Archive for the ‘Workplace Relationships’ Category

Whisperer

Saturday, May 26th, 2018

No ContactDo you know a whisperer? I had a conversation not too long ago with a friend who told me she doesn’t like to go into her dentist office even though she thinks the dentist is great because the receptionist staff whispers in the receptionist area.

I shrugged and said they probably need to keep quiet because of patient confidentiality.

She said no, she didn’t think that was it and said she’s observed that after a patient comes into the office to check in and then sits down in the waiting area the reception staff whispers among themselves about the patient.

I got to thinking about this and said you know maybe you should say something to the staff. And she said– she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

So here’s the thing:

Call it what you will but there are people who like to talk about other people period. There are some people who are not so subtle about it and do it no matter whether the person is with in earshot or not. They like it and they do it and that’s just the way it is. You can like it or not like it and it really doesn’t make any difference because they don’t care.

But here is the absolutely beautiful thing about gossip because when it comes right down to it when a person whispers–it is often gossip.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or doesn’t say.

It doesn’t matter who someone else is or isn’t being.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do.

The only thing that you or I or anyone else has any control over is ourselves. We have the amazing opportunity to take care of ourselves and what others do or say or who they are or aren’t has absolutely no bearing on us.

The worry about others is a wasted worry. Staying up at night or waking up at night worrying about what you think someone else is doing or saying or being is not in any way shape or form a matter that should hold you captive.

Others can whisper, shout, or scream and it has nothing to do with us.

Take charge, go out there and be you. You are the only person who can and it is your responsibility to do that. Others will either like it or they won’t and be glad that we all have the freedom to make that choice.

Overly Grateful

Sunday, October 15th, 2017

Being grateful and appreciative toward others is in general a good way to be. Being overly grateful and communicating just how grateful you truly are is something else and can set you up for abuse.

We hear a lot about gratitude and even journaling about the people and things in life that we feel so grateful to have. Being grateful is something to strive for especially in a society where a strong sense of entitlement is actually becoming more and more common.

The thing is you need to watch just how much gratitude you put out there.

If someone does something special for you and your reaction to this is something like–no one has ever done this for me before or I am so grateful to you for going out of your way to do this for me or you shouldn’t have done this or thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for this kind gesture etc.

Own your gratitude and do show your appreciation but be No Contactmindful of the attention you receive from others. The consideration you give to yourself is as important if not more so than what you receive from another person.

Toxic People

Saturday, March 11th, 2017

There are toxic people out there who have an aim which is to bother as many others as they can.

If they single you out it is because they see a vulnerability that they feel they can capitalize on.

If you can go above this toxicity and come out stronger because of it you will have done the most you can to maintain your balance and take care of you. You don’t need to tolerate their toxic ways but you do need to stand firm with your boundaries. Toxic people are cunning manipulators and if you can recognize them for who they are without stooping to their level you will be miles ahead.

Some signs of a toxic person:

They’re not nice.

They lie.

They’re surrounded by drama.

They don’t say nice things about other people.

They are evasive.

They’re selfish.

They always need to be right.

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Locked Up or Locked Out?

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

No Contact Warning, if you are offended by talk of breastfeeding you may want to move past the first few paragraphs.

Have you ever been locked up or locked out?

The other day I had a window treatment consultation with a customer who is a lactation consultant and it got it me to thinking of the experience I’d had with my last son who nursed for an extended period of time.
For the most part it was a great breastfeeding experience but there was a point when I got a breast infection which was a truly painful experience.

There was not much I could do to relieve the pain–my son’s nursing provided some relief but it wasn’t enough and I was miserable. I felt locked up. I didn’t have the right key to break the stronghold the infection had on me and the only way to get long lasting relief was to take an antibiotic. Once I got on the medication I found relief and ceased the locked up feeling I’d had.

