Archive for the ‘Individuals with Disabilities’ Category

Giving Enough but Not Too Much

Saturday, September 22nd, 2018

No ContactThere is this delicate balance that is for us empaths, the ultimate quest in life–giving enough but not too much.

How do we do this? On the one hand we want to be caring supportive and available to our loved ones. On the other hand there is a real danger to ourselves when we go over the top.

This was delicately pointed out to me by a dear friend and her words were simple but the effect has stuck with me.

The issue is that my brother is not well and has had a lifelong battle with mental illness. The medications that it takes to control his illness have taken a toll on him. Small tremors in his hands were noticeable around six to eight years ago. Now the small tremors have erupted to the point where he walks with effort strains to speak and often needs to be fed by another person rather than feed himself.

It is gut wrenching to watch and frustrating to know that medications he has taken to alleviate the symptoms of schizophrenia have left the rest of his body weakened and unable to function in the way he would function if he didn’t need to take them.

There are things that can be done to cut back the symptoms he’s having–diet exercise rest etc. But the thing that would help him the most would be to cut back on the psychotropic medication he is taking. Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to do that and there lies the problem. I completely understand why he doesn’t want to–doesn’t sleep as well without the med–but there is very likely another medication he could take to help him sleep better and still cut back on the med that is causing the shaking.

I have been giving of my time and supporting him as much as I can but in some ways doing more than I should simply because I’m trying to save him.

And the truth is…I can’t save him.

So my friend said to me–you need to let go a bit. You can’t make him take his meds the way he needs to or control his illness. All we can do is know that we tried our best and the rest is not up to us.

And the hard pill to swallow is that the rest is not up to us.

The rest is not up to us.

Giving enough but not too much.

Letting go and letting life be as it is.

Knowing that we don’t know what is best for anyone but us and focusing on US.

Where do you know that you could let go and that you should let go?

Who do you have in your life who doesn’t have the same goal for themselves that you have for them?

Do you believe that your way is the best way and that you can strategically save another person?

This is not about beating us up–it’s about us living life; appreciating the others in life and gracefully living onward.

Giving enough but not too much allows others the dignity of living life on their terms.


Sunday, November 20th, 2016

If you fear leaving your house–agoraphobia–you are not alone. It’s okay to be afraid but don’t let that fear win out. Don’t  say, I can’t do it because I’m afraid. Say, I’m afraid but I know it’s not good for me to stay in my house so I’m going to get out. The effort that it takes to leave is worth it. If you are depressed try this–get up, open the front door, and walk outside. Look up at the sky, look down at the ground. Take a breath. Being outside is so helpful when it comes to reframing the way you feel. It is a simple yet very effective way to feel better.

If physical pain or depression prevents you from leaving your home combat it. See your physician, mental health specialist, or another professional you trust. As long as you have the ability or have another person who can help you leave your home you will increase your quality of life by doing so.

No Contact

If You’re Looking for a Gem

Sunday, August 21st, 2016

No ContactIf you’re looking for a gem you’ll need to look below the surface.

They don’t just come right up to you tap on your shoulder and say–

I’m the greatest.

Most are not well polished and will not shout out their accomplishments or boast about how great they are.

Most gems don’t appear to be gems at all. They may in fact appear to be anything but a gem.

They will not invade your space or muscle their way in to a conversation. They are usually most concerned with your comfort and would not do anything to show disrespect toward others.

They may be reserved even somewhat shy but that reserved nature and shyness doesn’t define who they are. You haven’t even scratched the surface.

When you first meet one you may overlook them completely because you are looking beyond and over to get a glimpse at a shiny non gem.

That is such a mistake.

When you bypass a gem you may find something well polished but it is almost guaranteed that what you find is not a gem.

To find a gem you need to get relaxed comfortable and enjoying the moment.

Take a look around and then take another.

Be patient and observe. You may catch a glimpse and if you do congratulations.

Your life will be infinitely better for having met one and blessed if they happen to enter your life.

You Can Do Anything

Tuesday, October 27th, 2015

You can do anything you put your mind to once you decide

what it is you really want to do.

Finding what you really want  is the hard part only because

it seems that the possibilities are endless.

Life is more complicated because our world is more accessible

than it used to be.

We don’t need to settle but because of that we have a hard time

settling down.

If you’re overwhelmed when thinking, you’re thinking too hard.

Back up.

Start with the basics.

Think about your life and where you find pure enjoyment.

When thinking of a career path write down one hundred possibilities then whittle it down to one.

Cross out, erase, pay attention to what you immediately say no to when given two


Create a yes and no pile.

It’s never about what others think is best–ever.

Be realistic but be true to you.

It’s your journey and your life.

No Contact







Friday, June 21st, 2013

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.

W. Clement Stone

No Contact

Off Balance

Monday, June 11th, 2012

This link will take you to an excerpt of the book entitled Off Balance. In this book Olympic Champion Dominique Moceanu discovers a secret sister her parents gave away. This is an excellent excerpt.



Young Teens are Vulnerable to Dating Violence

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

Although this article applies to the Knoxville, TN area dating violence affects the young across the US. Often the biggest hurdle young victims must overcome is denial. Please read the following article:

College Program for Developmentally Disabled

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

I ran across a link to an NPR radio program in which the subject is a two year college degree program for students with developmental disabilities~Venture Program for Unique Learners.

The program is offered at Bellevue Community College in Bellevue, WA.

Here is a link to the brief radio program:

Here is a link to the Venture Program: