HAVE YOU:  Wanted to leave but don’t know how?
Tried to leave but just can’t? 
Left but keep coming back?
Been waiting for the right time to leave, but the right time never comes?



Breaking free from destructive relationships is tough because even though these relationships are dysfunctional they hold a certain amount of value or we wouldn’t be in them at all. The objective in leaving them is to bring balance and control back into our lives.

  • Equilibrium is a state of balance. When we are living with balance we feel good about ourselves and the way we live our lives. In abusive relationships much of our energy is used to keep these relationships going. We are out of balance because too much of our time and efforts are being poured into other people who aren’t bringing positive energy back to us.
  • Destructive relationships are not joyful. There may be brief periods of happiness but overall there is a greater amount of dissatisfaction and misery.


  • If you are currently in a destructive relationship it is possible to maintain the relationship and shift energy back to you but it takes self-discipline and discernment to do so. How will your partner react to your new found interest in taking care of yourself? How will you deal with their reaction? It may be possible to improve the relationship for a short time but in the long run, without ongoing counseling and a partner who is sincerely interested in growing through changes; your energy will most likely be used to maintain status quo.

It isn’t easy to leave a destructive relationship; especially if you aren’t used to standing up for yourself. Your biggest ally in doing this will be your resolve to have the best life possible. Whenever you weaken remember that your happiness depends on taking care of yourself first. Also remember to keep your feet planted firmly in reality. Abusers often want those they are involved with romantically to have a fantasy view toward life. It is to their advantage to find a partner who longs for a prince to sweep them off their feet. This is how they reel you in. Women who are planted firmly in reality aren’t looking for a prince. They won’t buy into the fantasy. This doesn’t mean that a woman should run from a man who treats her well, far from it! However, she should be weary of a man who appears too good too soon. Chances are the man is giving a great performance which will not be repeated once he’s convinced he’s won her over.

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The Relationship Is Bad for You