Being locked up in the case of a breast infection is painful but there are other ways we get locked up or locked out, for instance:

Have you ever had a case of the nerves to the point where your words are locked up? I mean you may get some croaking verbalization to come out but it is truly difficult and silence is a better alternative. I had this happen once in an interview situation and no amount of water or deep breathing brought relief. I somehow croaked my way through but it was rough….

Have you ever been locked out of your car house or apartment? Locked out of your place of business or unable to open a combination lock?

Last week I couldn’t get my garage door to open. I entered the code, no luck, nothing. The back gate lock wouldn’t budge due to very cold conditions and swelling of the wood. I couldn’t get the front door to open because the deadbolt has a mind of it’s own and at that particular time no amount of leaning in or pulling out to get it to open would work.

Then out of the blue, the garage door opened on it’s own–must have been a radio frequency issue–but I was finally able to get inside.

Being closed out is tough and when it happens it affects us mightily. We can be locked out of jobs, promotions, all sorts of opportunities because there is something we need and don’t have or some intangible that we are missing. In the case of an entry to a house, vehicle, gate, etc we can get the right key or code and then relief is ours.

In the case of a job, promotion, or desired opportunity, being locked out could last awhile.

If it’s possible to get what we need like a license, certification, award, etc. we know what we need to do.

But it may be that this one thing we need to unlock our locked out conditions may not come to us.

Alexander Graham Bell said it best:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”

Feeling locked up whether it be breastfeeding, your words, incarceration, or another way, relief comes through a process–whatever that may be…

If you are locked out, move forward, find a way to appreciate the door standing in front of you that is open.

Overlooked and Undervalued

Sunday, June 12th, 2016

Have there been times in your life when you’ve felt overlooked and undervalued?

Have you stood by and watched flashier more outspoken types get kudos early on? Have heart and don’t let this throw you off track. Flashier types may initially be recognized for their efforts however the attention they initially receive often falls by the wayside when they tend not to deliver as promised.

Charm flash and the ability to talk a good talk will only go so far. There are qualities which although not dazzling at onset pay dividends over time.

Determination, doggedness, consistency, hard work, and sincerity are valued.

There are those who don’t initially seem talented, though they are and don’t readily toot their own horn because they are absorbing, studying, and figuring out what needs to be done. Quieter more focused workers do have what it takes though it takes them time to gain confidence and a certain level of comfort with their skills.

If you are determined, dedicated, patient and willing to give your all you have what it takes to get where you want to go.

Stop looking over your shoulder at the flash in the pan. Maintain your focus and on the tasks at hand. Don’t be afraid to assert yourself so that you can be recognized when it counts. If you pay too much attention to the accomplishments and recognition of others it takes you away from what’s happening with you.

You will need to develop a certain level of comfort with asserting your views and opinions. Be brave.

Be respectful to those you’d rather not speak to. This is not being fake it is being courageous and no one can honestly overlook a brave respectful and courageous person.

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When You Feel You’ve been Wronged

Tuesday, April 5th, 2016

There are people who seek to do whatever it takes to reach their life goals even when doing so includes stepping on other people and squashing them into the ground. If you happen to have been caught in the chaos resulting from being associated with one of these individuals you may wholeheartedly feel that you’ve been wronged.

Unfortunately those who attempt to step on others will likely keep doing this because they are programmed to do so and usually bully, are manipulative, and above everything else, get away with what they do.

If you feel you’ve been wronged you may have thoughts of dishing out to them what you feel they’ve dished out to you.

You may feel you’re a victim and have an overwhelming amount of pent up frustration.

I know, I’ve been there.

Not too long ago I had deep frustration toward a fellow business associate who I felt had done some underhanded things in order to increase their business. There were times when I felt sick to my stomach and nearly paralyzed about the situation.

At times I cried inconsolably and was on the verge of making myself absolutely miserable.

It didn’t take long to realize I was gaining nothing except more frustration and frustration builds on more frustration until something big happens like a traffic accident, an illness, yelling at someone else just because they are available to yell at. Overeating over-drinking and oversleeping are other possibilities.

I thought about giving up my business and walking away.

