To Force Forgiveness

No ContactOne thing I know for sure is that it is impossible to force another person who has caused me hurt and pain to ask for my forgiveness.

Why would I want to do that anyway?

There would be no point to the forgiveness because it wouldn’t be sincere.

Forgiveness is not always timely and doesn’t happen in a straight line. If it happens at all, it often happens out of the blue when the deed done is something we’ve moved past.

If we try to get another person to see their wrongdoing it is completely counterproductive as we can not make anyone see anything. They must see it for themselves.

We are not here to be judge and jury. We live our lives and own our lives by taking responsibility for the things we do and say to others. As long we live like this we can go to bed at night and sleep soundly.

If you have lived with abuse you know what I’m talking about.

There is no way to force an apology.

You can learn to accept yourself and nurture you in the face of abuse. Not by putting up with the abuse but by standing up to the abuse in the safest way you possibly can.

More to Come…

What Needs Done First?

What needs done first? I asked myself this question at 4:30 this morning–way too early to be thinking about it but apparently my mind didn’t think so.

Eventually I did go back to sleep but not until I figured out why this question was gnawing at me so early in the morning.

There are usually too many things that need to be done on a daily basis and it’s not always easy to figure out what should be done first.

So the question becomes: What needs done first? What has got to be done first thing; right now; yesterday?

Is there one thing that’s eating at you and deep down you know if you just go and get it done you’ll be relieved?

In my case, I knew there were about twenty things but couldn’t put my finger on which one needed to be done first

until I realized that I couldn’t put my finger on it because I kept tripping over it on the floor!

 

It was a pile of stuff–papers. For at least a couple of months it was always there every single day.

And every single day I kept staring at it thinking yep, got to do something about it, but not now.

Later; always later…

So at 4:30 this morning that pile flashed in front of me and lo and behold, I figured out my what’s on first and today I finally took care of it.

It’s gone.

Thankfully.

Now, I can move on to the second, third, fourth and the other things on that list of stuff that ‘s got to be done.

I’m relieved.

So what do you keep tripping over, running into, ignoring, the thing you know you’ve just got to do when you’ve got the time?

What needs done first for you?

No Contact

 

 

 

What Needs Done First?

No ContactWhat needs done first? I asked myself this question at 4:30 this morning–way too early to be thinking about it but apparently my mind didn’t think so.

Eventually I did go back to sleep but not until I figured out why this question was gnawing at me so early in the morning.

There are usually too many things that need to be done on a daily basis and it’s not always easy to figure out what should be done first.

So the question becomes: What needs done first? What has got to be done first thing; right now; yesterday?

Is there one thing that’s eating at you and deep down you know if you just go and get it done you’ll be relieved?

In my case, I knew there were about twenty things but couldn’t put my finger on which one needed to be done first

until I realized that I couldn’t put my finger on it because I kept tripping over it on the floor!

 

It was a pile of stuff–papers. For at least a couple of months it was always there every single day.

And every single day I kept staring at it thinking yep, got to do something about it, but not now.

Later; always later…

So at 4:30 this morning that pile flashed in front of me and lo and behold, I figured out my what’s on first and today I finally took care of it.

It’s gone.

Thankfully.

Now, I can move on to the second, third, fourth and the other things on that list of stuff that ‘s got to be done.

I’m relieved.

So what do you keep tripping over, running into, ignoring, the thing you know you’ve just got to do when you’ve got the time?

What needs done first for you?

No Contact

 

 

 

Broken Hearts

Broken hearts are not easy to mend which is why it is imperative that you take the best care you can of the one you’ve got.

New love interests will come into your life and promise you the sun moon and the stars but if they promise you all of that too soon pay attention to that because it is not a minor detail.

It is easy to make a promise when love is fresh and new…before the dust has settled in. Once it has you may notice backtracking of the sweet words delivered early on. Plug your ears if you have to so you don’t take those words too seriously. Promises made early at the height of passion are likely intended as sweet words only.

Keep your heart strong by encapsulating it with your protection. You are the only one who can truly do this job. Giving sole power to someone else to protect your heart is risky. You can love others and they can love you but you must provide the protection needed for this precious organ.

No Contact

Full Engagement

No ContactFull engagement in your own life is a must.

Your own interests

Your own plans, activities, friends and family.

The best relationship any of us ever has is the one we have with ourselves. If it is when we form a partnership with another person we will add to what we already have rather than take away from what we love in order to accommodate a new partner.

For those of us who are experienced with being in destructive relationships, we tend to let the other person dictate what we do and don’t do, where we go, who we see and don’t see, heck we even let partners decide what we eat!

