Posts Tagged ‘balance’

Giving Enough but Not Too Much

Saturday, September 22nd, 2018

No ContactThere is this delicate balance that is for us empaths, the ultimate quest in life–giving enough but not too much.

How do we do this? On the one hand we want to be caring supportive and available to our loved ones. On the other hand there is a real danger to ourselves when we go over the top.

This was delicately pointed out to me by a dear friend and her words were simple but the effect has stuck with me.

The issue is that my brother is not well and has had a lifelong battle with mental illness. The medications that it takes to control his illness have taken a toll on him. Small tremors in his hands were noticeable around six to eight years ago. Now the small tremors have erupted to the point where he walks with effort strains to speak and often needs to be fed by another person rather than feed himself.

It is gut wrenching to watch and frustrating to know that medications he has taken to alleviate the symptoms of schizophrenia have left the rest of his body weakened and unable to function in the way he would function if he didn’t need to take them.

There are things that can be done to cut back the symptoms he’s having–diet exercise rest etc. But the thing that would help him the most would be to cut back on the psychotropic medication he is taking. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to do that and there lies the problem. I completely understand why he doesn’t want to–doesn’t sleep as well without the med–but there is very likely another medication he could take to help him sleep better and still cut back on the med that is causing the shaking.

I have been giving of my time and supporting him as much as I can but in some ways doing more than I should simply because I’m trying to save him.

And the truth is…I can’t save him.

So my friend said to me–you need to let go a bit. You can’t make him take his meds the way he needs to or control his illness. All we can do is know that we tried our best and the rest is not up to us.

And the hard pill to swallow is that the rest is not up to us.

The rest is not up to us.

Giving enough but not too much.

Letting go and letting life be as it is.

Knowing that we don’t know what is best for anyone but us and focusing on US.

Where do you know that you could let go and that you should let go?

Who do you have in your life who doesn’t have the same goal for themselves that you have for them?

Do you believe that your way is the best way and that you can strategically save another person?

This is not about beating us up–it’s about us living life; appreciating the others in life and gracefully living onward.

Giving enough but not too much allows others the dignity of living life on their terms.

Walking a Tightrope

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

The relationships we have in our workplace are part of the employment package and relating to our employer and co-workers can be a lot like walking a tightrope. These are relationships we most likely wouldn’t likely have if it weren’t for our job.

Our co-workers may be good at what they do and we may respect that about them but they may also be annoying or manipulative, underhanded, schemers or in some other way nearly impossible to relate to in a normal way.

If we’re too nice we get squashed. If we don’t recognize their achievements we get the cold shoulder. If we don’t go along with their humor we’re made to feel as if we have no sense of humor.

We’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t.

At 3am you don’t want to be restless and wide awake because you are thinking about who is going to say what to you or what you’re going to have to put up with once you walk through that door…

So what do you do to continue working  and still meet your own needs? The best course of action might be to envision yourself walking your own personal tightrope.

Imagine your on that tightrope.

Watch your balance once you first walk through the door. Stay steady until you take that last step out the door at the end of the day.

Each day you get on the tightrope be gentle with your take off and with your last step onto the safety pad once you’re out the door. Be deliberate with the steps you take in between. The last thing you want to do is fall off the rope during the course of the day as falling off is a pain since you’ve got to work your way back up  the rope. Enough falls and you could very well be out of a job

If you’ve maintained your balance you can take a Deep Sigh of Relief.

Do your best to go about your business and show your employer and co-workers the same respect you want them to show you. Maintain a sense of calm so you can sleep at night as your sleep is the best you can give yourself when it comes to dealing with a difficult workplace environment.

Know that you’re not the only one walking the tightrope. Millions do it every day.

Good balance be with you.

Note: Be aware that there is a difference between difficult co-workers and outright abuse. Nip an abusive situation in the bud.

No Contact

Balance

Monday, March 14th, 2011

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.   Barbara De Angelis

Arrogance and Rudeness

Friday, June 25th, 2010

Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life — for weak people who cannot keep their balance without them.     — Laura Teresa Marquez

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.  Unknown

Progress Involves Risk

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

Progress always involves risks. you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.     Frederick Wilcox