I was obsessing about the situation on a pretty regular basis.

I knew I had to get a grip on myself so began by taking a good hard look at what I needed to do and stopped concentrating on what I had absolutely no control over.

First thing was to focus on doing a better job on what I did have control of by making decisions that helped me grow my business.

Also made a point of affirming on a daily basis that I could positively make my life and business better regardless of anything or anyone else.

I read more and concentrated on the things I had to concentrate on to be a better business owner.

I knew that above everything else I could choose to let my frustration and resentment continue to eat me alive or just let it go and overall I feel that I have.

Of course everyone’s situation is different and there are times when actions need to be taken and if you’re in this type of situation you’ll either know it or it will become increasingly clear over time.

But even if you do have to take action you can still refuse to be consumed by the situation. In the long run you’ll feel & live better despite the wrong that has been done and most likely learn a heck of a lot about yourself in the process.

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Everything Hinges on Attitude!

Saturday, April 4th, 2015

Just when I was feeling a little down about my less than stellar productivity in my recent sales I got a boost with this great article about attitude!

http://linkd.in/WDEqgX

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Change & Struggle

Friday, April 3rd, 2015

Change does not roll on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.

And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless

your back is bent.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Following My Dream Part Two

Tuesday, November 19th, 2013

Note: Today is the second of a three part post written by Shannon, a life long friend of mine. Her story is one I thought you would want to read about and be inspired by.

We all have dreams and want to follow those dreams wherever they take us but making changes in our lives can be tough especially when getting through daily life can often be a big challenge. I asked Shannon to share her story  so in this three part blog post Shannon talks about her dream and how she went about achieving it.

Following My Dream Part Two

By Shannon H.

When God Closes the Door He Opens a Window

Although I loved my job I could feel that something was changing and not for the better. I felt as though I was being eased out but did not know why.  I started to work harder and harder but the feeling did not ease. Finally after a year of this I was told during my job review that I was not professional enough and that she (my boss) felt I did not really want to be there. This–after starting several new projects, joining a committee and completing a long-term project. What???? After 12 years all of a sudden I was not professional enough? My boss was unable to cite anything that I had done that was unprofessional. It was just a feeling she said she had. I know now that there was office politics involved. I was devastated. It was the worst summer of my life as I tried everything I could think of to hang on to this job that I had loved but knew in my heart I needed to develop a plan “B”. One day during this time I was coming out of a bookstore when a book caught my eye. It was on the miracles of middle age and was on sale for only $3.00. I knew it was a sign and I grabbed it and read it in one night. It spoke to me in a big way. While reading it I remembered that it was possible to get certified to teach English overseas and that there was a program in my hometown.  Wow there was an idea; I could get paid to live overseas.

 

The next day I went to the language school and enrolled in the TEFL program they had. I arranged to divide the courses in to three terms allowing me to attend in the mornings before work. I would have my certificate in 8 months and would then quit my job. I didn’t tell anyone about my plan as I was still trying to hang on to my job. However it was not to be. Half way into the language program I tried to request medical leave due to stress from the past few months. I had the accumulated time to do it but was let go immediately and told not to come back into the office.

 

I was devastated but one of my favorite sayings has always been when God closes the door he opens a window. And I truly believe that! I still felt crushed but continued forward and received my certificate for teaching English. The school directly hired me as they also had an English Language Institute. By this point I felt that I had been pushed into a river and had the choice of trying to swim against the current or go with the flow no matter how scared I was. And believe me, I was scared!  But God had made sure that the only direction I could go was forward by ending my job.

 

I continued to swim with the flow even when immersed in self-doubt. This was a total change of profession for me. What would I do with my house? Where would I get a job having no experience? I knew that the job for me at the institute was only another steppingstone. It did not give me enough teaching hours or pay.

Next Post:  How I Ended Up Living in Saudi Arabia

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Another Avenue of Opportunity

Monday, October 21st, 2013

There are opportunities. This is another avenue for consideration:

http://bit.ly/16k15c6

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