Posts Tagged ‘appreciating’

Giving Enough but Not Too Much

Saturday, September 22nd, 2018

No ContactThere is this delicate balance that is for us empaths, the ultimate quest in life–giving enough but not too much.

How do we do this? On the one hand we want to be caring supportive and available to our loved ones. On the other hand there is a real danger to ourselves when we go over the top.

This was delicately pointed out to me by a dear friend and her words were simple but the effect has stuck with me.

The issue is that my brother is not well and has had a lifelong battle with mental illness. The medications that it takes to control his illness have taken a toll on him. Small tremors in his hands were noticeable around six to eight years ago. Now the small tremors have erupted to the point where he walks with effort strains to speak and often needs to be fed by another person rather than feed himself.

It is gut wrenching to watch and frustrating to know that medications he has taken to alleviate the symptoms of schizophrenia have left the rest of his body weakened and unable to function in the way he would function if he didn’t need to take them.

There are things that can be done to cut back the symptoms he’s having–diet exercise rest etc. But the thing that would help him the most would be to cut back on the psychotropic medication he is taking. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to do that and there lies the problem. I completely understand why he doesn’t want to–doesn’t sleep as well without the med–but there is very likely another medication he could take to help him sleep better and still cut back on the med that is causing the shaking.

I have been giving of my time and supporting him as much as I can but in some ways doing more than I should simply because I’m trying to save him.

And the truth is…I can’t save him.

So my friend said to me–you need to let go a bit. You can’t make him take his meds the way he needs to or control his illness. All we can do is know that we tried our best and the rest is not up to us.

And the hard pill to swallow is that the rest is not up to us.

The rest is not up to us.

Giving enough but not too much.

Letting go and letting life be as it is.

Knowing that we don’t know what is best for anyone but us and focusing on US.

Where do you know that you could let go and that you should let go?

Who do you have in your life who doesn’t have the same goal for themselves that you have for them?

Do you believe that your way is the best way and that you can strategically save another person?

This is not about beating us up–it’s about us living life; appreciating the others in life and gracefully living onward.

Giving enough but not too much allows others the dignity of living life on their terms.