Posts Tagged ‘anxious’

On Being Your Own Best Friend

Sunday, June 5th, 2016

It is not possible to be your own best friend when old beliefs about yourself–I’m old, too fat, too skinny, unlucky, too weak, cowardly, stupid etc keep entering your mind. These are old ideas you’ve allowed to hang around. The only way to get rid of this stuff is to condition your brain to latch onto the truth about who you really are.

The negative is only there because you don’t fight hard enough to keep it away.

There have been times when in a new situation–like with a group of people at a networking event, where I tell myself all sorts of things–you wore the wrong thing, why did you say that, or why didn’t you say something…I’ve beat myself up to the point where I can’t wait to get out of the place.

There is no place you can be where being your own best friend won’t work in your favor. If you are some place –like a work meeting, employee gathering, networking or some place else where you feel little sense of comfort, be okay with just being in the moment and soaking it all in. There is nothing you have to do as long as you are present. Take it all in, observe, smile and then when it’s over be proud that you kept your poise and made it through!

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The Accommodater

Tuesday, December 8th, 2015

If you’re the accommodater you’re pretty well set on accommodating other people.

When you accommodate you stop being genuine.

If you worry about how another person feels as it relates to every little action you take you create an imbalance of power.

For example, another person may make a comment about what you’re doing or not doing as it relates to them….maybe they want you to stop whatever it is you’re doing and do what they want you to do.

If you are in the middle of an activity you don’t need to make excuses for doing what you’re doing and you don’t need to stop what you’re doing because another person implies that you should.

It is pretty darn liberating to say no.

Yes, is easy. Yes is always easy.

Yes is accommodating, it’s pleasing, it makes everything nice and neat and without conflict.

No is harder, always harder.

No goes against, is different from and is in total conflict with.

When you mean no, say no. If you say yes but you really mean no you’re lying to yourself and the other person.

You’re being genuine when you need to be; you’re honoring your individuality.

Just do it.

You’ll be glad you did.

Note: If you’re in a domestic violence situation please seek help.

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Walking a Tightrope

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

The relationships we have in our workplace are part of the employment package and relating to our employer and co-workers can be a lot like walking a tightrope. These are relationships we most likely wouldn’t likely have if it weren’t for our job.

Our co-workers may be good at what they do and we may respect that about them but they may also be annoying or manipulative, underhanded, schemers or in some other way nearly impossible to relate to in a normal way.

If we’re too nice we get squashed. If we don’t recognize their achievements we get the cold shoulder. If we don’t go along with their humor we’re made to feel as if we have no sense of humor.

We’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t.

At 3am you don’t want to be restless and wide awake because you are thinking about who is going to say what to you or what you’re going to have to put up with once you walk through that door…

So what do you do to continue working  and still meet your own needs? The best course of action might be to envision yourself walking your own personal tightrope.

Imagine your on that tightrope.

Watch your balance once you first walk through the door. Stay steady until you take that last step out the door at the end of the day.

Each day you get on the tightrope be gentle with your take off and with your last step onto the safety pad once you’re out the door. Be deliberate with the steps you take in between. The last thing you want to do is fall off the rope during the course of the day as falling off is a pain since you’ve got to work your way back up  the rope. Enough falls and you could very well be out of a job

If you’ve maintained your balance you can take a Deep Sigh of Relief.

Do your best to go about your business and show your employer and co-workers the same respect you want them to show you. Maintain a sense of calm so you can sleep at night as your sleep is the best you can give yourself when it comes to dealing with a difficult workplace environment.

Know that you’re not the only one walking the tightrope. Millions do it every day.

Good balance be with you.

Note: Be aware that there is a difference between difficult co-workers and outright abuse. Nip an abusive situation in the bud.

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Life Challenges

Saturday, October 24th, 2015

Life challenges often feel heavy and unbearable.

Keep focused on the journey.

To focus on the outcome makes the wait more difficult and can discourage you to

the point where you give up.

There are always new discoveries along the challenge path. These discoveries prepare you for each new step.

Stick with each new discovery one moment at a time.

Your feet may want you to hurry along. Tell them–not so fast. Make your feet wait for your mind to process the learning taking place in the here and now.

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Waiting for Something from Another Person

Monday, September 1st, 2014

The best advice for people who can’t seem to end an unsatisfying relationship might be to stop waiting for something from the other person.

Probably what it is will never come.

Thomas Moore

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New Partner Choices

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

The best choices for partners are people who are most like us. If we don’t have to alter our likes and dislikes to suit the whims of a new partner we are closer to being on the right track than if we alter our natural self to meet the expectations of someone new.


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A Little Not Ready

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

I always did something I was a little not ready to do. I think that’s how you grow.When there’s that moment of  ‘Wow, I’m not really sure I can do this,’ and you push through those moments, that’s when you have a breakthrough.

Marissa Mayer

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Fear After Taking a Leap of Faith…

Monday, July 1st, 2013

No ContactIf you’re considering taking a leap of faith in one area of your life OR if you’ve already done so you may question whether or not you’re just about to screw up your life permanently or already have.

Here’s what I’ve learned after taking a leap nearly a year ago:

Preparation–Prepare as much as you can. Do your homework. In my case I’d spent five years looking at various business opportunities and speaking with what seemed like hundreds of people about their decision to buy this or that business they’d purchased. It’s pretty hard to take any leap without preparation. Talking to others, reading, researching, visiting with those who have taken the same/similar leap can help. So can workshops, seminars, training, whatever you can get your hands on.

Acceptance–No matter what leap you’ve taken or are about to take, you will question whether you did the right thing. Take a deep breath and then let it out slowly. When I bought into the business opportunity I’m currently part of there were problems right off the bat. I was not welcomed with open arms by fellow territory owners and in fact was told that I made a huge mistake by purchasing the territory I purchased. To get through the first three months I saw a counselor. In the beginning I felt panicky with a sinking feeling on a fairly regular basis. With the help of the counselor I realized that there is no perfect business and that the learning curve can be huge. With his help I was able to calm down.

The Fear About Money–This one was huge for me. I was convinced that I would go bankrupt within the first six months or end up homeless at the end of the first year. Neither have happened so far…The thing about money is that money is not the problem. Money is just coins and paper–that’s it. We all have fears about our security yet have no idea how resourceful we truly are until we’re faced with losing our financial resources. If you’re prepared you will not have quite so much to fear when it comes to money. If your leap of faith involves finances have enough savings to live on for the first six months. If you don’t have this; wait until you do.

Maintain Focus–There is plenty to distract us when we’re maneuvering through any transition. Taking a leap of faith requires focus. If you’re not focused the first strong wind will knock you right off your feet. Stay steady, restate your goal, post your goal. Avoid thinking about what others are doing and how you compare to them. Chances are they aren’t and maybe never have experienced what you’re experiencing.

Be Proud of Taking Your Leap–When I look at where I am now and how long I waited to actually jump in with both feet I sometimes can’t believe I actually did it! No matter what happens I’m very proud of myself for having had the courage to get out of my comfort space and take the leap I took. The realization that I’ve made it this far keeps me going and motivates me to want to keep moving forward.


Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, should have.   Unknown



Overcoming Depression

Sunday, February 10th, 2013

Please click on link below:


Don’t Let Low Moods Take Over

Friday, April 27th, 2012

It’s imperative to avoid getting caught up in your thinking particularly if you want to experience your low moods gracefully without spiraling even lower.