Posts Tagged ‘attention’

If Someone Tells You…

Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

No ContactIf someone tells you…

That you can’t you can.

That you won’t; you will if you are determined.

That you’ll fail, you might but you will get back up if you are determined.

If another person tells you…

You are not good enough; you are absolutely better than good enough as long as you believe with every fiber of your being that you are and the more you believe it and tell yourself you are the more you will start to truly believe it.

If another person comes along and tells you…

That you don’t know what you’re doing; it’s a sure sign that they have no idea what they’re doing and are hoping you’ll believe them so they can feel better about themselves.

If someone else tells you to listen to them because they have your best interests at heart pay very close attention to what your gut tells you about this person.

When you pay too much attention to what those outside yourself are telling you about yourself you are not paying enough attention to what is taking place inside of you and what you are telling you. Be kind and gentle when communicating with you and let yourself know each and every day how much you truly love yourself. To do so is a game changer.MomBadge100x100trans

An Arrow in Your Heart

Saturday, May 27th, 2017

No ContactIf someone comes along and shoots an arrow in your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart. Pema Chodron

The attention we need lies within ourselves. The attention we often give is to those others and situations outside ourselves.

We can never ever do anything to heal another person–that’s their job as it should be. We can only heal what is inside us, that’s our job and our right.

Bait & Switch

Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

Narcissists are masters at the bait and switch.

They will con you into thinking and believing anything they believe you want them to be and then once you’re hooked they switch.

You will never every get them back to form they presented themselves to be in the beginning.

They can also be enemies from hell.

You don’t need to react to what they do.

You do need to take care of yourself and have strong boundaries.

If you don’t react they get no narcissistic supply which is…your time, your attention, your reaction.

No Contact

The Narsissistic Charmer

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

Have you ever been involved with a narcissistic charmer? If you have you most likely felt (at least in the beginning) like you got swept off your feet. Right?

Charmers definitely make us feel like we’ve been swept away and afterward they may already be on to the next person. Once the charmer believes he/she has won us over they get restless. Tell tale signs are them becoming distant or acting as if they’re bored to tears in our presence. We go from hero to zero at warp speed.

So if your scratching your head and wondering what you did wrong chances are you didn’t do a thing.

It’s them–the heartbreaking charmers.

These charming types are easy to fall for and hard to get over. We love the attention we receive from them because initially they pursue us with a vengeance. Once they’ve got us they’re either already on to the next new interest and preparing us for the letdown or don’t bother to prepare us–they just move on.

How do you protect yourself from the heartbreak of a charmer?

  • Recognize this type in the beginning. They are usually quite friendly and the compliments ooze out of them. You’re taken in because they make you feel so desirable.
  • Be prepared to say “no” more than you say “yes” to this type until you recognize their true intentions. It doesn’t take long as they usually have a short attention span and won’t waste their time and effort if they can’t draw you in quickly.
  • Don’t be a sucker for compliments.
  • Realize that in the beginning they will give you their undivided attention. Once they’ve got you where they want you, you will notice a distinct difference in the level of attention you receive from them.
  • Don’t stop doing what you love doing. Their persistence in encouraging you do something they want you to do when you have made other plans is no accident.
  • Stay focused and look for like minded people when seeking a relationship partner.
  • Steer clear of over the top personality types. They usually appear to be the life of the party and quite gregarious.  But may also appear mysterious as well.
  • Trust your instincts.
  • Love yourself and be confident about who you are as a person. Charmers usually have an uncanny ability to recognize those who  lack confidence or are vulnerable in some other way.
  • If you have questions you want to ask a new relationship partner ask them. People who give vague answers or are irritated by your questions may have something to hide.
  • Stay grounded.

Your ability to recognize red flags will help you avoid people who end up causing you grief you don’t need in your life.

Distribution of Power In Relationships

Tuesday, November 18th, 2014

When you’re in a relationship where the distribution of power is lopsided, the person with little or no power becomes even more powerless by silencing their own voice. You don’t intentionally stop talking. There is a freeze that happens. You have trouble gathering your thoughts and speaking up when in communication with the person you see as having more power than you. Remember–they have more power only because you have turned your power over to them. When trying to communicate  with a person you have given your power to: take a breath and gather your thoughts; make eye contact; say what you need to say; keep it brief. The more you speak up; the more confident you will be. People who are power mongers are not typically good listeners. They’ll look down, walk away, do something else, but not usually interested in listening to anyone other than themselves. Don’t chase after them to have a conversation. Chasing is like begging–begging for time and attention. As you speak up and reclaim your power you will decide if it is worth your time to communicate with this person. You are responsible for your life and the direction it will take. If you are not safe to have a conversation with the other person and reclaim your power please seek help. http://www.thehotline.org/

No Contact

When You Don’t Have Power

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

When you’re in a relationship where the distribution of power is lopsided, the person with little or no power becomes even more powerless by silencing their own voice.

You don’t intentionally stop talking. There is a freeze that happens. This freeze causes you to have great difficulty gathering your thoughts and speaking when in communication with a person whom you see as having more power than you. Remember–they have more power because you have turned your power over to them.

When trying to communicate  with a person who you have given your power to:

Take a breath and gather your thoughts.

Make eye contact.

Say what you need to say; keep it brief.

The more you speak up; the more confident you will become.

People who have the power are not typically good listeners. They will look down, walk away, do something else, but not usually interested in listening to anyone other than themselves.

Don’t chase after them to talk to them. Chasing is like begging–begging for time and attention.

As you speak up and reclaim your power you will decide if it is worth your time to communicate with this person.

You are responsible for your life and the direction it will take.

If you are not safe to have a conversation with the other person and reclaim your power please seek help.

http://www.thehotline.org/

No Contact

 

 

 

 

 

Begging for Attention

Monday, August 12th, 2013

http://exm.nr/LBSPEw

No Contact