true beauty of the experience.

More than a Haircut…

Sunday, June 20th, 2010

After work this past Friday I just knew I wouldn’t be going home until I got a haircut. I couldn’t stand it any more!! I was way past overdue and didn’t want to go home without one. Determined,¬† I set out to complete this task. I thought that perhaps Friday after 5 might not be the best time but figured it most likely wasn’t the worst either so stopped in at a local cut and go salon.

I walked in, put my name on the list, and was told my wait would be about 10 minutes. As I scanned the salon, there appeared to be three stylists working with other customers so I thanked her, sat down, relaxed, and opened a National Enquirer which I figured would be fun to read while I waited…

I don’t know if it was because I was so thoroughly engrossed in my reading or just brain dead after a long week but by the time I looked up at the clock it was pretty surprising to see that my 10 minute wait had turned into 30. I looked around and could see that the three stylists were still with the same customers–a couple of them sitting down right along with them chatting away!

I suddenly felt a wave of invisibility come over me. Did I exist? Was I really there waiting for a haircut? What the heck is going on? I thought–how much effort would it take for one of those stylists to come over or even look my way to let me know they hadn’t forgotten me and that someone would be with me shortly…

But that didn’t happen–even after steadily looking their way hoping for some eye contact. A few more minutes ticked by. I decided I was going to make my move: I was either going to stand up and ask how much longer or was going to walk out. I concluded that given the current situation, I was past the point of feeling this would be a satisfactory haircut experience. Even if they came up to me in the next 5 seconds I would most likely not be a happy customer because I felt ignored. So I got up, crossed my name off the list, and left. (more…)