Posts Tagged ‘being’

Whisperer

Saturday, May 26th, 2018

No ContactDo you know a whisperer? I had a conversation not too long ago with a friend who told me she doesn’t like to go into her dentist office even though she thinks the dentist is great because the receptionist staff whispers in the receptionist area.

I shrugged and said they probably need to keep quiet because of patient confidentiality.

She said no, she didn’t think that was it and said she’s observed that after a patient comes into the office to check in and then sits down in the waiting area the reception staff whispers among themselves about the patient.

I got to thinking about this and said you know maybe you should say something to the staff. And she said– she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

So here’s the thing:

Call it what you will but there are people who like to talk about other people period. There are some people who are not so subtle about it and do it no matter whether the person is with in earshot or not. They like it and they do it and that’s just the way it is. You can like it or not like it and it really doesn’t make any difference because they don’t care.

But here is the absolutely beautiful thing about gossip because when it comes right down to it when a person whispers–it is often gossip.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or doesn’t say.

It doesn’t matter who someone else is or isn’t being.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do.

The only thing that you or I or anyone else has any control over is ourselves. We have the amazing opportunity to take care of ourselves and what others do or say or who they are or aren’t has absolutely no bearing on us.

The worry about others is a wasted worry. Staying up at night or waking up at night worrying about what you think someone else is doing or saying or being is not in any way shape or form a matter that should hold you captive.

Others can whisper, shout, or scream and it has nothing to do with us.

Take charge, go out there and be you. You are the only person who can and it is your responsibility to do that. Others will either like it or they won’t and be glad that we all have the freedom to make that choice.

With the Intention of Being Real

Monday, January 15th, 2018

Being real.

Seems easy enough and I think we believe we actually are being real most of the time.

Yet when it comes right down to it and you have the opportunity to say what you really mean when it goes completely against what someone else believes will you play it nice and go along with what they say?

OR

Will you tell them what you really think?

When you sincerely agree, you agree and it is absolutely and positively no problem but when you don’t yet you say that you do

you are not being real.

Going against yourself hurts no one but you and the more you do it the more you will continue to do it.

It is far more honest and in honor of yourself to go into conversation with the intention of being real.

Being real doesn’t mean being mean hurtful or acting rude or uncaring.

Being real simply means that you let other people know what you think and who you are.

They may disagree with you.

Them may be critical of you.

They may choose to walk away from you

However, you live from the inside out.

Not the other way around.

Who you are, what you stand for, what you say, and what you think are part of you.

You misrepresent yourself if you don’t stand up for all that you believe.

If you fear telling another what you think, who you are, what you believe, you must face the fact that you have this fear and act accordingly which may mean disengaging with this other person altogether.

If you fear telling another person what you think, who you are, and what you believe because you fear for your life you must act accordingly and do what is necessary to keep yourself safe.

If you are not safe please call:

1-800-799-7233

TTY 1-800-787-3224

No Contact

Rolling Around With Bad People

Sunday, September 3rd, 2017

No ContactWhen you choose to become involved with any new person it’s always your decision to do so.

When you roll around with a person who at first presented as a good person then you discover is really a bad person and yet you continue to stay with this person in hopes they will get better, be nicer, and not hurt you, it is always your decision to do so.

And after you’ve had enough go arounds with this person which could be months years or decades and you decide to leave this person it is again your decision to do so.

Then When this person comes to you begging for forgiveness promising they will change their ways and behave better, be kinder, straighten up their act, stop lying, cheating, and doing other bad things it is your decision to start rolling around with them again or stay away from them for good.

It is not about them.

It is not about anything that they do, say, act upon, manipulate, cause harm to, or destroy.

It is only ever about you and at the beginning, the very beginning, listening to what they say about who they are because they will tell you exactly who they are if you really listen and ask the hard questions.

It is about you listening to your inner voice, the one deep inside you telling you in the very beginning that something is off.

It is about you not second guessing your inner being who knows and loves you and wants only the very best for you. When you second guess you it’s because you let your ego take over and the ego is not the part of you that has the deep sense of who you are.

It must become automatic to listen to your inner being and follow it,learn from it, love it, believe in it and more than anything…trust it because it is on your side. Any new person you meet doesn’t know you and has no history with you. The only way you will get to know any new person is to spend time with them, engage in conversation with them, and ask them the hard questions. You will learn by getting to know them what those hard questions are.

Be kind to you and others will start showing up in your life who will do the same.

Look Within First

Friday, August 11th, 2017

No ContactWe get into destructive relationships with other people places things

because we are looking for something outside ourselves that will make

us feel better about who we are. The construction of our being turns destructive.

We’ll feel better about who we are when we find what we need from within.

As we erect our solid foundation we are better equipped to contribute

to meaningful and rewarding relationships.

Other people add variety fun and emotional fulfillment.

They add spice and flavor.

You don’t need  people places and things who destroy what you’ve  constructed.

If you think you need what someone else has look deeper.

You have all you need.

We’re always going to be a work in progress.

We add onto take away from and fine tune our  state of being on a daily basis.

Keep the basic blueprint; it’s got you this far and won’t fail you.

No Contact

 

 

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

What a lovely surprise to discover how unlonely being alone can be.

Ellen Burstyn

Being Human

Saturday, December 11th, 2010

Mistakes are part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which at least others can learn from.  Al Franken