Archive for the ‘Fear’ Category

You are the Prize

Saturday, October 27th, 2018

You are the prize.

Think it and feel it. You have such value–know it, believe it, you are it!

You must believe this and live it because in order to share love with another person you must radiate love and give it to yourself unconditionally.

Wendy Griffth wrote the book: You are a Prize to be Won

Whether you are Christian or not this video is well worth viewing.

https://bit.ly/2yAwFo8

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Standing in a Sinkhole

Saturday, September 29th, 2018

No ContactIf you’re standing in a sinkhole sticking around long enough to be fully encapsulated shouldn’t be an option.

When circumstances continue to spiral down you know it.

The only reason for sticking around is feeling that there is hope.

The problem is, do you really want to be hopeful in a sinkhole situation?

Is there pushing, shoving, hitting, biting, tripping, slapping or any other form of physical abuse? Is a relationship partner ignoring disregarding or undermining or doesn’t want to spend time with you? If you feel your circumstances are situational how much time do you think it will take to turn things around?

Be honest with yourself. We usually know deep down when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Are you communicating with your partner letting them know how you feel? Do you feel safe enough to communicate with your partner?

Your first job is to take care of you. Once you crawl out of the sinkhole the pieces your life will begin to fall into place. This can only happen through honest communication with your partner and a willingness by both of you to create change. If that is not possible removing yourself from the relationship is the alternative. You know if communication is unsafe.

To seek help contact the Domestic Abuse National Hotline:

1-800-799-7233

1-800-787-3224 TTY

The National Sexual Assault Hotline

1-800-656-4673

We Are Righter than We Think

Tuesday, August 21st, 2018

We all spend so much time second guessing ourselves even when there is no real good reason to do so. It would be beneficial to us to understand that we are really and truly righter than we think.

We think we don’t know as much as we wish we did but in fact know more than we ever thought we could.

We think other people have things all figured out when they know absolutely no more than we do about the best way to live.

It’s always easier to look at someone else’s experience and instinctively know what they should be doing but when it comes right down to it if we were in their shoes would we really make a better choice?

No we would not because we are not them and have absolutely no idea what it is like to be them!

Life is a series of conversations decisions and actions.

We can have a conversation make a decision and take an action that may prove not to be in our best interests and based on that one decision decide that we are not good at knowing what is best for us.

That logic is unfair to us.

Each decision we make is a step forward in life.

The decision may cause us to go backward but if it does in the long run it will help us move forward because of the knowledge and wisdom we will gain from having relived something a second or third time.

The trick is to be aware of the road we are traveling on.

To be aware that we’ve been down this road before and examine why we find ourselves back there again.

Awareness is powerful. The more aware we are the more likely we will lean toward a different decision than we have made in the past.

If we blindly end up at the same crossroads yet don’t see that we are there we have a much bigger problem.

Awareness is key.

Reflection is paramount but not so much reflection that we decide we can’t trust ourselves to move forward.

Just enough reflection and then onward and forward. If your gut thinks the journey you are about to embark on is ill advised it will let you know. Again–awareness is key.

Zero into your awareness.

You are righter than you think.

You’ve got yourself to where you are right now, don’t underestimate your ability to move yourself in a direction that will serve you.

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Strong Arming & Silencing You

Monday, July 30th, 2018

No ContactIf you are in a relationship with a partner who practices strong arming you are familiar with words that block you from speaking your truth. Having a conversation that confronts or questions is usually met with blocks such as:

We’re not going to talk about this.

OR

I’ve told you I don’t want to talk about this.

OR

Don’t talk to me about this.

OR

If you continue to talk about this or if you don’t stop talking about this–there’s the door.

etc. etc.

You may think you are obligated to keep silent.

You might decide that having your truth heard is not worth the fallout and choose to keep your thoughts to yourself.

However, by silencing your truth you squelch who you are as a human being.

You miss out on being who you are meant to be.

No one has the right to take YOU out of the picture.

No one has the right to tell you what you can and can’t talk about.

No one has the right to tell you that what you have to say means nothing and is better left unsaid.

But every time you allow another person to silence your words you are allowing another person to take away your freedom to be you.

Strong arming is a tactic used by abusers and is used to gain and retain power.

You don’t have to live life being strong armed.

