When Anxiety Hits

When anxiety hits it feels like there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.

You need to run and release what’s inside but you have absolutely no idea where to go and how to do it.

If you have a nearby open space you could run and scream the feelings out but that’s not an option for most of us. Breathing through the deep feelings of despair can sometimes help.

Deep anxiety can be agonizing. A loss will trigger anxiety like nothing else can.

Whether it be a loss of a love relationship through separation, divorce, death, the loss of a parent or child, the loss of another dear family member, friend, beloved pet, the loss of a job, or a home, or the loss of health, the loss can be overwhelming.If you manage it with medication–and you may very well feel the need to at first–the pain will eventually come back because substances can only deaden the pain of loss for so long.

If the anxiety is severe find a way to relief quickly before your emotions mow you down.

Seek medical advice immediately if in crisis.

Breathe in and out slowly.

Talk to someone you know and trust.

Walk or run it out.

Talk to yourself, kindly.

Seek counsel as soon as possible.

Take care of you first and foremost.

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High Anxiety

High anxiety kills relationships.

High anxiety can kill you.

Every day you live in high anxiety is

One less day you fully live.

You render yourself extinct with fear.

Limit your anxiety with any method that works for you.

An anxiety reliever that comes from the actions you take

Rather than from what you ingest is worth its weight in gold.

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Second Guessing the Gut

Second guessing the gut is a dicey proposition.

Your instincts are all you really have to direct you toward making strong decisions that benefit you and keep you safe.

The conscious mind is not very good at helping us decide what is best for us where the subconscious mind goes deeper.

When we get the feeling that something just doesn’t add up–that’s our subconscious talking to us. A stab in the gut or a warm suffocating feeling in one part of the body is our inner being talking to us and we really have got to pay attention to that.

When you ignore the small voice inside you more often than not it will eventually start screaming at you. The sooner you start paying attention to it the sooner you’re inner self settles down and breathes a sigh of relief.

Your instincts tell you all you need to know you just need trust.No Contact

Edge of a Cliff

When standing at the edge of any cliff you always have choices.       No Contact

You can choose to stare at what’s below.

You can imagine the fall.

You can simply take the plunge.

On the other hand…

You can take a quick glance at what lies below and forget it.

Your future does not lie at the bottom.

Look around…

Your future lies in the solid ground beneath your feet and the

path that takes you away from any cliff you may encounter.

 

 

Deep Water

Jumping into deep water when you’re fairly uncertain is not the best course of action to take but…

if you’re in the wading pool too long you run the risk of never getting out.

Head for the area where you can look over your shoulder and see the wading pool but not so far away that you’re unprepared and leave yourself open to drowning in the deepest part.

As you gain momentum and experience you will be able to navigate through to deeper water.

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An Arrow in Your Heart

No ContactIf someone comes along and shoots an arrow in your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart. Pema Chodron

The attention we need lies within ourselves. The attention we often give is to those others and situations outside ourselves.

We can never ever do anything to heal another person–that’s their job as it should be. We can only heal what is inside us, that’s our job and our right.

Give Yourself Reprogramming

If you believe life will not get better and that you do not have what it takes to move forward successfully in relationships, career, or in any other way it’s time to give yourself a reprogramming.

Being in destructive relationships includes the one you’re in with yourself. When you have been put down, badgered, belittled, ignored, or physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually abused, it is easy to believe that you cannot do anything right or are not as good as others.

It is easy to think this way because at some point in your life or maybe throughout life you have listened to others who have told you that you are some how defective or are missing something and because of this will always  fail.

If whatever you believe and/or whatever recording you play over and over in your head is negative that noise can be deafening.  Silence the noise by playing a new recording–one that is positive uplifting and accurate. Memorize this recording and play it loud. Write it out and stick it to a wall where you will see it every day. So for instance, if the recording you play is: I’m a loser and will never ever make it in life; change it to: I am smart and strong and I will have a great life!

Start playing the new recording today. Play it over and over until you believe it. When the old negative recording starts to creep back into your thoughts focus on drowning it out with the new vibrant positive one.

Instead of being your own worst enemy concentrate on being your best friend. Don’t let ghosts from the past and naysayers in the present have power over the way you view yourself!

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Unemotional Existence with an Egocentric

Selfishness, self-centeredness, egotism, narcissism, call it what you want when a person feels the world revolves around their wants and needs. Being in a relationship with an egocentric person makes for an unemotional existence.  One thing you can always count on is that your needs and wants don’t count.

Egocentrics drain you dry and to survive you’ve got to pull away emotionally and physically. People who stay in a relationship with this type of person for financial and family reasons pay a very high price in the lack of emotional fulfillment.

The narcissist believes that the world must revolve around them. They are frustrated, angry, and irrational when they don’t get what they want. For their partner who desires a meaningful relationship, it feels like being on an empty battlefield. You know you’re in the fight of your life but your words go unheard, your feelings unnoticed. You’ll likely wonder,  “why am I here”?

It is vital for your future health and happiness that you recognize a selfish egotist early on in a new relationship. These people are usually quite charming initially so look beneath this facade when seeking a lasting relationship.

They will take center stage, demand constant attention, and when their needs aren’t met make sure you know that it is your responsibility to see that they are.

Egocentric people like to discredit others in order to make themselves appear better. Be aware of this because what they do with others they will also do with you when the situation warrants it. Read the rest of this entry »

The Accommodater

If you’re an accommodater you stop being genuine because it’s more important to keep the peace.

When you accommodate you worry about how another person feels as it relates to every little action you take which creates an imbalance of power.

For example, another person may make a comment about what you’re doing or not doing as it relates to them….maybe they want you to stop whatever it is you’re doing and do what they want you to do.

If you are in the middle of an activity you don’t need to make excuses for doing what you’re doing and you don’t need to stop what you’re doing just because another person implies that you should.

It is pretty darn liberating to say no.

Yes, is easy. Yes is always easy.

When you say yes you accommodate. It’s pleasing, it makes everything nice and neat and without conflict.

No is harder, always harder.

No goes against, is different from and is in conflict with.

When you mean no, say no. If you say yes but you really mean no you’re lying to yourself and the other person.

When you say what you mean you are helping others understand you better. You’re honoring your individuality.

Just do it.

You’ll be glad you did.

Note: If you’re in a domestic violence situation please seek help.

The Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

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We Must Give to Ourselves First

No ContactThose of us who keep looking to the outside for our happiness and well being are always going to find disappointment and likely even abuse in our love relationships because there is no living person who can give to us what we must give to ourselves first.

Another person can be supportive of who we are and stand beside us but if we do not stand up for us first why would another person? We will get exactly the type of relationship partner that we are ready to receive and if what we’re ready for is someone who is always looking for someone outside themselves to fill and make them whole we will be a match with that person because we are looking for the same thing.

If we get involved in love relationships too quickly before we truly know the person we are setting up the end of the relationship right from the beginning. Abusers like quick starts as they are not patient people. They want what they want when they want it and they let you know quickly that they are running the show. If you fear confronting this opposition and keep quiet when you should be speaking up you are choosing to maintain the relationship rather than speaking your truth. The difficult conversations are vital to your health and well being.

So ask yourself, who is running the show? You must choose you! In the face of abuse what else are you going to do?

If you want to be in charge of your life and have loving relationships with people who also love themselves you must change the way you view relationships and yourself. There is no other way.

There are resources to help you. Follow this link to a resource where you may just find the help you
need: http://bit.ly/2qBHUd8

As always, you must be safe. If you are living in a destructive relationship do what you can for yourself while still in your current living situation.