When it comes right down to it all any of us have is ourselves. Other people will leave us either through divorce, break up, abandonment or death.

You have this great opportunity while living to take care of you. Love others as best you can but remember they are humans just like you. They don’t own you and no human will ever be your higher power.

Engaging in your own life first and foremost will bring you the peace of mind that will allow you to have strong relationships with others.

The Weight of the Wrong Relationship

The weight of the wrong relationship is a heavy feeling that you’re truly not aware of til it’s gone.

You’re not aware of the lightness of life in general until you take that load off your shoulders.

Once the relationship is gone you may feel that you breathe easier and feel more relaxed knowing that there is no one looking over your shoulder telling you where you are failing or how you do not measure up.

In the right relationship you can make mistakes knowing that points are not being tallied–you’re safe.
No Contact

Waiting for a Shooting Star

Waiting around for an alcoholic to decide they have a drinking problem is like waiting for a shooting star to be within your field of view:

It may happen and if it does it’s spectacular!

Most of the time it only happens for a matter of seconds.

You wait and wait around for it to happen again and if you do your odds are better taking home major winnings after spinning a roulette wheel.

Save yourself time and mental anguish.

Let go and let God handle it. You cannot control the outcome of what any person on earth can do except yourself. Read the rest of this entry »

Toxic People

There are toxic people out there who have an aim which is to bother as many others as they can.

If they single you out it is because they see a vulnerability that they feel they can capitalize on.

If you can go above this toxicity and come out stronger because of it you will have done the most you can to maintain your balance and take care of you. You don’t need to tolerate their toxic ways but you do need to stand firm with your boundaries. Toxic people are cunning manipulators and if you can recognize them for who they are without stooping to their level you will be miles ahead.

Some signs of a toxic person:

They’re not nice.

They lie.

They’re surrounded by drama.

They don’t say nice things about other people.

They are evasive.

They’re selfish.

They always need to be right.

No Contact

Leaving things Undone

I have a terrible time leaving things undone! I am learning to get a grip on walking away from what is not finished but it’s definitely a process.

You and I must leave things undone at the end of the day for peace and sanity.

Unless there is a specific deadline for a particular project it is our duty to ourselves and the significant people in our lives to walk away from the work.

The work will ALWAYS be there tomorrow!

No Contact

Locked Up or Locked Out?

No Contact Warning, if you are offended by talk of breastfeeding you may want to move past the first few paragraphs.

Have you ever been locked up or locked out?

The other day I had a window treatment consultation with a customer who is a lactation consultant and it got it me to thinking of the experience I’d had with my last son who nursed for an extended period of time.
For the most part it was a great breastfeeding experience but there was a point when I got a breast infection which was a truly painful experience.

There was not much I could do to relieve the pain–my son’s nursing provided some relief but it wasn’t enough and I was miserable. I felt locked up. I didn’t have the right key to break the stronghold the infection had on me and the only way to get long lasting relief was to take an antibiotic. Once I got on the medication I found relief and ceased the locked up feeling I’d had.

Being locked up in the case of a breast infection is painful but there are other ways we get locked up or locked out, for instance:

Have you ever had a case of the nerves to the point where your words are locked up? I mean you may get some croaking verbalization to come out but it is truly difficult and silence is a better alternative. I had this happen once in an interview situation and no amount of water or deep breathing brought relief. I somehow croaked my way through but it was rough….

Have you ever been locked out of your car house or apartment? Locked out of your place of business or unable to open a combination lock?

Last week I couldn’t get my garage door to open. I entered the code, no luck, nothing. The back gate lock wouldn’t budge due to very cold conditions and swelling of the wood. I couldn’t get the front door to open because the deadbolt has a mind of it’s own and at that particular time no amount of leaning in or pulling out to get it to open would work.

Then out of the blue, the garage door opened on it’s own–must have been a radio frequency issue–but I was finally able to get inside.

Being closed out is tough and when it happens it affects us mightily. We can be locked out of jobs, promotions, all sorts of opportunities because there is something we need and don’t have or some intangible that we are missing. In the case of an entry to a house, vehicle, gate, etc we can get the right key or code and then relief is ours.

In the case of a job, promotion, or desired opportunity, being locked out could last awhile.

If it’s possible to get what we need like a license, certification, award, etc. we know what we need to do.

But it may be that this one thing we need to unlock our locked out conditions may not come to us.

Alexander Graham Bell said it best:

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”

Feeling locked up whether it be breastfeeding, your words, incarceration, or another way, relief comes through a process–whatever that may be…

If you are locked out, move forward, find a way to appreciate the door standing in front of you that is open.