The only person stopping you from breaking the pattern is YOU.

You only have one life. Make it your own.

As always if you are in a situation in which you are not safe seek help.

1-800-799-7233 Domestic Abuse Hotline

Test the Water

Saturday, June 9th, 2018

When we don’t test the water we don’t know where we stand.

I was taught not to disrupt the flow and keep up the status quo.

That was poor advice but it was what I learned to do.

If we don’t test the water we don’t know just how much we can grow.

In all relationships we have a choice.

We can stay with what we know and basically tread water indefinitely.

Or we can present a challenge to self and partner. Raise the bar so to speak.

Ask for what you need and want. You are not asking for too much when you do this.
It is never too much to ask for what you want and to have your needs met–it is a sign of strength.

A true partnership is much stronger than we think. A partnership that goes untested is more fragile than one
that has faced multiple challenges.

A true valued partner provides opportunity for candid and quality conversations. They will tell you what you need
to hear, not what you want to hear. If you never get to the place where the water is tested chances are you will not meet growth
head on. And if you choose not to grow your going in the opposite direction.

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Love & Devotion to Self

Saturday, April 14th, 2018

No ContactDevotion to self is pretty easy when things are going well. Being present with love & devotion to self when stressed is something entirely different.

In my line of work I spend most of my time being out in the customer’s home. For the most part I can tell myself I’m going to have a great day and keep that self talk going. I need to do this because sales is a tough job and can get discouraging because there are multiple challenges and rejection to face on a regular basis. I know that’s part of the job and I accept it.

However

There are times when no amount of self talk is going to save me. When I’m hungry and tired and in a customer’s home with another hour or so to go it can be hard to cope.

But the one thing that drives me nuts is when I can’t find a pen!!

I have lots of pens–but due to the hectic nature of the work, pens disappear. This is a problem when it comes to taking measurements and writing up invoices. A few weeks back I couldn’t find a pen so I ended up borrowing one from the customer wrote out the invoice and finished the consult.

As challenges go not having a pen is not a gigantic one yet it can be unnerving in a sales situation because having a pen is important. In the moment my head scolds me telling me how unprofessional it makes me look not to have a pen. On the other hand I tell myself it makes me look human so I step back, take a deep breath and give myself some grace.

So the point to this is:

I really concentrated on not beating myself up over not having a pen but instead with determination found an old zipper pouch and stashed quite a few pens in it. I also ended up getting a better bag–one with more storage compartments.

When things don’t go exactly like you would like them to but you’ve got your heart into what you do, know that it is enough. In fact, you’re likely doing an amazing job at what you do but fail to see how spectacular you really are.

The goal isn’t to be perfect but to be perfectly fine with yourself.

If we don’t challenge ourselves to love us by taking a stand for who we are and what we do in life–deep down we will know it.

Being devoted to self is the key to living life the way we are meant to live it in all aspects of life. Love who you are always. Think thoughts that allow positive forces to step into your consciousness. Really let the positive thoughts rule in your life. Kick the thoughts that don’t serve you to the curb and keep them there. One method I’ve found that works is picking up an imaginary shovel full of dirt and burying pesky negativity from the past. Once it’s buried it’s gone. If it comes back I get the shovel out again.

The biggest challenge we face is loving ourselves. We don’t have to do life perfectly we just need to live life and love ourselves unconditionally.

Anxiety Works Overtime

Wednesday, March 28th, 2018

Anxiety is never satisfied. In fact there are times when anxiety really outdoes itself and goes beyond the norm.

If it could it would keep us alert 24/7.

It depresses, alerts, foils, manipulates.

It talks us into something one minute and out of it the next.

It is relentless and we wage lifelong battles with it.

No one escapes but we can learn to lessen it.

So what do we do to tame this savage beast? How do we put it in it’s place so we can live life without succumbing to it’s wishes?

It’s so simple yet extremely difficult to calm anxiety down but
we’ve got to control it.

Control the amount of time it takes over in our lives.

We’ve got to tell it to go away, shut the door, slam the lid, seal it up.

Walk away.

We tell it to shut up and mean it!

There is no one else who can.

At 3am enough is enough.

When we obsess, hold onto a thought, keep a conversation going that needed to end 30 minutes ago we’ve allowed anxiety to take over. Next time you’re in that moment

STOP.

Take a deep breath in through the nose and hold for a count of four then release through your mouth. Your body gives you the signal that you’re okay.

BUT don’t take too many deep breaths in a row or you will hyperventilate which will make your anxiety worse.

You might think–deep breathing won’t get me a new job, solve my relationship problems, pay the bills, or get me out of debt and you’re right, it won’t

BUT

Taking a deep breath every now and then gets oxygen to the brain which in turn allows you to think more clearly. It also slows the heart rate down and makes you feel less anxious even if for a moment.

And if you put together enough of these brief moments whose to say that your body and mind won’t be better able to handle some of the major stressors in your life.

Give yourself a break every thirty minutes or so to take a deep breath. You could set an alarm on your phone, find a visual cue like a clock or make a sign that says BREATHE…to help you. Stick that sign where you can see it!

Whatever you use, make it a practice to take big deep breaths regularly throughout your day. It’s one way to take an active measure to keep anxiety at bay.

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Baby Elephant tied to a Peg

Sunday, January 28th, 2018

Have you felt tied to a peg? The link below is worth the read. You will need to copy and paste to view. Have a wonderful Sunday!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXTzc83CPZc”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXTzc83CPZc

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With the Intention of Being Real

Monday, January 15th, 2018

Being real.

Seems easy enough and I think we believe we actually are being real most of the time.

Yet when it comes right down to it and you have the opportunity to say what you really mean when it goes completely against what someone else believes will you play it nice and go along with what they say?

OR

Will you tell them what you really think?

When you sincerely agree, you agree and it is absolutely and positively no problem but when you don’t yet you say that you do

you are not being real.

Going against yourself hurts no one but you and the more you do it the more you will continue to do it.

It is far more honest and in honor of yourself to go into conversation with the intention of being real.

Being real doesn’t mean being mean hurtful or acting rude or uncaring.

Being real simply means that you let other people know what you think and who you are.

They may disagree with you.

Them may be critical of you.

They may choose to walk away from you

However, you live from the inside out.

Not the other way around.

Who you are, what you stand for, what you say, and what you think are part of you.

You misrepresent yourself if you don’t stand up for all that you believe.

If you fear telling another what you think, who you are, what you believe, you must face the fact that you have this fear and act accordingly which may mean disengaging with this other person altogether.

If you fear telling another person what you think, who you are, and what you believe because you fear for your life you must act accordingly and do what is necessary to keep yourself safe.

If you are not safe please call:

1-800-799-7233

TTY 1-800-787-3224

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FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018

No ContactFEAR

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

When we fear something we believe with all our might that our fear is real.

We absolutely and positively believe that our fear is stopping us from doing stupid, ridiculous, and even dangerous things.

And sometimes it is true that we can have fear about things that we are wise to be fearful of but many things we are scared of are not really things we should be afraid of.

So what is it about fear that puts this stranglehold on us?

We fear that something terrible is going to happen to us if we do this one thing.

For me, making customer service calls to my past customers, is something I dread.

I believe that by calling my past customers and asking them how they like the window treatments I sold them that they will call me names, swear at me, or hang up.

I also think that when I ask these same customers if they have received compliments in regards to the window treatments I sold them that they will accuse me of trying to get referrals from them and refuse to give them to me.

And if they did accuse me of trying to get referrals from them the truth is I do want to encourage them to help me speak to other who people I may be able to help because I love what I do and I sincerely believe I can help their friends and family.

And even if my past customers call me names, swear at me or hang up on me, I will survive. None of those things will cause me bodily harm or injure me in any way.

And there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with me calling my past customers, asking them how they are doing, how the window treatments are working, and if they have received compliments.

Yet I believe what I am doing by calling my customers is somehow wrong or bad and I will come up with any excuse to avoid making those calls.

I would go so far as to say that I could see me losing my business just because I am afraid of making those calls.

So I’ve decided that in order to prove to myself that I can get past my blocks and make the dreaded calls to my past customers I am going to aim to make 50 calls by the end of this month. If I make 5 calls a day it is totally doable for me to make 50 calls in 10 days. So I will update you at the end of this month.

What do you fear? What is your block? Is it a real genuine fear or is it False Evidence Appearing Real?